1 Corinthians 13; 4-7 in my opinion is one of the most misunderstood verses in the bible. The entire book is the letter written to the Corinth church by Paul regarding their falling from god’s laws. The church had become “worldly.” They didn’t break away from the old, and they incorporated a lot of the pagan traditions of society into their church.
The love verses have probably been read at every wedding we have attended; including mine. These verses can be applied to your marriage, because God saw marriage as one of the ultimate sacrifices to him. I know that sounds bad when I use the term sacrifice, but when we really think about it marriage is a sacrifice. We are sacrificing ourselves for another just as we would sacrifice ourselves for God out of love. These verses are how God loves you, not man’s definition of love.
This section of verses is more about rebuking the church for the lack of love behind their motives to the congregation. In every act we are not to use love as a control method over another. They were using the love of God behind their motives to gain certain control over the congregation, and played favoritism. They essentially were trying to play God with it. This is a great book for what is currently going on in a lot of the churches, and our government. They have turned this verse into almost a form of the prosperity gospel, and pretty much a guilt trip for a lot of people.
We are to love the church as God loves the church, but God does not manipulate individuals. This is one of the hardest concepts for Christians to understand, and deal with. We are to love to one another, but even love can become corruptible. If we do something for another out of love and that relationship becomes difficult or ends we turn this love into resentment, or bitterness. We think well I did this for you, so you should feel guilty for not doing what I want you to, or living how I want you to. That is what the Corinth church was becoming and Paul was calling them out on it.
I think in marriages we have done these things to each other at one time, or another. Parents do this to their children all the time. Friends do it to each other. The biggest culprit of this is the government right now. They are abusing the love of this nation against people. If we amass great amounts of wealth we are made to feel guilty for it. If we are not showing constantly who we are giving to then it is assumed that we don’t give. If we choose to do something in our life that benefits our family, but others can’t see if we are giving to charities then we are bad people. I should say that we aren’t willing to give our tax dollars to every program, or every individual.
My parents are polar opposites. This was hard growing up. My dad as kind as he is can guilt trip you into anything. My mom is the complete opposite. If you tell my dad no he gets angry, or he looks so sad that you end up changing your mind. When I tell my mom no that is the end of it. I don’t feel guilty anymore when I tell my dad no. This is the hardest concept for adult children to understand I think. We want to honor our parents, as we should, but if it goes against God, or your spouse it shouldn’t be happening.
My husband and I are different givers in most ways. We give differently to individuals. We give differently to each other. I like being by myself, and he is not that way. I love being with my husband, but I do not have to be him with all the time. It is the same with my children. I have had to get over the guilt of needing time by myself. I have also had to realize that I can’t always do that to my spouse or my children. I love them dearly, so that means I will sacrifice for them. That is the relationship we are to have with God, because he comes first.
The fires in this state were one of the greatest lessons I learned. That week actually ended up being terrible for my husband and me. During one of the greatest acts of generosity I have ever seen from a community to another it ended being one of the hardest weeks for me emotionally. I can be hard to deal with because of my beliefs. I believe what I believe, and I very rarely waiver on them. I convict myself constantly to study scripture and politics in this country because I want to understand it, and learn from it. I am constantly asking myself what I can I learn from this?
The motive behind the donation drive for the fires was this; our neighbors needed help and we could do it for them. That whole week I was praying that my heart and my mind would not become tempted with anger towards those I knew could give financially, or physically. I had to constantly keep that in check, because then the act would become corruptible. He would hold me accountable for it no one else. He put a test in front of me to see if I really would give up something for him. I did. It was hard, and I sure didn’t win a popularity contest for it. I know what I did that was wrong, but once it was done it was done. It was too hurtful to my husband and me.
I have a friendship that I have had for almost 17 years. We have fought, we have been kind to each other, we have expected more from each other than what we could give, we have forgiven each other, and we have used guilt on each other. The funny thing is we are still friends. It is what is. I don’t think we have ever judged each other for it. We always end up giving each other the space we need to get over our issues.
Each individual that has made an impression on our lives was there for reason, or is still there for a reason. God puts people in your life so that we grow in our relationship with him. It can be good or bad. That is the truth.The trials or blessings he give us are to make us stronger with him. This is the hardest concept for individuals I think that truly love God. We think we have to continue a relationship with another because of love for them. We haven’t stopped loving them, but if they are hurtful and damaging to us and go against him he doesn’t want them there. We think we have to give when he doesn't even want us to unless we really want to, and we feel led to do that. Christians should not feel guilty about having to stop giving more of themselves than what they can.
Paul was given a job by God to bring people to him and to hold them accountable. That is it. God gave him these instructions on the road to Damascus, and Paul delivered. I do not think this was easy for him. He was hated by people because of this. To be honest I don’t know how he did it, but he did it. This man is one of my greatest heroes and mentors. I just can’t learn enough from him. He holds me accountable to my actions, and keeps me in check. I have committed every one of these sins below, and I abused my love for another to make them feel guilty for it.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. “ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
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