I have a dear friend now that was not a close friend years ago. When I first met her she could quote scripture just like my grandma. She has the bible memorized. She would quote scripture to me at a time when I really needed it, but I would get so angry when she said it to me. I didn't want to hear it.
My perception of Christians was that they were judgmental of how others lived and they didn't have compassion towards others, or empathy. I thought when you went into a church they could tell that you didn't even know the books of the bible. I thought they could see how damaged my heart was, and how sinful it was. I was in my early twenties then and I just really wanted to have a good time. I didn't completely understand about the world and suffering. I still don't understand it.
I grew up in a great home and was not physically in need of anything. The biggest sadness I had faced in my life was my parent's divorce. It destroyed me on every level. I just could not move past it and took me getting sick for it to happen. My parents are human and they made mistakes with each other, but that doesn't mean that they aren't incredible individuals. They actually worked together this past Friday sorting and packing boxes for the Bastrop donation drive. I am still in shock.
First of all knowing how my parents feel about each other I was so proud of them. Out of sheer love and respect for me they put aside their differences to work together. They both have committed their lives to acts of service; veterans and children. This is a huge testament for me, my brothers, and my sister on how we are to live as adults. Their mistakes are few compared to how they have lived with their hearts.
My husband told me I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am too sensitive. He is right. I am too sensitive. I get hurt very easily. I hate feeling that way. He also told me because of that I am willing to do far more than what is asked of me for another. I have made horrible mistakes over this journey that I will now have to learn from and forgive myself for. I will move forward and not look back, because it is not worth it in the long run. It will only damage my heart. HE just wants us to realize it, accept it, confess it, and let it go.
Politics has now become more of passion than reason. I have slammed our president so many times and have not been supportive of anything that he has tried to do. I don't agree with his policies, because it takes more of individual’s livelihoods. That’s it. I believe in social security, Medicare, Medicaid, education, defense, welfare, unemployment, and affordable healthcare. I just don't believe we should spend more on it until we reform it. Every one of these programs is needed programs. I think all Americans agree that do want these things. We just want them fixed without having our taxes go up so we are forced to give more than we can.
This will be my last posting that I place on facebook. This is has become offensive to too many people. I will no longer post it there. My political posts are going to be very few, because I have realized this is not something people want to think about and that is ok. I believe in GOD and politics, but my acts are going to outweigh my words far more. Out of all the things I learned last week with the donations is that seeing is believing. Acting is HIM. I had to see truly the impact of tragedy to understand HIM and what HE wants. All good things come out of tragedy.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ..." 1 Corinthians 13:1
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