this past weekend was a great one when it came to discussing GOD with other friends. one of my friends said something that i keep thinking about over and over again; you are only accountable to GOD. for most of us we don't realize, or even think that every word and every action is accountable to GOD. what we do in this life will be questioned by HIM.
i'm going to have a lot of explaining to do; a lot. on more than one occasion i have chosen to worry about what my family and friends would think over what GOD was telling me to do. that fear of hurting someone, or just disappointing them weighed heavily on my heart and mind. we always talk about holding each other accountable in our actions, but what about our accountability to GOD. praying is when you find out what HE is holding you accountable to. we can pray for the things we want in life, but GOD usually gives us what really need.
what's happening in the world today i believe is because we needed to be awakened from our sleep. in every industry, every nation, every home, and every government we are being awakened to what our actions have done. i just read a quote by ronald reagan that said "if we forget we are a nation under GOD, than we will be a nation no more." we have forgotten - all of us. we are not a prosperous nation because of our material goods, because the reality is most us don't even own those goods because we are in debt. we were once a prosperous nation because we never forgot that we were a nation under GOD.
here's the way i see it, individuals that are offended by scripture, or hearing the name GOD are just really trying to figure out a way to get out of HIS judgement. we don't hear what we are doing that is wrong. we don't want to know that our actions are going to be questioned. for those that say they don't believe i ask you the question then; in your heart and your mind do you really feel like you're going to escape that accountability?
i never thought that i would be held accountable to HIM in my actions. i really don't even know if i believed enough that HE was there for a long time. for years i chose to bury things about myself that disgusted me instead of facing them head on. HE gave me something that i did not want and i would have to deal with; MS. this disease has made me lay out everything that i was doing to myself that was hurting me. i couldn't escape it anymore.
i've written posts about my marriage and our rocky times over the last year. both of us had to do something for each other that neither one of us wanted to do, but we had to do it because it was interfering with our relationship. we have made a promise to GOD that we would live by HIS rules in our home and HE held us accountable for it no matter how hard it was. mine was my husband telling me that on a problem was going to be solved whether i liked it or not, or my husband would leave. his was from a man that we respect that is a pastor at our church that basically said if you don't follow what scripture has told you, you won't have a wife. harsh realities for both us; GOD's accountability to our promise of marriage.
i am selfish in the sense that i won't let things come in between my husband and i. i am spoiled because i have such a beautiful life that i want for nothing. i have been so blessed so far even in my greatest trials, because i was willing to be held by HIS accountability. that took me a long time to understand about my relationship with CHRIST. i am still learning from scripture and HIM. you may be going through hell right now, but sit back and take a moment to be silent. listen to the voice that is telling what you need to do to overcome it. it may be hardest thing you ever done, but the result will be your greatest blessing because you've learned to endure.
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 corinthians 10:13
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
you are forgiven
the sermon yesterday was pretty powerful regarding GOD's forgiveness and our past. all of us have something that we cannot forgive ourselves for. our pastor said "it is what is" - we can't change it, and GOD asks us to seek his forgiveness and move forward. the cross is big enough for all of us, not just a few.
the nature of mankind is to hold on to something from the past that doesn't even matter anymore. we search for ways to change the outcome, or the words that were said. we try to figure out a way for GOD not to see our mistake. GOD knows what we've done, but HE wants us to say it, confess it and seek our forgiveness from HIM.
the saying i will forgive, but will not forget really has started to not make sense to me. that saying isn't even true when you think about it. we still remember the action, so how could we forgive. we make promises that we can't keep and we continue to seek forgiveness for the same mistake. in the end it's not going to matter what the actual sin is, but what our capacity is to forgive and love. HE will judge us on how much we loved.
when i first started the journey i felt such horrible guilt and remorse for the things that i had done in the past. the lack of self-respect and love for myself showed in all my actions. i put myself in situations that were not worthy of GOD. i failed miserably. it took years for me to move past that; years.
i've recently been able to forgive myself for having MS. in the beginning i hated that i had this and my husband has this burden. i was willing to give up myself in the process. MS is out of my control and my husband's. this is the trial we have been given and it is how we handle that is going to matter; what we can do to overcome the odds of it. i've just now been able to accept the fact that my kids love me whether we rest for the day, or we do something to help them grow and have fun.
my husband is an incredible man. i'm very lucky to have him in my life. my parents said something to me this past november that finally shook me out of my guilt. they both said "yes, he is good man and you are lucky to have him, but did you forget that he is lucky to have you. you are just as good as him don't ever forget that. don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for being the woman he married and who you are. you are just as worthy as him." i had to remember that he married me because of me, not because he is good man that married a sick woman.
we should not be asking the question to GOD "why is this happening to me, but what do i need to learn from this?" what aren't we letting go of that is driving us. whether you think that you right, or wrong is it driving you, controlling you, or just making you forget to love great?
"for this reason i say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." luke 7:47
the nature of mankind is to hold on to something from the past that doesn't even matter anymore. we search for ways to change the outcome, or the words that were said. we try to figure out a way for GOD not to see our mistake. GOD knows what we've done, but HE wants us to say it, confess it and seek our forgiveness from HIM.
the saying i will forgive, but will not forget really has started to not make sense to me. that saying isn't even true when you think about it. we still remember the action, so how could we forgive. we make promises that we can't keep and we continue to seek forgiveness for the same mistake. in the end it's not going to matter what the actual sin is, but what our capacity is to forgive and love. HE will judge us on how much we loved.
when i first started the journey i felt such horrible guilt and remorse for the things that i had done in the past. the lack of self-respect and love for myself showed in all my actions. i put myself in situations that were not worthy of GOD. i failed miserably. it took years for me to move past that; years.
i've recently been able to forgive myself for having MS. in the beginning i hated that i had this and my husband has this burden. i was willing to give up myself in the process. MS is out of my control and my husband's. this is the trial we have been given and it is how we handle that is going to matter; what we can do to overcome the odds of it. i've just now been able to accept the fact that my kids love me whether we rest for the day, or we do something to help them grow and have fun.
my husband is an incredible man. i'm very lucky to have him in my life. my parents said something to me this past november that finally shook me out of my guilt. they both said "yes, he is good man and you are lucky to have him, but did you forget that he is lucky to have you. you are just as good as him don't ever forget that. don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for being the woman he married and who you are. you are just as worthy as him." i had to remember that he married me because of me, not because he is good man that married a sick woman.
we should not be asking the question to GOD "why is this happening to me, but what do i need to learn from this?" what aren't we letting go of that is driving us. whether you think that you right, or wrong is it driving you, controlling you, or just making you forget to love great?
"for this reason i say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." luke 7:47
Friday, June 24, 2011
friendships
this last week has been a weird one. i have been out of sorts since my trip to indiana. i got to see beautiful friends and family that i cherish. also, my family laid to rest my uncle jerry. it was not easy i must say. the stories all of us told about him were exactly him. i have never known anyone like him, and probably never will.
my uncle and i had some big rough spots over the years. he was gracious enough to forgive me because he loved me. he loved his family dearly and he showed that over and over again. we made sure that when he got sick we could protect him and take care of him. dementia is awful. that was the hardest part over the years of caring for him medically; he was losing the memory of us. watching that was awful, but you have to do that for the people you love and care about.
i've learned a lot about friendships since i got sick. i've learned who were my friends and who weren't. i have learned what individuals can handle and what they can't. i have also learned that some people just want a good time and aren't true friends. i have a very high opinion of my friends. i value the good times, but i also value how they are friends during the bad times. over the years if we are still friends after a fight, or a bad time then we are still friends. i apologize for ever being a bad friend and not being there during the bad times. that is my failure to you.
i have to say it's kinda like the saying just because you go to church every sunday doesn't mean your a christian. well you just because you say your friends with someone doesn't always mean you are a true friend. there is a time where you have friends of different seasons; different points in your life. there are times where you haven't spoken to someone in years, or seen them but you pick up just where you left off before. that is an incredible feeling. a lot of people are going through a hard time right now and it may be one of your friends - be there for them no matter how long it takes.
i thought about how wonderful my uncle was and i realized that i had some issues with individuals on how they treated him in his final years. i thought they were his friends. i can only hope that he didn't want them to see him that way and that is why they stayed away. i can only hope as we get older that we realize how we have failed sometimes at being a friend.
i can't always physically be there for my friends and they know that. i can't always help with cooking meals, laundry or taking care of their kids. this makes me sad because they have done so much for me over the years. i will never be able to show them how grateful i am for that. if you've made a mistake in a friendship own up to it. if they've hurt you in some way try to mend your relationship. life is messy, but how we treat someone will come back to haunt you. one thing scripture is about is how you treat another. HE will remember.
"if one member suffers, all members suffer with it; or if one member is honored all the members rejoice with it." 1 corinthians 12:26
"this is my commandment, that you love one another as i have loved you. greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." john 15:12-13
my uncle and i had some big rough spots over the years. he was gracious enough to forgive me because he loved me. he loved his family dearly and he showed that over and over again. we made sure that when he got sick we could protect him and take care of him. dementia is awful. that was the hardest part over the years of caring for him medically; he was losing the memory of us. watching that was awful, but you have to do that for the people you love and care about.
i've learned a lot about friendships since i got sick. i've learned who were my friends and who weren't. i have learned what individuals can handle and what they can't. i have also learned that some people just want a good time and aren't true friends. i have a very high opinion of my friends. i value the good times, but i also value how they are friends during the bad times. over the years if we are still friends after a fight, or a bad time then we are still friends. i apologize for ever being a bad friend and not being there during the bad times. that is my failure to you.
i have to say it's kinda like the saying just because you go to church every sunday doesn't mean your a christian. well you just because you say your friends with someone doesn't always mean you are a true friend. there is a time where you have friends of different seasons; different points in your life. there are times where you haven't spoken to someone in years, or seen them but you pick up just where you left off before. that is an incredible feeling. a lot of people are going through a hard time right now and it may be one of your friends - be there for them no matter how long it takes.
i thought about how wonderful my uncle was and i realized that i had some issues with individuals on how they treated him in his final years. i thought they were his friends. i can only hope that he didn't want them to see him that way and that is why they stayed away. i can only hope as we get older that we realize how we have failed sometimes at being a friend.
i can't always physically be there for my friends and they know that. i can't always help with cooking meals, laundry or taking care of their kids. this makes me sad because they have done so much for me over the years. i will never be able to show them how grateful i am for that. if you've made a mistake in a friendship own up to it. if they've hurt you in some way try to mend your relationship. life is messy, but how we treat someone will come back to haunt you. one thing scripture is about is how you treat another. HE will remember.
"if one member suffers, all members suffer with it; or if one member is honored all the members rejoice with it." 1 corinthians 12:26
"this is my commandment, that you love one another as i have loved you. greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." john 15:12-13
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
the wrath of GOD
the race is starting to heat up. everyone is throwing their hat in. i wonder whom the winner will be for 2012. i have no idea who to believe and who not. i don't even know if we can survive the problems we have and what was once our way of life. we have polluted even the simple things and made them so complicated that we can barely breath. i wonder if we even know that.
i can write about GOD all i want, but in reality i have the belief that GOD will always forgive no matter what. i have read scripture for years, seen the words in black and white, but still don't have as much fear as i should. do i have hope that HE will; of course. i have a question though if we continually turn our backs, and HE gives us warnings is HE going to be so kind in the end?
it's like raising a child. as a parent you are continually trying to teach your child not to do the bad things. you tell them no the first time and you have patience. the second time you're getting a little more annoyed. by the third or fourth time you're furious. punishment usually follows. why wouldn't GOD do that? are we so naive to think that HIS wrath has calmed in the years since CHRIST?
i guess the first question would be as a christian do you believe the bible to be the true word of GOD. do you believe it just to be stories? do you believe that it is only half truths? HE flooded the earth because HE was unhappy with mankind. HE had HIS OWN SON brutally murdered on the cross to save you. why would HE stop that wrath now?
of course i will be considered crazy for questioning this by friends and family. i had two individuals in my life talk about what GOD wants from me and HE is about love. well HE is about love, but HE is also a jealous GOD - he does not like being replaced. HE does not like being ignored. we have ignored HIM for a very long time and i just wonder if we have royally screwed ourselves. how many inches is HE going to allow us to take?
i don't know if it's the church that has taught us to ignore these things, fellow christians or the world. i don't know if it's friends or family that has taught us to say "sure, you can have an inch, how many do you want?" i have quite a few issues that i know i should not be doing, and i am even passive in thinking that HE will not get mad at me.
i used to believe that we were such a strong nation. i don't think we are anymore. we are too passive. we aren't willing to stand up to our authorities for leading us down the wrong path. we aren't willing to say no because we can't even do that in our own lives, because of the fear of what our friends and family will say. we have allowed everyone to take an inch and keep taking inches. every move we make is supposedly justified and we aren't supposed to question it. what is wrong with us?
the sad part is that i will get off the computer and keep on being passive, living in my rose colored glasses and assume that HE will keep on forgiving me even when i say i won't do it again but do. i am stupid in thinking that this will not be my judgment. i can't even question why someone doesn't believe in GOD, because i don't even believe half the time there will be a consequence to my actions.
i guess what i'm asking is; when is our luck gonna run out?
"I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” luke 18:8
i can write about GOD all i want, but in reality i have the belief that GOD will always forgive no matter what. i have read scripture for years, seen the words in black and white, but still don't have as much fear as i should. do i have hope that HE will; of course. i have a question though if we continually turn our backs, and HE gives us warnings is HE going to be so kind in the end?
it's like raising a child. as a parent you are continually trying to teach your child not to do the bad things. you tell them no the first time and you have patience. the second time you're getting a little more annoyed. by the third or fourth time you're furious. punishment usually follows. why wouldn't GOD do that? are we so naive to think that HIS wrath has calmed in the years since CHRIST?
i guess the first question would be as a christian do you believe the bible to be the true word of GOD. do you believe it just to be stories? do you believe that it is only half truths? HE flooded the earth because HE was unhappy with mankind. HE had HIS OWN SON brutally murdered on the cross to save you. why would HE stop that wrath now?
of course i will be considered crazy for questioning this by friends and family. i had two individuals in my life talk about what GOD wants from me and HE is about love. well HE is about love, but HE is also a jealous GOD - he does not like being replaced. HE does not like being ignored. we have ignored HIM for a very long time and i just wonder if we have royally screwed ourselves. how many inches is HE going to allow us to take?
i don't know if it's the church that has taught us to ignore these things, fellow christians or the world. i don't know if it's friends or family that has taught us to say "sure, you can have an inch, how many do you want?" i have quite a few issues that i know i should not be doing, and i am even passive in thinking that HE will not get mad at me.
i used to believe that we were such a strong nation. i don't think we are anymore. we are too passive. we aren't willing to stand up to our authorities for leading us down the wrong path. we aren't willing to say no because we can't even do that in our own lives, because of the fear of what our friends and family will say. we have allowed everyone to take an inch and keep taking inches. every move we make is supposedly justified and we aren't supposed to question it. what is wrong with us?
the sad part is that i will get off the computer and keep on being passive, living in my rose colored glasses and assume that HE will keep on forgiving me even when i say i won't do it again but do. i am stupid in thinking that this will not be my judgment. i can't even question why someone doesn't believe in GOD, because i don't even believe half the time there will be a consequence to my actions.
i guess what i'm asking is; when is our luck gonna run out?
"I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” luke 18:8
Friday, June 10, 2011
MS
every night i walk to the refrigerator and i pull out my shot. every morning i take meds that are supposed to help with the journey of MS. when i was first diagnosed and they gave the different options of how to treat this disease i was pissed. i thought at that moment of all the things GOD could give me it had to be treated with a shot. at least it wasn't a snake.
i love and hate this disease. i don't want to think of what it could do to me in later years. it scares me. the fear and pain of what my boys will have to deal with makes me sick sometimes. i don't for a minute regret their lives, because it will make them better men. their father is their example. the compassion that will be fed into their hearts will be glorious in our eyes and GOD.
i never wanted this for my husband. what a burden he has to face. he has to have the responsibility of raising children, but also the responsibility of caring for a wife with a chronic illness. he handles it with grace and dignity. he handles it with integrity and such strength. i could forgive him for anything, because he is a true man of GOD. my sons will be raised by this man and it makes my heart happy.
these past couple of months i have been dreading the day that is only a week a way now. i will be blessed to spend time with beautiful friends and family, but then i will have to lay my beloved uncle's ashes to rest. i remember the day i told him that i was sick and his words. i remember that he told me to fight and to live fully no matter what. in the all the years we had been together he said i love you when i told him, then he hung up the phone.
there will always be individuals that you will cherish, that you will learn from and love so very much. i have had the great fortune to love far more than hate. i have had the great fortune to be loved and cherished. these are the things that life is about - not the other. always tell the people you love how much you love them. don't let a moment slip by that you will regret later.
HE gave me this disease so i could be reminded everyday that i must love and feel compassion. HE gave it to me so i could forgive and move forward. the older i get the more emotion i show. i don't want to hide that. i will not hide my beliefs even if it offends. i will not hide my love or support for another just because the world doesn't agree. we are all in this together. HE made us that way. remember, we all face a battle it's just how we choose to live with that. we must move forward. we must remember that we are because HIM.
i love and hate this disease. i don't want to think of what it could do to me in later years. it scares me. the fear and pain of what my boys will have to deal with makes me sick sometimes. i don't for a minute regret their lives, because it will make them better men. their father is their example. the compassion that will be fed into their hearts will be glorious in our eyes and GOD.
i never wanted this for my husband. what a burden he has to face. he has to have the responsibility of raising children, but also the responsibility of caring for a wife with a chronic illness. he handles it with grace and dignity. he handles it with integrity and such strength. i could forgive him for anything, because he is a true man of GOD. my sons will be raised by this man and it makes my heart happy.
these past couple of months i have been dreading the day that is only a week a way now. i will be blessed to spend time with beautiful friends and family, but then i will have to lay my beloved uncle's ashes to rest. i remember the day i told him that i was sick and his words. i remember that he told me to fight and to live fully no matter what. in the all the years we had been together he said i love you when i told him, then he hung up the phone.
there will always be individuals that you will cherish, that you will learn from and love so very much. i have had the great fortune to love far more than hate. i have had the great fortune to be loved and cherished. these are the things that life is about - not the other. always tell the people you love how much you love them. don't let a moment slip by that you will regret later.
HE gave me this disease so i could be reminded everyday that i must love and feel compassion. HE gave it to me so i could forgive and move forward. the older i get the more emotion i show. i don't want to hide that. i will not hide my beliefs even if it offends. i will not hide my love or support for another just because the world doesn't agree. we are all in this together. HE made us that way. remember, we all face a battle it's just how we choose to live with that. we must move forward. we must remember that we are because HIM.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
the death penalty
i have been thinking about this for a very, very long time. i used to be very confident in my belief that we should have the death penalty. i have begun thinking though about whether or not i should have that belief. i can honestly say that if a crime is committed against a child i have no problem with the death penalty. i cannot find it in myself to give that individual forgiveness.
for example the casey anthony trial. i cannot comprehend in my mind how a mother could do this to a child. the idea that she would rather kill her child so she could have a "good time" disgusts me. actually, pretty much all parents that hurt a child is disgusting to me. sexual abuse just pushes me over the edge. i guess it's because i grew with a mom that was a social worker and knew the horrors of this crime.
when bin laden was killed i have to say that i had very mixed emotions about his death. i was overjoyed that he was dead, and then i thought for a moment on whether he had deserved a trial for his crimes. i think about men and women that have committed such horrors against humanity and whether they deserve to die. i don't know what to think about this and that's the problem.
when i hear stories about women being stoned to death in the middle east for committing even adultery i am disgusted, but then i think don't we do the same in our judgement on whom should die. how do we decide on who should die and who shouldn't? i always think about paul and what crimes he committed against christians. what would we have done if he had not been apart of the word of GOD.
i know for many they don't see abortion as murder because of what the circumstance is on how the child was physically created. isn't a heartbeat a heartbeat? we may not think that individual should have a child and they probably shouldn't, but GOD created that child before any of us had even conceived that child in our mind.
i always ask myself what would i want to do if someone hurt my family, or my children? the honest answer would be that i would want them dead. i read a book sometime ago about woman who's parents were killed by another member of their church congregation and she forgave him. she is a better woman than i could be.
"21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny." matthew 5:21-26
"38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[h] 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." matthew 5:38-42
for example the casey anthony trial. i cannot comprehend in my mind how a mother could do this to a child. the idea that she would rather kill her child so she could have a "good time" disgusts me. actually, pretty much all parents that hurt a child is disgusting to me. sexual abuse just pushes me over the edge. i guess it's because i grew with a mom that was a social worker and knew the horrors of this crime.
when bin laden was killed i have to say that i had very mixed emotions about his death. i was overjoyed that he was dead, and then i thought for a moment on whether he had deserved a trial for his crimes. i think about men and women that have committed such horrors against humanity and whether they deserve to die. i don't know what to think about this and that's the problem.
when i hear stories about women being stoned to death in the middle east for committing even adultery i am disgusted, but then i think don't we do the same in our judgement on whom should die. how do we decide on who should die and who shouldn't? i always think about paul and what crimes he committed against christians. what would we have done if he had not been apart of the word of GOD.
i know for many they don't see abortion as murder because of what the circumstance is on how the child was physically created. isn't a heartbeat a heartbeat? we may not think that individual should have a child and they probably shouldn't, but GOD created that child before any of us had even conceived that child in our mind.
i always ask myself what would i want to do if someone hurt my family, or my children? the honest answer would be that i would want them dead. i read a book sometime ago about woman who's parents were killed by another member of their church congregation and she forgave him. she is a better woman than i could be.
"21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny." matthew 5:21-26
"38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[h] 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." matthew 5:38-42
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
why we are married
everyday each one of us wakes up to the world with our responsibilities. each one of us has something that makes us look forward to each and every day. each day is another day to glorify and do the will of GOD. each day HE gives us the grace to make it through another.
the word commitment just doesn't seem to matter anymore. we aren't willing it seems to push forward no matter how hard it is. so many have seem to lost their integrity. we play the blame game instead of sitting down and working the problem out. even our relationship with CHRIST seems to be too much work.
fear of going against what society, our friendships, or what our families think is what drives most of us. take for instance our relationships - marriage. i do not pretend to understand what happens in marriages that end in divorce. some are really bad marriages; emotional and physical abuse should not be tolerated and i don't think GOD would condemn you for getting out. HE wants you to be safe in spirit and mind. for others it seems that we are seeking something from our spouses that they cannot give. true joy comes from CHRIST. the peace in your heart and mind comes from HIM.
divorce has caused me great judgement in others and that is my issue. i am a child of divorce. it's not that i think badly of someone, it's just that i wonder what happened and it makes me sad. it is the death of the family. john piper said the following about marriage; "And therefore the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married." we are destroying the covenant of our relationship with CHRIST when we end our marriages.
my parents divorce is in my top 5 of the worst things that has happened in my life. it took years for me to deal with it. i still have days where it makes me sad. the funny thing is now i look at my parents differently because of it not in a bad way i just realize as i get older that they are human. i don't believe they should have stayed married. i would not have gotten a beautiful sister and brother if they had.
marriage is very hard. you are constantly having to work and nourish it. things that were ok at the beginning sometimes change, and you have to work it out some how.
my husband and i have had battles that most individuals would not have stayed to work out. our commitment to each other and our children is what drives us. there have been times where we have thought about just getting out; it was too hard. GOD got us through and we have read ephesians 5 a lot. you have to nourish it just like you do in your relationship with CHRIST.
in proverbs there is a verse that says fools sit and wonder, while wise men ask questions. i am asking this question then; if we cannot sustain the family and the covenant of marriage then how do we expect the world not to be corrupt with sin? if GOD sees marriage as HIS holy covenant and we keep breaking it then how can we judge what is wrong with society?
i'm not a marriage guru, or know all about it but do know that marriage is not something to take lightly because people think it is going to be a fairytale. my husband and i still have issues that never seem to get resolved, and things that drive each other crazy. we still wake up though everyday knowing that we love each other and we're in this life together.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ephesians 5:21-33
the word commitment just doesn't seem to matter anymore. we aren't willing it seems to push forward no matter how hard it is. so many have seem to lost their integrity. we play the blame game instead of sitting down and working the problem out. even our relationship with CHRIST seems to be too much work.
fear of going against what society, our friendships, or what our families think is what drives most of us. take for instance our relationships - marriage. i do not pretend to understand what happens in marriages that end in divorce. some are really bad marriages; emotional and physical abuse should not be tolerated and i don't think GOD would condemn you for getting out. HE wants you to be safe in spirit and mind. for others it seems that we are seeking something from our spouses that they cannot give. true joy comes from CHRIST. the peace in your heart and mind comes from HIM.
divorce has caused me great judgement in others and that is my issue. i am a child of divorce. it's not that i think badly of someone, it's just that i wonder what happened and it makes me sad. it is the death of the family. john piper said the following about marriage; "And therefore the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married." we are destroying the covenant of our relationship with CHRIST when we end our marriages.
my parents divorce is in my top 5 of the worst things that has happened in my life. it took years for me to deal with it. i still have days where it makes me sad. the funny thing is now i look at my parents differently because of it not in a bad way i just realize as i get older that they are human. i don't believe they should have stayed married. i would not have gotten a beautiful sister and brother if they had.
marriage is very hard. you are constantly having to work and nourish it. things that were ok at the beginning sometimes change, and you have to work it out some how.
my husband and i have had battles that most individuals would not have stayed to work out. our commitment to each other and our children is what drives us. there have been times where we have thought about just getting out; it was too hard. GOD got us through and we have read ephesians 5 a lot. you have to nourish it just like you do in your relationship with CHRIST.
in proverbs there is a verse that says fools sit and wonder, while wise men ask questions. i am asking this question then; if we cannot sustain the family and the covenant of marriage then how do we expect the world not to be corrupt with sin? if GOD sees marriage as HIS holy covenant and we keep breaking it then how can we judge what is wrong with society?
i'm not a marriage guru, or know all about it but do know that marriage is not something to take lightly because people think it is going to be a fairytale. my husband and i still have issues that never seem to get resolved, and things that drive each other crazy. we still wake up though everyday knowing that we love each other and we're in this life together.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ephesians 5:21-33
Monday, June 6, 2011
should i write the blog, or not? too offensive to individuals
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
we all have secrets. we all have things that we want to bury inside that we are afraid to show about ourselves. we don't want the world to see our faults. our battles are the key to what sets us apart. what if the battle is whether or not you believe in the power of GOD. what if we are wrong and we don't accept HIM into our lives, but still go to heaven? what if we just live each day to the fullest without any regard to how we are living it, and then HE is there to confront you about it?
how do we change our hearts? i could say how do we change some one's heart, but we can't do that only GOD can. i'm not scared of scripture, but more about the reaction of scripture to others in all of these years of reading it. i have been testing myself lately and my faith in HIM. i want to make sure that i do have the strength to fight for HIM. i find that i can fight my MS a lot easier than i can defend scripture. i don't think i'm as strong as i thought i was.
this new phase, or whatever i am going through is actually kinda driving me crazy. i have been a little overwhelmed with life lately. i don't know what is going on with me, but i'll get through it. i'm searching for so much more, and believe it or not HE is giving it to me. i was too sheltered in my walk - i wasn't leaving the comfort zone of my church. my fear is if i leave it too much will i be able to serve HIM in my life.
every time i write a posting i put it on facebook. the first time i did it i was terrified. i was so afraid of the backlash of it. each time i post it i'm afraid. i think that when you know people from 20 years ago you assume that it is still them and they haven't changed. i just found that HE had been missing in my heart. i think though the fear of being judged by another for our beliefs is a much stronger fear than just letting HIM in. i find that individuals that don't believe judge just as much as the ones that do believe. it's people that turn us from GOD not HIM.
the idea that you are a "perfect" person is false. the only perfect person that has walked this earth is CHRIST. we put so much pressure on those that are christians to be perfect and we shouldn't. christians judge others far too harshly that haven't accepted HIM. the question really should be why haven't they or why are we so intent on judging others around us? if it feels so right why would we ever try to justify it to anyone? if you believe that it is the correct way to live then why would you care so much about defending it to another? that's what i wonder.
do i believe that we will go to heaven without accepting HIM; no. do i believe that we will fail time and time again; yes. i don't know what's worse; not being humble enough to admit that you fail, or that you think that you don't. my heart is whole because of HIM. no one has done that for me including my husband. if we need validation, or need to feel all the time that our life is worthy from others than maybe it's you that isn't content. GOD knows your heart.
always question, always search for the meaning behind what the church or another christian is saying to you. read the bible and learn the words for yourself. when i was first diagnosed a christian told me that the devil had given me this disease and that's not true. CHRIST gave me this and i know why HE did. question your battles, because HE just may be trying to show you something about yourself that you have chosen to be blind to.
"6 Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7 For we live by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad." 2 corinthians 5:6-10
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." matthew 7:21
we all have secrets. we all have things that we want to bury inside that we are afraid to show about ourselves. we don't want the world to see our faults. our battles are the key to what sets us apart. what if the battle is whether or not you believe in the power of GOD. what if we are wrong and we don't accept HIM into our lives, but still go to heaven? what if we just live each day to the fullest without any regard to how we are living it, and then HE is there to confront you about it?
how do we change our hearts? i could say how do we change some one's heart, but we can't do that only GOD can. i'm not scared of scripture, but more about the reaction of scripture to others in all of these years of reading it. i have been testing myself lately and my faith in HIM. i want to make sure that i do have the strength to fight for HIM. i find that i can fight my MS a lot easier than i can defend scripture. i don't think i'm as strong as i thought i was.
this new phase, or whatever i am going through is actually kinda driving me crazy. i have been a little overwhelmed with life lately. i don't know what is going on with me, but i'll get through it. i'm searching for so much more, and believe it or not HE is giving it to me. i was too sheltered in my walk - i wasn't leaving the comfort zone of my church. my fear is if i leave it too much will i be able to serve HIM in my life.
every time i write a posting i put it on facebook. the first time i did it i was terrified. i was so afraid of the backlash of it. each time i post it i'm afraid. i think that when you know people from 20 years ago you assume that it is still them and they haven't changed. i just found that HE had been missing in my heart. i think though the fear of being judged by another for our beliefs is a much stronger fear than just letting HIM in. i find that individuals that don't believe judge just as much as the ones that do believe. it's people that turn us from GOD not HIM.
the idea that you are a "perfect" person is false. the only perfect person that has walked this earth is CHRIST. we put so much pressure on those that are christians to be perfect and we shouldn't. christians judge others far too harshly that haven't accepted HIM. the question really should be why haven't they or why are we so intent on judging others around us? if it feels so right why would we ever try to justify it to anyone? if you believe that it is the correct way to live then why would you care so much about defending it to another? that's what i wonder.
do i believe that we will go to heaven without accepting HIM; no. do i believe that we will fail time and time again; yes. i don't know what's worse; not being humble enough to admit that you fail, or that you think that you don't. my heart is whole because of HIM. no one has done that for me including my husband. if we need validation, or need to feel all the time that our life is worthy from others than maybe it's you that isn't content. GOD knows your heart.
always question, always search for the meaning behind what the church or another christian is saying to you. read the bible and learn the words for yourself. when i was first diagnosed a christian told me that the devil had given me this disease and that's not true. CHRIST gave me this and i know why HE did. question your battles, because HE just may be trying to show you something about yourself that you have chosen to be blind to.
"6 Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7 For we live by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad." 2 corinthians 5:6-10
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." matthew 7:21
Thursday, June 2, 2011
the american dream
i may have called another posting this, but i don't remember and i didn't go back to check. it's funny as you get older you realize certain things that matter and other things that don't. i read a posting about the 5 things people regret before they die and it got me thinking about what we would all regret in the long run. everyday i read scripture, or i read something that GOD has inspired another to do.
the american dream now seems to just be able to stay afloat. the labels that we put on individuals and their economic status really doesn't matter to me; we are all in trouble now. over the last few months i have been thinking more and more about my grandparents and how the depression affected them. i'm starting to get it.
when i was a teenager i remember looking at my parents and really thinking they were a money tree. i hate putting it that way, because that just shows how selfish i was. i did not grasp the complexity of just living everyday. my dad used to tell me to save enough money, so you could live 3 to 4 months if you lost your job. make sure you always have something to tide you over. now he says at least 9 months to a year. even now i wonder if that is enough.
i admire our founding countrymen not just because of their beliefs, but what they truly wanted this country to be about. we often just think this country was founded so individuals could worship freely, but we don't think about they were trying to end such high taxation from britain. the government was literally taking food from their tables. that's the way i look at it right now in our current state of affairs. i don't see it as having to give up my luxuries, i see it as the government wanting more from the individuals that cannot give it any longer. they are taking food from our tables and our children.
we are no longer a free nation, because we are bound by the slavery of our debts. we lived beyond our means. china owns us - no matter what you think, or lies you've been listening to. we encouraged those that could work to take freely from us, because we felt sorry for them. we encouraged individuals that they were nothing if they didn't have everything their neighbors had. the prosperity gospel is not just in churches it has become the definition of being an american. we could blame everyone else in the world for our problems, but we did this to ourselves.
GOD talked about money all throughout the bible and the evils of it. HE told us countless times to be good stewards of our money and we didn't listen. HE told us that all men and women had greed in their hearts. HE did not lie to you. all of us have wanted more than we needed - all of us. we have been taught a lie. we have been taught that the prosperity would always be there. when we replace what's important with money we will fail. you will always be a slave to money..debt, worry, anxiety, greed, envy, vanity and fear. that's what HE has tried to tell us.
earlier this year my husband and i thought about buying a larger house. well the bad outweighed the good. we were arguing all the time about it, and then i remember GOD asking me what we were doing. i remember HIM saying, i have given you all that you need and the desires of your heart why aren't you happy? see we thought we needed more and we didn't. HE was preparing us for what is going on now in the economy.
the best advice i can give people is this. college students don't spend more than you have. young married people you are not in the same economic status as your parents just because you don't have children now you will find out just how expensive they are. people with kids remember you have to provide them with food. GOD instructed you to care for HIS children above yourself.
one of the 5 things a dying person said they regretted was not spending enough time with family and friends, because they were a slave to money. we are emergency mode now, our hearts and souls need some serious changing. you are worthy because you are one of GOD's children, not because of money.
there are over 250 verses in the bible regarding money. the one verse we should probably remember is GOD will provide you with food, clothing, and shelter - nothing more, nothing less when you believe. HE will provide you with all your needs.
the american dream now seems to just be able to stay afloat. the labels that we put on individuals and their economic status really doesn't matter to me; we are all in trouble now. over the last few months i have been thinking more and more about my grandparents and how the depression affected them. i'm starting to get it.
when i was a teenager i remember looking at my parents and really thinking they were a money tree. i hate putting it that way, because that just shows how selfish i was. i did not grasp the complexity of just living everyday. my dad used to tell me to save enough money, so you could live 3 to 4 months if you lost your job. make sure you always have something to tide you over. now he says at least 9 months to a year. even now i wonder if that is enough.
i admire our founding countrymen not just because of their beliefs, but what they truly wanted this country to be about. we often just think this country was founded so individuals could worship freely, but we don't think about they were trying to end such high taxation from britain. the government was literally taking food from their tables. that's the way i look at it right now in our current state of affairs. i don't see it as having to give up my luxuries, i see it as the government wanting more from the individuals that cannot give it any longer. they are taking food from our tables and our children.
we are no longer a free nation, because we are bound by the slavery of our debts. we lived beyond our means. china owns us - no matter what you think, or lies you've been listening to. we encouraged those that could work to take freely from us, because we felt sorry for them. we encouraged individuals that they were nothing if they didn't have everything their neighbors had. the prosperity gospel is not just in churches it has become the definition of being an american. we could blame everyone else in the world for our problems, but we did this to ourselves.
GOD talked about money all throughout the bible and the evils of it. HE told us countless times to be good stewards of our money and we didn't listen. HE told us that all men and women had greed in their hearts. HE did not lie to you. all of us have wanted more than we needed - all of us. we have been taught a lie. we have been taught that the prosperity would always be there. when we replace what's important with money we will fail. you will always be a slave to money..debt, worry, anxiety, greed, envy, vanity and fear. that's what HE has tried to tell us.
earlier this year my husband and i thought about buying a larger house. well the bad outweighed the good. we were arguing all the time about it, and then i remember GOD asking me what we were doing. i remember HIM saying, i have given you all that you need and the desires of your heart why aren't you happy? see we thought we needed more and we didn't. HE was preparing us for what is going on now in the economy.
the best advice i can give people is this. college students don't spend more than you have. young married people you are not in the same economic status as your parents just because you don't have children now you will find out just how expensive they are. people with kids remember you have to provide them with food. GOD instructed you to care for HIS children above yourself.
one of the 5 things a dying person said they regretted was not spending enough time with family and friends, because they were a slave to money. we are emergency mode now, our hearts and souls need some serious changing. you are worthy because you are one of GOD's children, not because of money.
there are over 250 verses in the bible regarding money. the one verse we should probably remember is GOD will provide you with food, clothing, and shelter - nothing more, nothing less when you believe. HE will provide you with all your needs.
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