Who says that we can’t change? We have a serious communication problem in our country. We are told that we can’t change one day, and the next day we are told we can. The biggest one that really bothers me is that I shouldn’t have to change, and you should accept me for the way I am. We tell ourselves this over and over again. It is very easy to say we can’t change. We can change it we just don’t want to. I have been reading numerous postings and articles about one of the key reasons there is a breakdown in our society as whole; marriage.
Marriage is a tough one. Our need to intrude on individuals lives is really disgusting in my opinion. We have taken it upon ourselves to change another individual without accepting that only the individual can change their circumstance. As we get older we begin to understand that people just want to be able to live without others dictating how they should live. If we allow individuals to come into our marriages that shouldn’t be there it will probably end.
A month before we got married I had nightmares about failing in my marriage. Then I got sick, my husband lost his job and we were forced to change. We had advice from everyone on how we were to handle it. What we should do, how we should do it and whether or not we even loved each other. We only had 2 people say we could do it, because they knew we loved each other and it was not family or friends. We both had individuals in our life that interfered in our marriage to an extreme where it caused great turmoil between us.
What is interesting about this is I never believed that I was good enough for my husband until really almost a year ago. I just knew that anything that happened was my fault, or was going to be fault. I felt such guilt that this man had married me knowing that I was sick, and he should be considered a saint. I rebelled on quite a few occasions, and then I felt tremendous guilt so I would give in. Now we know when we have reached our limit. We know when we are going to have change whether we want to or not.
Interference is the biggest issue I see with our country. We aren’t allowed any longer to have our own opinions and live a certain way because then we aren't being compassionate, or loving. Now we are enablers, because was too scared that we are going to hurt someone's feelings. We have made it so hard that I don’t think we have the ability any longer to compromise. This doesn’t really surprise me any longer. We are so worried about another’s opinion of us, and are made to feel guilty for saying no. How in the world are we going to solve these things without telling each the truth. It takes two to create a problem. In this country it is two parties that are creating the problem.
It seems that we only have the ability to see one side of a story, or circumstance. We are no longer capable of putting ourselves in another’s shoes. We just aren’t going to do it. Why can’t we do it? Why can’t we see both of sides of the problem? If we can’t even keep our marriages together how in the world can we run a country? That is one reason why it was so odd for my parents to watch me go down that path in my marriage. That was not the daughter they raised. They finally after years of watching me do it, said you are good enough to be his wife.
If we are taught, told, or made to believe that we can’t do something then we start to believe it. If we think this about ourselves we to believe it. Think about minorities in this country. For years individuals have been telling minorities that they are disadvantaged. Why would we could continue somewhat when the facts go against it? Why would we allow someone to imply that to another? Why would someone accept that about themselves? I did and I get it. It is easy to fall into that trap. They are too many individuals that overcome those obstacles to use it as an excuse any longer. If anything scripture teaches us there is no problem to big to solve.
I have heard stories about marriages that biblically could have ended, but they didn’t. This includes my marriage. We condemn individuals if they stand by their spouse when they have committed a great sin against each other. I rarely hear individuals commend them for working it out. We never know what we can do in our marriage until we are put in a position that could destroy our marriage.
The main reason I am even bringing marriage up is because we having on going argument about my husband being late every night. Right now he has a huge project that he is working on, so is working long hours. Well, when he doesn’t have those he is still late. I have been on him about being home for dinner every night with our boys, and the importance of it for years. He actually made it home for dinner, and the boys did not want to do that. They are used to him not being here for dinner. Well, he got mad at me and said you made me feel guilty for nothing. Two days later my oldest made the comment to him why do we have to do that? You are never home for dinner and are always late. It bothered my husband a great deal. He knows that by not changing this part of him it is setting example that he does not want for them to have.
We are both extremely stubborn and have a lot of pride. It is hard for both us to admit when we are wrong. When we finally do it things fall into place. When we return to how God sees marriage it works out. We are one in his eyes. Whatever we do in our marriages or what we are allowing to happen in our marriages will affect it. We are to treat each other with great love and respect just as we would Christ. If anything or anyone causes tension in our marriage that is a sin against God. There is no way around it. We have no business involving ourselves in another’s marriage. God sees them as one. This includes our families and friends.
The question we should be asking ourselves about our country is why would we want a bigger government? We have these beliefs about all of the issues, but when it really comes down to it would we let it interfere in our marriage, or our life? If you are single would you really allow the government to interfere in how you live your life? We are only seeing it as a whole, and not how it would individually affect our lives. Once these laws are set it is going to be very hard to reverse them, or change them.
http://www.esvbible.org/search/Ephesians%2B5/
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