In the book of Luke chapter 22 starting at verse 7 the last supper begins. Jesus is breaking bread with His disciples right before His trial, His beating, His death and His resurrection. He is teaching His disciples to show gratitude for His sacrifice. Our debt is about to be paid for our sins. They would learn through the horror of His death to show gratitude for the forgiveness they would receive from His father. They would no longer be sent to hell for their sin. It became their way of life. It was apart of their souls.
Yesterday I got a call from a friend asking me for help regarding her daughter. Her daughter is facing a possible diagnosis of MS. As we talked my heart was so overwhelmed with gratitude for this woman and her husband. They were a huge part of my journey in the beginning. Her husband baptized me so many years ago. They know my secrets, my sins, the wretchedness of my heart and they loved me so much that they gave me a great amount of grace. I remember saying to her "God is punishing me for my sins," and her response was "He's not, he sees something in you that he loves."
I could hear the fear in her voice of the what ifs and when she said "if it is this what about the damage that it is causing to her body?" With all the love and grace that she gave me I had to say the truth of this disease to her. I had to tell her the damage is already done if it is MS. The meds and treatments can only slow it down so far. It broke my heart, because I do not wish that others should have to face this disease.
After I got off the phone I was thinking about her daughter and every emotion she will go through if the diagnosis is MS. The anger, the bitterness, the envy, the sadness, and the big question of why. It is amazing how God works, because earlier this week I asked myself the question; am I truly saved? I don't know why I asked myself that question, but the response came very quickly; I have immense love and gratitude to Him for making me sick. I have immense gratitude that he gave it to me so I could help others.
As Christians we are to have gratitude every day even in the midst of our trials. This is constant prayer and discernment. This is constant asking for help and that never stops. It is the constant act of trying to overcome pride; believing that we can do it with him. It is the constant act of remembering what Christ did for us. Our sufferings are nothing compared to what he did.
