A couple of weeks ago I had a support group in my home for women that are suffering from a chronic illness. I hadn't picked up everything yet before my sons came home, and my youngest son asked me what the plates and tablecloth were for. I explained to him that I had a group over that talks about their illnesses. My oldest son said, but Mom you aren't sick anymore. I told him that I was still sick and that never went away even after I had my medicine through an IV. He then asked the question that I am sure many, many people have asked; why hasn't God healed you if he can do everything?
I had to tell him God does not heal all things, because he has a purpose. I was surprised that he didn't ask what that purpose was, but I am sure one day he will. I have asked God many times what the purpose is of me having this terrible disease. That was a hard day for me. I realized that at some point in time if not already my oldest would either be very angry with God or would resent him for allowing my MS to still exist. He will probably feel both at one time or another. I pray that both boys will have great compassion and empathy for people; we don't always know what another is suffering. I also know at some point in their lives they will be very angry with him because of it.
I don't know if you have read C.S Lewis's book "The Problem of Pain," but he talks about the pain and suffering that we go through as Christians; as humans. He made a point that so many view God as a grandfather and not a father. We want God to be the grandfather that's sole job is to make us happy and when he doesn't we don't understand. God is the father that tells us the reality of our hearts; the good and the bad.
We have great fear of sharing the suffering we are going through. I have great fear of not being able to walk, to hold my husband and children, and not to be able to care for them. I am constantly plagued with fatigue and pain, all day, every day. We don't want to feel as though we are failures to others and God. I sometimes won't say anything at all, because I would rather not hear a condescending tone about how happy I should be all the time.
Even as I write this I think about how my suffering is nothing compared to those in the middle east. They are being crucified, beheaded and buried alive for their love of Christ. It almost shames me to hear that we don't have the time to seek out each other, or confront each other's suffering for even a minute. The reality of being a saved child of God is that we are connected through the holy spirit, but we are afraid of the side of God that does allow pain and suffering.
Last week a friend went home to God. The circumstances in her death have shocked those that knew her. We will all go through periods of sadness, anger and the inevitable question of why. If we are children of God, professed Christians, but ignore the sufferings of a sister or brother's heart are we failing him? I think the answer is yes.
"A Prayer of one afflicted, when he is faint and pours out his complaint before the Lord. Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you! Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call! For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread. Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh." Psalm 102:1-5
