Saturday, May 28, 2011

what we all want

i had stopped watching oprah a long time ago before she ended her show this past week. my mom and i watched the last show and oprah said something that stuck with me. she said that all people want validation. i agree with that and i believe all individuals want acceptance, forgiveness, love and kindness. when CHRIST came HE did not die for just a few, but HE died for all of us.

one of me and my husband's greatest desires is that all individuals feel welcome in our home; that they feel accepted. we want our children to be that way with others. we want them to grow up with kindness and compassion in their hearts for others. we don't agree with all of our families and friends decisions, but we do accept them for who they are. they feel the same way about us, so it's equal i hope.

i have not always been kind in my life, or been accepting. i can still fall short of what HE has asked me to do. i just have to move forward and hope to do better the next time. sharing our stories is what makes us human. i have been thinking about our first year and half of marriage. it was the worst year and half of our marriage and we both agree on this. i have been thinking about what GOD did for us that year and half; HE healed us.

physically you would never know i was sick, but everyday i either have extreme pain or it's just dull enough that i can get through my day. you just have to deal with it. the emotional and physical toll that this has taken on me and my husband is a lot to ask of anyone, but it has made us stronger. i really did not believe we were going to make it, but we did. our church brought us back together and the strength of HIS will. i pray that people can find a place, or their hearts go to GOD so they can know this joy.

when paul went to the churches he wasn't rebuking the christians that were trying to uphold GOD's laws he was rebuking those that become too self-righteous in there journeys. scripture is not about judging an individual it is about making individuals aware that we are all capable of sin. in the old testament the bible says though shall not commit murder, but CHRIST says that if anyone is angry with his brother he will be guilty. christians and non-christians are guilty of the judgement of one another. all men and women will bow to HIM in judgement. (matthew 5:21-48)

over the years i have had many "self-righteous" moments in my journey. one person sticks out in my mind the most where i failed to be a friend to them. i turned my back to them because i thought i was better than them. not that i have done what they did, but because i just couldn't get past my judgement of them and be there for them. i think that maybe my time with HIM lately hasn't been about becoming stronger in my journey with HIM it's been about becoming too self-righteous in my journey with HIM.

4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Thursday, May 26, 2011

state of confusion

i have to admit that i am going through some weird phase. the funny thing about it is i have never felt closer to GOD than i do now. i have begun to desire an even deeper understanding of faith, of scripture and what GOD wants from us. i am trying to step out of my box. for some of you, you probably think i do already.

there is great comfort in staying in your comfort zone that's why it's called a comfort zone. we can be blind to what is going on around us, or we just don't really want to see. i don't know which one is worse. i have been questioning not how i spread the word, but by how i show what GOD has done in my life. our pastor said that a lot of individuals feel as though they have to give up their personalities when they follow HIM, but remember HE made you this way. one of the hardest things for me to deal with is individuals that are fake to the outside world, but they really just aren't nice people. the funny thing about that is you can't hide from GOD. he knows what in your heart, so what are we doing?

in my opinion one of the biggest sins of a christian is that we pick and choose what we take from the bible and how we are going to live our life. we want to stay with what is comfortable, not with what HE has told us we should be doing. accepting individuals for whom they are can be a pretty hard thing to do. think of all of the personality traits that we are having to deal with. the one thing i do know is i would never say never, because once you do that GOD seems to throw an obstacle to you that you never could have imagined would happen. the other thing i have figured out is that you can read scripture, but so many of us lose the meaning of what GOD is telling us, including me. we condemn those around us far easier than what HE does i think.

i think a lot of us going through a period where we really don't know what to expect anymore, or what GOD is going to throw at us. about the only two things i'm certain about right now is this rapture business that this preacher is preaching is false doctrine - period. we do not know the day CHRIST will return, so we are to live each day as if HE was going to return that day (matthew chapters 23 and 24). second, nations, or individuals that stand against israel will fall. people can argue this as much as they want, but it is all over the bible from genesis to revelations. i learned this way before glenn beck said it.

i want to know why you believe something. i want know if you found it in scripture and if that is your interpretation of it. i want to know if it's the church that has turned you from GOD, or if you think it's too hard to follow HIM. i want to know why you think GOD is not loving, or forgiving. i want to know why the world's view is so important, but not HIM. this is what i have been going through - complete confusion.

i'm not questioning the doctrine, but i'm questioning individuals that say they are christians and those that aren't. if you're not your willing to change yourself how in the world can you expect someone else to do it.

"for the grace given to me i say to everyone among you not think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgement, as GOD allotted to each a measure of faith." romans 13:3

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

what are we choosing to ignore

Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice.

What good fortune for governments that the people do not think.

Who says I am not under the special protection of God?


the above are all quotes from adolf hitler. a few years ago i remember a conversation with a fellow church member during home group about what GOD allows to happen in this world and we discussed the holocaust; what evil presents itself to our eyes, but yet we choose to ignore it.

a quote i read some time ago has stayed with me regarding the passivity of the human race now - "we always say such is life, and we ignore it." i think one of the hardest things in the world is too stand up for what you believe in; to fight. one of the greatest acts of christianity is to give to others, to love others as you would yourself. we are that nation. we were created because of GOD. we were created because our founding fathers believed in HIM.

i fear that our deeds for the world will come back to haunt us. i fear that we have become too tolerate and have failed to protect our nation. i fear that americans are listening to rhetoric that portrays this country as evil around world. we are not that nation. we are a nation of strength. the challenges that we are facing now we must pay attention to, because evil could spread all over this country if we are not prepared.

over the course of my journey i have judged far more than i should have. as i read scripture i have a tendency to look at others and think of what they should be doing and not look at their hearts. we usually surround ourselves that are strong in faith, but not the weak in faith. i've heard many christians are leaving the church, because sound doctrine is not being taught. my question though is if you are leaving the church because sound doctrine is not being taught, are you really living a CHRISTLIKE life?

the history of hitler and the holocaust astounds me because one man preyed upon the ignorance of mankind to create such evil. we rely on too many others to educate ourselves, and do not take enough time personally to teach ourselves and our children. every religion is corruptible. every faith has evil, it's just whether or not we fight it. CHRIST talks of the poor, and i don't think that HE just meant the poor financially, but the poor in spirit also. the world is telling us what is acceptable and we are ignoring what GOD said was acceptable.

the bible teaches what we should be paying attention to. it doesn't say just to pay attention to the love and grace of GOD, but also to pay attention to the sin that could corrupt us if we become to lukewarm in our journey. below is from a blog posting i read regarding revelations 3 and the church. it sounds pretty much like what it is happening today in a lot of churches and congregations around this country.

i believe that if we don't pay attention to what is going on we will continue to fail. i fear that as individuals we have lost the simple acts of accountability and humility. i fear that as christians we become too judgemental of another and aren't keeping our own sin in the back of our mind. i fear that we aren't teaching what true grace and forgivness is because we have become too prideful in our journies.


"We are told in Revelation 3 of the 7 Churches. The last church or church age is symbolized by the Church of Laodicea. Laodicea means "the rights of the people." Thus, this was a church governed by the will of the people, rather than the will of God. This is the church age from which the Antichrist and the False Prophet will emerge. It is the church age Paul talked about that would not endure sound doctrine, but would gather around them teachers that would say what their itching ears wanted and desired to hear (2 Tim 4:3). This church is described as lukewarm, indifferent, not concerned with right and wrong, or with good and evil. They take a neutral position: one of "live and let live; don’t rock the boat; and don’t cause waves." They are trying to serve two masters—God and self (or the world).

"We will continue to monitor the church's faithfulness to the teaching of the Word of God, realizing that the church of the last days will be marked by apostasy and a falling away. This does not mean that God is not moving and doing great things - but can we also identify the wolves in sheep's clothing? "For false Christ's and false prophets shall rise, and shall show signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the very elect". (Mark 13:22)."


“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:1-5


"Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?" Romans 2:3

Monday, May 16, 2011

the journey

i have started reading the letters of paul to the churches. i am inspired by his walk and mission to spread the word of CHRIST. i like how he speaks of GOD'S love and grace. i like his direct approach to teaching the words of GOD and holding those that have confessed that CHRIST is their saviour accountable. next to CHRIST this is the man that i would like to meet and talk with the most.

i go through phases in my ms. i long to really forget that i have it, or to even deal with it. many days i wish that it wasn't there for me to have to confront. i have balance with it, or i just really push myself to ignore it. i started thinking how we do this with the words of GOD; the rules. really we do this with almost anything that it is too hard to cope with; we ignore it. i find that it is much easier to cope with GOD than the world. at least you know where you stand with him; no hidden agendas, no hidden thoughts, and you can trust HIM.

i think with any challenge we tend to either look at it head on, or just allow the challenge to overwhelm us. what i find interesting in most situations with individuals that haven't turned to CHRIST is that they are worried about GOD condemning them, but GOD is not going to condemn you the world will condemn you.

more and more attacks are popping up about GOD, christianity and the church. hawkins whom is a known atheist just recently said that christianity is a fairy tale; a myth. i just read an article that said the books in the new testament were forged. bill maher for years has said that christianity is the biggest joke ever played on humanity. of course to me this is just ignorance, but to those that have never read the bible it could make a lot sense to them.

i think the hardest thing for individuals to accept is that CHRIST comes first above everything. we can't physically see HIM, so how could that be possible. how could HE come above your family, how could we choose HIS way above society, or how could we even choose HIM above our children? i have to believe that we all know there is something larger and greater than ourselves.

when i was diagnosed it was about the ms that brought me to HIM, but in the end that wasn't the real reason. i had regrets, guilt, anger, fear, bitterness, grudges, you name it i had it. that was the reason HE brought to me HIM; to heal my heart. no one had been able to do that before, not even my husband. if it's fear that won't allow us to go to HIM because we're afraid of being condemned by HIM then please don't. i think maybe we should fear being condemned by the world more.

"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 corinthians 1; 26-31

Monday, May 9, 2011

CHRIST is sufficient

i understand the anger that some have with GOD. i understand how some can begin to lose faith over the long term. i can understand how so many can be mislead by false doctrine - it's out there. we see so much misery now we fail to look for the beauty that is out there.

in service on sunday the wife of our pastor said something about mother's that really spoke to me about our relationship with CHRIST. when you become a mom you lose yourself. your life is no longer your own. you struggle to find out who you are and the person you are going to become in that journey. you lose your patience, you have days where you feel like you are going to lose your mind and then you have moments where you find what a beautiful gift a child is.

GOD has these days with us, and then we have moments where we show HIM that we get it. we have the eternal gift of unconditional love with HIM and what a great blessing that is. i have been going through a very non christ like walk lately. i have been watching the news too much again and other things, that are really not me any longer. i have felt lost. the great thing about this is that i come back and confess and HE hopefully gives me grace.

i was just telling a friend that i have pulled out of a lot of church activities by choice. i have been thinking about those that are in need around me that don't sit in the pew with me on sundays. there is so much fear and anger going around that it seems just the simple acts of kindness and compassion are no longer there. this isn't about money, or where our country is going, it's about helping those that are in emotional need; that are lost.

i know that we all have it in us to be kind; i know we do. my prayer is that we look at individuals not just the ones that go to church with us and reach out with forgiveness, understanding, compassion and grace, but to all individuals. each of us needs love - all of us. i can be in a terrible mood, or sad and then something happens where i'm reminded of HIM and HIS love.

if we don't have faith, or hope as a christian we become lost. if we don't seek out comfort from scripture we become lost. our journey is like that of a child. we become selfish in our journey with HIM where we are constantly demanding something from our labors. i look at this way if i am teaching my children to love one another, to be kind to one another, to apologize to one another, but i can't show that to another person, how will they learn? if i am always seeking forgiveness from GOD for my mistakes HE is probably at some point going to ask me when i will understand that HE is sufficient alone; not the world?

marriage is this way. i am as much to blame as the next person on this one. we want our spouse to find our peace for us. we want them to give us all the things that GOD gives us so graciously. we want our spouses to make us happy, but see we are responsible for that - not them. my husband and i's home improvement project about drove us both insane. things that were important to me were not to my husband and things that were important to my husband were not to me. on a deeper level we both are still learning this about each other. we both are still learning what hurts one may not hurt the other. i figure we'll get it before we die.

i'm not saying that we have to like everybody, but we do need to be kind. i've had to eat big ole pieces of humble pie quite a few times because of this, but when i put my trust in HIM HE got me through it whether i wanted to or not. the question really is; are we living a world centered life, or a GOD centered life. if we put HIM above all things HE will show us the way.

"not that i have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but i press on so that i may lay hold of that for which i was laid hold of by JESUS CHRIST. brethren, i do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing i do; forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead" philippians 3:12-13