1 Corithians 13; 4-7

1 Corinthians 13; 4-7 in my opinion is one of the most misunderstood verses in the bible. The entire book is the letter written to the Corinth church by Paul regarding their falling from god’s laws. The church had become “worldly.” They didn’t break away from the old, and they incorporated a lot of the pagan traditions of society into their church.


The love verses have probably been read at every wedding we have attended; including mine. These verses can be applied to your marriage, because God saw marriage as one of the ultimate sacrifices to him. I know that sounds bad when I use the term sacrifice, but when we really think about it marriage is a sacrifice. We are sacrificing ourselves for another just as we would sacrifice ourselves for God out of love. These verses are how God loves you, not man’s definition of love.

This section of verses is more about rebuking the church for the lack of love behind their motives to the congregation. In every act we are not to use love as a control method over another. They were using the love of God behind their motives to gain certain control over the congregation, and played favoritism. They essentially were trying to play God with it. This is a great book for what is currently going on in a lot of the churches, and our government. They have turned this verse into almost a form of the prosperity gospel, and pretty much a guilt trip for a lot of people.

We are to love the church as God loves the church, but God does not manipulate individuals. This is one of the hardest concepts for Christians to understand, and deal with. We are to love to one another, but even love can become corruptible. If we do something for another out of love and that relationship becomes difficult or ends we turn this love into resentment, or bitterness. We think well I did this for you, so you should feel guilty for not doing what I want you to, or living how I want you to. That is what the Corinth church was becoming and Paul was calling them out on it.

I think in marriages we have done these things to each other at one time, or another. Parents do this to their children all the time. Friends do it to each other. The biggest culprit of this is the government right now. They are abusing the love of this nation against people. If we amass great amounts of wealth we are made to feel guilty for it. If we are not showing constantly who we are giving to then it is assumed that we don’t give. If we choose to do something in our life that benefits our family, but others can’t see if we are giving to charities then we are bad people. I should say that we aren’t willing to give our tax dollars to every program, or every individual.

My parents are polar opposites. This was hard growing up. My dad as kind as he is can guilt trip you into anything. My mom is the complete opposite. If you tell my dad no he gets angry, or he looks so sad that you end up changing your mind. When I tell my mom no that is the end of it. I don’t feel guilty anymore when I tell my dad no. This is the hardest concept for adult children to understand I think. We want to honor our parents, as we should, but if it goes against God, or your spouse it shouldn’t be happening.

My husband and I are different givers in  most ways. We give differently to individuals. We give differently to each other. I like being by myself, and he is not that way. I love being with my husband, but I do not have to be him with all the time. It is the same with my children. I have had to get over the guilt of needing time by myself. I have also had to realize that I can’t always do that to my spouse or my children. I love them dearly, so that means I will sacrifice for them. That is the relationship we are to have with God, because he comes first.

The fires in this state were one of the greatest lessons I learned. That week actually ended up being terrible for my husband and me. During one of the greatest acts of generosity I have ever seen from a community to another it ended being one of the hardest weeks for me emotionally. I can be hard to deal with because of my beliefs. I believe what I believe, and I very rarely waiver on them. I convict myself constantly to study scripture and politics in this country because I want to understand it, and learn from it. I am constantly asking myself what I can I learn from this?

The motive behind the donation drive for the fires was this; our neighbors needed help and we could do it for them. That whole week I was praying that my heart and my mind would not become tempted with anger towards those I knew could give financially, or physically. I had to constantly keep that in check, because then the act would become corruptible. He would hold me accountable for it no one else. He put a test in front of me to see if I really would give up something for him. I did. It was hard, and I sure didn’t win a popularity contest for it. I know what I did that was wrong, but once it was done it was done. It was too hurtful to my husband and me.

I have a friendship that I have had for almost 17 years. We have fought, we have been kind to each other, we have expected more from each other than what we could give, we have forgiven each other, and we have used guilt on each other. The funny thing is we are still friends. It is what is. I don’t think we have ever judged each other for it. We always end up giving each other the space we need to get over our issues.

Each individual that has made an impression on our lives was there for reason, or is still there for a reason. God puts people in your life so that we grow in our relationship with him. It can be good or bad. That is the truth.The trials or blessings he give us are to make us stronger with him. This is the hardest concept for individuals I think that truly love God. We think we have to continue a relationship with another because of love for them. We haven’t stopped loving them, but if they are hurtful and damaging to us and go against him he doesn’t want them there. We think we have to give when he doesn't even want us to unless we really want to, and we feel led to do that. Christians should not feel guilty about having to stop giving more of themselves than what they can. 

Paul was given a job by God to bring people to him and to hold them accountable. That is it. God gave him these instructions on the road to Damascus, and Paul delivered. I do not think this was easy for him. He was hated by people because of this. To be honest I don’t know how he did it, but he did it. This man is one of my greatest heroes and mentors. I just can’t learn enough from him. He holds me accountable to my actions, and keeps me in check. I have committed every one of these sins below, and I abused my love for another to make them feel guilty for it.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. “ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Israel has lots and lots of Oil

I have started thinking about these wars and why we are in still there after 10years. What are we really gaining from this? The biggest response to this question by our leaders is that we are trying to spread democracy. After 10 years wouldn’t these individuals that truly wanted democracy and peace been able to achieve that?

We accomplished the mission after 9/11 quite well. We should have come home then. We made it very loud and clear that we would retaliate if we were attacked again. We could have found Bin Laden at home through our intelligence. The Clinton administration knew for years where he was. Pakistan knew where he was all this time. Why hasn’t the United States cut ties from Pakistan? Why is there a sudden push for us to be so tolerate of Islam and Palestine? Why?

I’ve heard it say on more than one occasion that after all Israel has been through they should be accepting of Palestine and it’s requests of peace. Goliath was a Philistine living in what is modern day Palestine. God chose David to conquer Goliath. I don’t think that scripture has changed, and I don’t believe God’s chosen have changed.

I don’t believe we will ever leave the Middle East because it has something we desperately need and want; oil. We are not going to give that up. Environmentalists and the EPA are pushing for even more regulation on the energy industry in this country. Our president has slowed the permits to almost a standstill now of oil production. Why would we want to use our own resources when we could get it from others? Gas and energy prices would go down immediately if they upped the production in this country. Thousands of jobs could be created just from that. Why wouldn’t our president and leaders what this? We have the technology and innovation to improve the environmental impact of this.

If they are saying we cut our dependance on foreign oil why aren't we drilling. If we continue to enforce more regulation on the oil companies they are not going to stay. If we can gain control of the Middle Easts oil reserves we have the control. So who is next? Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Iran, so which one is target? Most signs are pointing to Iran.

The below is an excerpt from an article in Israel Nation News regarding what they have found in Israel. The article was written in June of this year. When I read this in June I didn’t pay much attention to it at the time. With presidential debates heating up I keep thinking what are these individuals to bringing our troops, and ending the wars. Most of them have said we can’t make that decision until we see high security clearance. They always bring up Iran, and I always think “shouldn’t we have troops here to protect us on our own soil?” Whether want to believe it, or not Iran will have a nuclear weapon if they don’t already. They want us dead, but most of all they want Israel gone. Their own leader doesn’t even believe the Holocaust happened.

“Israel also may be sitting on huge shale oil deposits, and the Israeli Energy Initiatives company hopes to launch a pilot project by the end of this year that will lead towards production of 50,000 barrels a day, one-fifth of Israel’s consumption. Oil shale deposits cover 15 percent of the country, according to estimates of the Infrastructures Ministry, which would place Israel as having one of the largest oil reserves in the world. The World Energy Council estimates Israel's shale deposits might contain up to 250 billion barrels of oil, almost the same amount of proven oil reserves in Saudi Arabia.” Israel Nation News

There is a prophecy in the bible that all nations will go against Israel. We can either believe biblical prophecy, or not. The above makes you think though it could be true. We have all the signs. God was very clear in scripture what would begin to happen. Do I believe the “end of times” is near; I don’t know. Christ made it very clear that we would not know, but God would begin to warn us.

Chapter 37 of the book of Ezekiel describes the valley of the dry bones; Israel. They face great trials and tragedies in the coming years. The greed of the nations is playing out before our very eyes and it all points in one direction; oil. We could manufacture and grow almost every product that we import from around the world. Why in the world wouldn’t we do that? This would solve a lot of economic problems right now.
If we are supporting a new regime in the name of peace for fallen dictatorships across the Middle East we should be wondering why. Most of the factions there have very limited resources, but are willing to kill to gain control. Just think if they had the greatest army in the world as their backing; the United States military. If we continue to fight these wars then we can have control over these factions, and then we would have control over of the oil.

Afghanistan has oil reserves estimated to be at 150 million barrels. That's why we are there. This is why our current president is willing to show that he does not support Israel. He is the only one to actually go against them openly. The rest of them like the cowards they are pretended to seek peace between Palenstine and Israel. We are killing innocent men and women for this. We are using our military for this. We should be asking the question to all individuals in Leadership, the EPA and environmentalists groups are we reallt willing to kill our citizens over the production of oil? Are more willing to save tree over a human life. We can always grow another tree, but once that life is gone it's gone.  I pray that this is not true, but the facts are starting to pile up.

One of the links below is from 1998. It is a letter to Dick Cheney regarding a pipeline in Afghanistan. This company they found out gave huge amounts of money to Bin Laden and the Taliban. What have we done? What have we been ignoring? The social issues don't matter is this what our government is really doing to our citizens, and all of those that I have lost because including Middle Easterners. This just be theory. I don't if i'm right about this, but it starting to make a lot of sense. There is always a motive behind individuals actions - always.
http://www.businessinsider.com/afghanistan-may-have-disco-2010-8


http://whatreallyhappened.com/WRHARTICLES/oil.html
http://www.esvbible.org/search/Ezekiel+37/

34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’[c]
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10 34:39

The Truth Will Set You Free

Michael Berry yesterday on his show said that politics has become a sport. We watch our politicians’ spar it out over policy like it is a game. Of course there are benefits to those that score the most points. Unfortunately they are sparring over our lives, and it is not entertainment. Our life should not be a sport. At least with sports we can choose which team to be a fan of, or spend our money on. Most of us don’t seem to have a problem with how much athletes make. I think it is crazy how much they make. I think the NFL’s little protest was the biggest show of greed I have ever seen, and no one said anything about that. Here is the thing though that is their provocative if they think they deserve that.


I have been paying attention to our governor during these debates and he doesn’t look so good. Governor Perry is an interesting man. Over his career he has changed his views about government involvement in people’s lives. He started out as a democrat. The Democratic Party is not the party that it was in the 1960’s. It is now the party of the 1960’s generation of liberal minds that’s actions show control more than benefit in my opinion. A lot of republicans are the same. George Bush was a little too progressive for my liking. They want to control us through compassion, empathy and guilt.

There are two issues that they attacking big time in the debates against Perry; immigration and the HPV vaccine. I don’t agree with the way he handled the execution of the vaccine. It was an abuse of power which he has admitted to. I do however agree that should be mandatory. The truth of it is whether parents want to believe it or not is that 12 year old girls are having sex. There was an option for the parent not to have their child receive the vaccine. We are required by law that our children are to receive vaccinations before they go to school, and if they don’t they cannot enter. Why aren’t they yelling about that?

We seem to forget that we allow some schools to hand out contraceptives, as well as allow Planned Parenthood to educate our daughters if they are not comfortable talking about it with their parents. This is the fault of the parent not the government, but if the parent is not willing to discuss this with their child then someone else is going to have to do it. My parents were very open about HIV and birth control. I had sex early and it is regret. Sex is very damaging to a young woman when she uses it as a way to feel good about herself. Young women need to understand that you are still maturing as an individual. You have to be secure in yourself to connect emotionally with someone else through sex. This is why God was so adamant about waiting until we are married to have sex.

As parents we have to confront this issue and not ignore it. He pushed the vaccine as a law because it prevented cervical cancer that a woman could lose her life over. What if it was a vaccine for AIDS? Would you take the vaccine to prevent the possibility of dying, or would you risk your child’s health because we don’t want to admit that our child may be having sex? If he took money from them for it and they think that is the only reason then they need to look every politician in office right now, including every president that has ever served.

Immigration is going to be a problem no matter what, because we cannot agree on how to reform it. Texas has a long history of working well with Mexico. The individuals that are arguing about this have no idea what it is like to live along the border of Mexico. The biggest issue that we have is we house a lot of illegals in our prisons. They obviously need to be deported. We are footing the bill for that in Texas. Our federal government doesn’t want to pay that, but yet they won’t let us deport them because of amnesty laws and human right laws.

The truth that most Americans don’t want to hear, or accept is that Mexicans are willing to do the jobs that Americans find demeaning now. They build our infrastructure; roads, bridges, homes, and work our farms. They build the things we use everyday in this country. Unless we are a lawyer, doctor, or another professional we don’t see it as worthy. What do you do then? That is going to be the biggest question on how we solve this problem. Do you make them citizens through a work program, or do you deport them?

A child is innocent of their parent’s actions. If a child comes to this country illegally because of the parents how do you solve that? Governor Perry has allowed children to attend our schools because he is not allowed to deport them on so many levels. Are we going to deny a child an education because of the ignorance of a parent? This is the fault of the government, but who is willing to deny a child?

The issue that everyone seems to be ignoring is our security. If the drug wars spill over into the United States even more people, including liberals, will go through the roof-tops about why Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and California didn’t do anything about it. What if radicals of Islam that want us dead just come on over? We have decided in this country that we have to be accepting of Islam even after what happened on 9/11. No one is looking at the bigger picture, and that is pretty sad America.

Before we slam the Texas governor people need to look at the bigger picture. I have no idea why he hasn’t dug in his heels and told the truth. Educators in our state have had to be let go because of this, and it should be recognized by the rest of the states for what it is. Our governor did not raise taxes on us in a time of recession. They have just come out that some of the jobs that we created in our state were for illegals. If we can’t deport them because of amnesty and human right laws we might as well put them to work.

If you are on welfare benefits than you need to work for the government. There should be a limit enforced of how long you receive government benefits. We should be forcing individuals to look for jobs in the private sector. The government needs to stay out of the creation of jobs. If you are receiving unemployment benefits then the same rules should apply. The only permanent government jobs we should have are child protection agencies, education, security, military, and senior protection. Term limits for congressman have to be put in place just like it is for the president; two terms and then your out.

Medicare should only be given and received to individuals that have the retirement income of 75,000 or below. Most retirement pensions have insurance benefits. Why are we forcing Medicare on individuals that already have insurance and can afford to pay for it? That is why Paul Ryan’s plan would have worked. Social Security should be removed from the government’s hands completely. Governor Perry is correct when he says that it is Ponzi scheme. That money has been stolen for years by the United States government. Quit lying about the truth of what social security is. It is our retirement money that is be stolen by the monarchy of the federal government.

We don’t want wars, but the truth of it is congress keeps approving the funding. As I recall the democrats won congress in 2006 and still approved the funding. Our president overstepped congress and put us in Libya. What is our president really getting for using our military in Libya? I thought he was going to bring our troops home. How in the world is Governor Perry’s executive order for HPV such a big deal compared to putting our military in harm’s way? People are dying. At least Perry is trying to save young women from dying of cancer. Which way do you want it?

The truth of it is that every single one of them is lying. Career congressmen and women are living off your dime and they like taking your money to pay for their lives. Our president wants your money and his cronies so he can continue to live off of you. Every president and every one after will do it unless we stop it. If you want to live in a dream world and assume that the individuals looking out for you are fine then do it, but quit slamming every individual that is willing to put a stop to this fraud.

If you think the tea party is racist because they want a budget and they want congress to uphold the constitution you are living in denial. They do not care that Obama is black. His policies will destroy this country, and those that support him are doing the same thing. We need to get our heads out of the fog. What amazes me is that we condemn dictatorships, communism, and monarchies in the world but we are living that in our own country. We think we are free, but really are not.

If you think that we should tax the rich more I am going to convict you to have the guts to go up to a person that you know is wealthy and ask them to pay for your life. Tell them to their face that you want them to pay your mortgage, pay your bills, pay for your food, pay your healthcare bills, pay for your vacations, pay all of your child’s expenses, pay for your clothing, your cars, etc. Go ask them to their face to support you if you believe they should pay more. This is what the Democratic Party and our president is asking of the rich.

I will probably lose friends over this posting on face book and I have already lost one that I assumed was a friend. It really doesn’t bother me, because I care about this country and God. I believe in the citizens of this country and their hearts. If we want accountability of our politicians we will have to face them head on. We employ them, not the other way around. We are their bosses. We are Americans and our differences is what makes us beautiful. Please allow that to prosper as it always has. If we do not stop this our children will suffer and they already are. The truth will set you free no matter how hard it is to face.

If we continue to allow these things to happen then we have no one else to blame but ourselves. I know that our citizens have strength in their hearts to stand up for it is right. I know they do they just haven’t realized it yet. God made you to live and stand up to tyranny. One of the greatest lessons he teaches us is not to back down when it gets tough. I was put in position a few weeks ago where I almost stopped out of fear from another about what I believe. That will never happen again. I should never be put in a position where I have to defend our life. We have an incredible life and we have worked hard for it. My husband and I may have our faults, but we would be willing to give everything we have for our children and for those we love and care about. I was made to look like I was an awful person and that is not true. That’s probably what hurt the most.

The Very Powerful Weapon of Guilt

Before you read this I do not want you to think that this is a guilt posting about you. If it comes across that way well YOU CHOSE to read it. Also, if you do feel guilty that is your issue not mine. If it offends you I am sorry that was not my intention, or motive. Scripture is offensive because it holds us accountable for our actions and words. I am writing it because it is my opinion alone, and I care enough about people that I want them to truly see what it is being asked of them and what they are asking others to do.

Guilt is a powerful weapon in this country. We use guilt for everything when we are trying to get something from someone. We put a lot of guilt on ourselves when we don’t do something that we know in our heart is right. We also know that it would be offensive if we did go against Him. I think for most Christians this is a hard concept for us to understand, and we deal with this a lot. Our hearts are being trained to give all the time, and we when take a moment to do something for ourselves we feel guilt about it.


I attended a study called “deceived” the other night. This particular night was about the book “The Secret.” I’m sure most of us have heard about it, because Oprah promoted it and pushed it. The author has tried to say that it is based on the secret that Abraham was trying to teach us. “If we think it then it will be given to us,” and they used scripture to back it up. This is a just another form of the prosperity gospel. This book is where you are teaching yourself to give into every selfish desire, and sin. She said everything that is bad in your life is not your fault because you have attracted it to yourself, and you should blame other people for it.This is the complete opposite of what Christ is trying to teach us. He wants us to look at our own heart before accusing another. He wants us to reverse the circumstance to what we did wrong, so we can fix the mistake.

Our guilt in this country is ruining us, and it has been for a very long time. Now that it is crunch time we have two opposing sides that are not going to back down this time. The smart thing to do would be to remove yourself from the entire situation, and really think about each one of these programs to see if you would actually give to them.

I am tired of being made to feel guilty for our life, and that is my fault because I allowed it to happen. I really dislike it when people try to use scripture or God in the mix when they have no idea what they are talking about. The truly charitable act would be not taking anything from anyone when you don’t need it. The truly charitable act of our leaders would be to serve our country without taking money for it. If you believe in something so strongly you shouldn’t ask to be paid for it you should want to do it because you care deeply about it.

Every president takes advantage of the American people when they ask for more than what they can give. Every leader that can support their own lifestyle and asks for more from individuals is showing their desire of greed. If this were President Bush asking for more money from us would you do it? We know giving isn’t just about money, sometimes it is just the act of doing something for another. If I heard a presidential candidate say I am not going to take a salary in office while we are in this economic crisis I would probably vote for them.  I have the same question for those that are working for charities. Are you working for your own money or doing it because you really care about the cause?

When we give we are to do it without any benefit to ourselves because we love our neighbor. I expect too much out of people, because I expect a lot from myself. This is my issue. I expect it because I have MS. I don’t want to ever catch myself using that as I excuse for why I don’t do something. I feel tremendous guilt when I tell someone no because I am physically too tired to do it. I feel guilt when I can’t give more than I want to. That is terrible feeling. It is sin.

I want individuals to think about their motives behind something, or why they are doing something they do. Sometimes the best gift we can give each other is the ability to look at the bigger picture and not think about our own heart. If we truly believe in something in this country why aren’t we doing it, but we expect others do it? Words are words. Actions speak far louder than words. Our actions show what are willing to do and what we aren’t willing to do. It can be really good and really bad in the long run.

If we run and hide from our fears we have lost the battle. If we aren’t willing to admit the things below about ourselves then we have lost the battle. This is why scripture is offensive to people; including myself. When we go through a trial what can we learn about ourselves from during that trial?

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2


“James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings. Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:1-27

“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21

“For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it.” James 2:10

The Robin Hood Theory

The redistribution of wealth is the topic of conversation now. When it comes to money people really get crazy; including me. Our president keeps changing the rules of this game. He has gone from an individual that makes 250,000 to 200,000 a year. I have a question though; where does this end? The below is in chapter 19 of the book of Luke. This is interesting to me, because everyone will have a different interpretation of it.


11 While they were listening to this, he went on to tell them a parable, because he was near Jerusalem and the people thought that the kingdom of God was going to appear at once. 12 He said: “A man of noble birth went to a distant country to have himself appointed king and then to return. 13 So he called ten of his servants and gave them ten minas.[a] ‘Put this money to work,’ he said, ‘until I come back.’ 14 “But his subjects hated him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We don’t want this man to be our king.’ 15 “He was made king, however, and returned home. Then he sent for the servants to whom he had given the money, in order to find out what they had gained with it. 16 “The first one came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned ten more.’ 17 “‘Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.’ 18 “The second came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned five more.’ 19 “His master answered, ‘You take charge of five cities.’ 20 “Then another servant came and said, ‘Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth. 21 I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man. You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow.’ 22 “His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow? 23 Why then didn’t you put my money on deposit, so that when I came back, I could have collected it with interest?’ 24 “Then he said to those standing by, ‘Take his mina away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas.’ 25 “‘Sir,’ they said, ‘he already has ten!’ 26 “He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 27 But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and kill them in front of me.’” Luke 19:11-27


Our president’s definition of wealth is different. He has an actual number for it. As you can read above Jesus didn’t care how much you had. You could have nothing in the bank, and it could still be taken from you. This is why this concept bothers me so much. There have to be clear rules to this theory that our leaders are talking about, and us to accept as law.
Are they saying that it is just the individual, or married individuals? Your tax return may say 200,000 because you are filing jointly? Do you separate it then? What if it is a one income household and it is a family of 4, plus they are caring for an elderly parent? What is the bigger picture? It is the Robin Hood theory - steal from the rich and give to the poor. What is our definition of being rich? Just think about the poor when Robin Hood stole from the rich. King John wanted more from the poor because Robin was stealing from the rich. He was a tyrant. What if George Bush had said he believes in “spreading the wealth around?”

I have tried to think of an example of something that will affect each one of us (maybe). I love coffee, because I don’t think I could make it through the day if I didn’t have it. The CEO of Starbucks is convicting other profitable companies in the United States not to donate to any campaign until Washington gets this spending under control. I know some thinks that if you tax the rich more it won’t affect them, but it will. The current costs of your goods and services have tax built into it, as well as, the sales tax on the product. What if it was there for you to actually see?

A cup of coffee costs on average over 3 dollars if you get a “specialty” drink. What if Starbucks capital gains tax goes up, and they decide to charge 3 more dollars for the same drink order, plus sales tax. The actual receipt should say “the extra 3 dollars goes to the United States government thank you for your donation.” Are you going to stop going; probably? What if he decides to shut down the company and thousands of more individuals lose their jobs? Who is going to pay for the redistribution of wealth?

Why is this a good idea? Is it because it is a good deed? Well wouldn’t a good deed be to go to someone that you know is suffering financially and give them the money? Is it because you think it is a sin that one person should amass that much wealth? If anything the above scripture shows is that those that have amassed large amounts are giving back somewhere or they wouldn’t have the wealth.
When our leaders suggest this to us the question should really be; are you giving half or more of your wealth to someone else? When our president says that I really want to see the checks that he has written to those families that are need that he is suggesting that we give to already through taxes. I want to know what he is doing, because if he isn’t doing it then he is hypocrite in God’s eyes.

What are you motives for believing that? What is your in heart that you think that this is a wonderful idea? The donation drive we just did taught me a lot about giving. It wasn’t just the fact that people do give, it also taught me that not everyone wants to do that. To me there is nothing wrong with that. What if I had said to each person that I put the word out to “you have to give because it is the right thing to do, and I know you can give?” How many friends do you think I would have? My friends that know scripture would have ripped me upside and down if I had done that. I would have deserved it if I had done that. I do not give to everyone, and everything that someone tells me about. I promise you.

Here is a question to think about for the day. If you were not obligated by law to pay taxes would you pay taxes to the government for their programs? Remember you can’t pick and choose the programs. You have to give one lump sum that will go to every program, and you don’t have a choice where it goes. Would you still do it?

The Social Gospel

I have never heard this term before. I have only heard the prosperity gospel used when referring to how a pastor teaches its congregation. This makes sense to me now when I was so annoyed when a MSNBC reporter said Jesus would have been a socialist. Then I about came off the hinges when a member of our old church said that Christ would have been one, and the whole book of acts proves it. He is not going to hold the masses accountable. He is only going to hold the individual accountable.


The below is the definition of this gospel that has been taught and is used by our government now. When Roosevelt passed the New Deal it was based on this form of the gospel.

"The Social Gospel movement was a prominent Protestant movement in the late 19th and early to mid 20th century that attempted to apply Christian principles to social problems. Part of the Christian "modernism" trend with a strong emphasis on social justice, the movement was a rival to evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity. In the United States prior to World War I, the Social Gospel was the religious wing of the progressive movement which had the aim of combatting injustice, suffering and poverty in society. In this context, it is seen as having provided the philosophical underpinning for the New Deal. After the war, the movement shifted its focus to the civil rights arena, and later, became outspoken in its opposition to the Vietnam War. With the ascendancy of the Christian right beginning in the 1980s, the Social Gospel agenda declined in the United States, but examples of its continued existence can still be found, perhaps most notably the organization known as the Call to Renewal. Sometimes seen as a branch of Christian socialism, the Social Gospel movement was especially influential in Canada and led many ministers to become active in the socialist movement in the form of the Cooperative Commonwealth Federation and later the New Democratic Party. Social Gospel is still influential in Canada's United Church and in the Anglican Church but has less influence in the United States. It also remains influential among Christian socialist circles in Britain in the Church of England, Methodist and Calvinist movements. In Catholicism, the Catholic Worker movement and Liberation Theology both have similarities to Social Gospel."

Every president, congress or leader since the new deal was probably in one way or another taught the social gospel. It is false doctrine, and there really is no other way to put it. Our president in his smooth speeches is undergoing “class warfare” right now and he is winning. He will win because people see this as a way for us to get out of the economic crisis. He is looking for the biggest donors, and people will agree with him. By the way this is stealing. In the book of James it talks about not showing partiality to another; rich and poor.

"My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? "James 2:1-4



In our culture we envy those that have money, because of what they have and what they are able to do with it. We are made to feel guilty that we are able to afford something that another doesn’t have. Our president is a prime example of being taught this form of the gospel. This is what he believes as a Christian. God doesn’t want you to feel guilty about it. That is a misconception. It is what we are willing to do with His money that matters. If we don’t want to give any of it away that is what’s in our hearts to do. That’s why what our leaders are asking of us is wrong. I have used what I have done for another before against them, and that is big time wrong.

Our government is guilty of this as well as the church and the congregation. If your pastor or priest is talking about how much we are to give, or is seeking out the largest donor to the church; run. If someone in the congregation is doing this to another correct them kindly. It is none of anyone’s business about how much money we are to give, or how we spend it. That is between you and God. This is one of the biggest problems I have with some pastors, church boards and individuals. It is no one’s business what we do with our money - ever.

I have heard stories of church board members trying to control what the pastor teaches, because of how much money that member gives to the church. The most extreme case I have read about was in the book “the devil in pew number 7.” the pastor was killed because he was not willing to teach the scripture the way the “biggest” donor wanted him to teach it.

This type of gospel is a lie, and God wants us to run as fast as we can from the teaching of false doctrine. A short time ago I wrote a blog posting about how the United States government has become our church without knowing about this gospel. I have no idea how I missed this, but that explains a lot about what we have been going through in this journey lately.

This is why we left our church. We knew this was happening but we didn’t have a term for it. Our old church is incredible for individuals that are searching for Him. That is where our journey began and we are grateful for that. The church that we have sought is an Acts 29 church. Those are hard to find now. I admit it. Where we have decided to attend was because of one simple reason: the offering. It is the first church that I have ever attended where there wasn’t an offering plate being passed around. If you want to give you just drop it in the box on the way out. This is reflective of the verse do not let someone see what you give, or do not let the right hand see what the left hand gives.

The other reason is you won‘t feel guilty if you can‘t or don‘t want to. walk around this week and see how many thank you's you are searching for, and how you react will be the true motive behind your actions. i am very uncomfortable with thank you's. i don't do anything i don't want to do, or feel led to do. i don't want to hear thank yous.

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." Matthew 6:1-4


I have terrible money issues. About month ago I started focusing more on our budget again instead of placing my trust in God regarding our money. My sweet friend that takes beautiful care of me when I am sick said this to me years ago. I started worrying about where our money was going instead of thinking he’ll take care of us. Great things have happened since then. I have to constantly keep myself in check about this. I also have to remember that the money we have is because of HIM, and it is not all mine it is also my husband’s.

We needed that. We needed somewhere that it was ok that we have issues that we need to keep working on. We needed a church home where our hearts could keep changing, and growing as an adult. We can feel that we aren’t being judged for it. My husband and I were sitting there yesterday and we realized that if we hadn’t of started this journey we would not be married. We would not have had the conviction, or commitment to stay married. We would have allowed outside influences to come in and pressure us to leave. It would have been a lot easier to run than to work on it.

It is starting to make sense to me now. There are a lot of individuals leaving the church because of this. They are educating themselves in scripture and they are realizing that this is false doctrine. If we are taught these things then why wouldn’t we think it is scripture? We trust that our church leaders are teaching it correctly. Our government is trying to make us feel guilty because of these principles, and it is really sad. Don’t feel guilty that you don’t want to give more. I have stopped feeling guilty about what I have in my life. It was given to me for a reason.

"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”  Luke 6:38

The above verse is not just about money, because God defines riches differently than the world does. God is trying to train our hearts to become better individuals. We are his greatest creation; man and woman. He created us in is image. Think about that and how worthy he thinks we are. Value what he has given you, because he has a purpose for you.


Our goal this week from our Sunday school class is to sit and meditate on scripture. We are to close our mind off; sit, listen and meditate on his word. If we take the time to just read a chapter we can learn something. We are much harder on ourseleves than anyone else could ever be. He doesn't want that from us. He wants us to realize it and stop doing it. If we remove politics from our relationship with him it will probably change how we view the world.

why i searched for GOD

My father and I have had a very rough relationship. We also have a very close relationship. We have never been shy about telling each other the truth about how we feel about something. The problem is that we have caused each other a lot of damage over the years. We both have terrible tempers, and get angry quickly. During an argument in my late teens he said "you know you do need a little Jesus in your life." That really made mad.


I think about how the name God and Jesus can bring such anger out in people. Now that I have actually read scripture, and what God is saying to us it just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know how you use God in a conversation when you don't even know the scripture. The first thought and response if another hears the name is; I don't want to be judged. Well, neither do I. I don't like being called out on the stupid stuff I’ve done. Who likes that? I have tons of issues that I am still working on.

The scriptures that everyone seems to know are; do not judge and wives submit to your husbands. They seem to know these two perfectly without ever actually for themselves. I really wish people would actually read the entire chapter of those verses. It would save a lot of turmoil. It would have even stopped the entire feminist movement, and let men be men. We not supposed another without looking at ourselves first in the mirror. Wives are to submit to their husbands, but husbands are to love their wives as they do Christ. I miss real men. Tough men that are willing to stand up, and are not weepy fools. It’s that old saying that women date the bad guys, but not the good guys. That’s not true always. They just want a man rough around the edges, a loving heart, and a man willing to stand up for them. My husband is that type of man.

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 5:1-7


"Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for he" Ephesians 5:21-23

It is funny how that works now in our marriage. Years ago I wasn't as willing to have him tell me no, and I thought if I did I would be a doormat. I still on occasion I am not so great at it. He laid down the law this week on two things that I have to do. When he is done he's done. Five or 10 years ago I never would have listened to him. How disrespectful to him and his wishes. We are still learning what is OK with each other.

I have four individuals that I have know for years ask I why I started this journey. I remember them asking and what they said. I needed peace, but I didn't know that then. The main reason is because I was pissed at God for giving me MS. I just knew I was punished for my sins. I knew that he was so angry with me for all the crap I had done that He was going to give me hell on earth for the rest of my life. That’s not why He did it at all. My MS has been the greatest gift next to my husband and children that he has ever given me. He gave me something that pushed me to him. He pushed me to look in the mirror, and He still does it everyday.

I have a friend that I’ve known since high school. I dated her brother on and off for years. She called me one night and asked if I wanted to go to a bible study with her. I said yes. I can remember my phone call to her after finding out there was a possibility that I had MS, and she was in shock just like everyone else. I can remember a conversation with her later when I told her God was punishing me for my sins. I remember her saying "no he's not, he doesn't do that."

Last week I made the decision not to post this on facebook any longer. Something happened that was pretty extraordinary. I got emails and phone calls asking me why? My response was it's become too offensive to people. Their response was; "well, they don't have to read it." "We may not comment on it, but it makes us think about stuff." They said "we like that your transparent about your journey and thatyou struggle just as much as we do." Thank you to those that did that, because I let my fear overcome me. I was scared, and I have never really been too scared to post the writings. I have never really been scared to talk about why I believe something. He gives great courage, strength, peace and wisdom when you ask for it.

I will post it, just not as much. I write when I feel led to write. Sometimes I write all the time, and sometimes I don't. I can limit my posts, but I don't have to change my passion for what I believe. I am in this journey with others, and that is all he wants. He wants us to share our lives, because we are one body in Christ. We all have different ways of doing it. I don't verbally have conversations about God with people unless they ask me, or I am comfortable talking about it with them. No one has to read these postings, and I don't want you to unless you want to.

Every word in scripture that we don't like hearing about ourselves is because He loves us deeply. That is all  he is trying to tell us. He would not have made you the person you are if he did not love you. He would not have made me this way if he didn't want me to be this way. He just wants us to recognize what we are capable of; the good and the bad.

Christian

Below is the definition of Christian in the Webster dictionary. It is listed as an adjective about one's relationship, or definition of themselves. I had a conversation about what defines a Christian in someone's life; is it the cross around the neck, cross on the wall, or a fish on your car? We also talked about if you have been a member of the church for a long time does that make you a christian? A new article I read was that we like to "design" scripture, because we are a designer society to fit our lives.


Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus. Relating to or derived from Jesus or Jesus’ teachings.
Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christ likes.
Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.
Showing a loving concern for others; humane.

The term Christian actually only appears in the bible 2 to 3 times depends on the version that you read. The term came from roman times and it stuck. My thought process about this isn't so much about what we are willing to do for another it is more about what we are willing to do for HIM. If we think about it that way it is a little different. If we think well is this what he wants, or I am doing it just to make me feel good on the inside? If we know it to be true in scripture and it is wrong, then it is wrong. I do quite a number of things that are wrong. I am trying to break the habit of calling myself that, because although that is what society defines us as followers of him that is just a label.

About 9 months ago I started feeling uncomfortable in our church. I ignored it, because I was comfortable and I felt that GOD really wasn't telling me that. How I was living was really starting to affect my relationship and faith in HIM. The stress of life was getting to me. I pulled out for a long time, and just went through the motions of living that label. About 8 weeks ago I read a book that changed my thought process with HIM. Since then two events have occurred that pushed me to no longer ignore HIM. HIS patience with me was done. HE had been laying those things on my heart for a long time. Once they happened it was done and I've moved  forward. I couldn't compromise and change scripture to fit my needs and not HIS. Believe or not, when I finally did it and accepted what HE wanted I had peace. That nagging feeling is gone.

Just because we profess our belief doesn't mean we are going to heaven. That is a great lie that churches have taught for a long time, and it is disservice to the congregation. My husband and I only went to 2 churches in our "church shopping." first of all I need it slammed into my head what scripture is really saying, and not just the mushy parts. I have to hear all of it whether I want to or not. If I lose my temper and have anger in my heart towards another I have already lost. HE doesn't care what the offense is. HE is going to hold me accountable for it. I fear HIM way more than I do people.

This bog is offensive to people. My views in politics are offensive to people. I only talk about GOD with others that I know can handle it, and are willing to hold me accountable to scripture. Politics I only talk about with people that have the same passion as me. My dad and I love to talk about politics. We even yell at each other, and we believe the same things. I was going to start a new bog just about politics but a friend emailed and told me I shouldn't do it. She said it will corrupt my heart and pull you away from HIM. She is right so I didn't write it. This is my journey with HIM, and that is why each one of was made to be different.

When I write this bog I write when I feel led to write something. I have written many, many postings that I have never posted. I wrote them out of anger, guilt, or just plain hate. I knew they were wrong so I didn't post it. The individuals that I have in my life are the ones I trust the most. They are willing to tell me when I am wrong. They aren't doing it to hurt me they are doing because they love me deeply. Those are the kind of people you want in your life. Humility is love.  If we are willing to say we are sorry, or to forgive someone that is love. That is courage.

Freedom is when you release your self from what the world thinks you should be, and whom GOD wants you to be. My heart will be a work in progress until the day I die. I know what tempts me the most and he is patient with me. I know he is. The other stuff that I don't realize HE is finding ways to put it in front my eyes. My anger is always going to be a problem for me. Giving too much of myself is always going to be a problem. Getting hurt too easily is always going to be a problem. Putting myself out there, and learning when not to is going to be a problem for me.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

our training

from the moment we come into the world we begin our training to live and learn. parents begin training their children to do the little things, and then we start training them to go to school. for 18 years we train them to become adults so they can go out and live their lives. what an amazing process. our whole lives are training to get to heaven whether we believe in HIM, or not; every knee will bow in to HIM.

"For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” romans 14:11


my husband had offering duty at our old church on sunday. our old pastor is very well known not only in the city, but in the country. he was doing a tribute for 9/11 and the security was tight at the church. a member went up to one of the guards and proceeded to tell the man that they could have spent all of that money on education in our state. just think if we didn't have that security and something had happend. i sometimes wonder if people forget that we are just as a vulnerable as the rest of world now after 9/11. we should be so grateful to those individuals that are willing to sacrifice their life to protect another. GOD gave them this training to do this humbly for others.

last week was huge a learning process for my husband and i in what GOD wants from us; the good and the bad. it was part of our training on living our lives to glorify HIM, and what HE has given us. what we witnessed as a couple last week was by far the most beautiful gift of humanity we have ever seen. it wasn't just the physical, tangible objects that were given it was the prayer and blessings that were given. the verse "love your neighbor as you would yourself" was everywhere around us. what a humbling and beautiful experience.

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself." matthew 22:37


the lessons learned will be with us for the rest of our lives on how we are to live our lives. we have been trained to do HIS job more fully now. i hope and pray that it is the same for everyone that was involved. such beautiful people in the world.

when i first started this journey the bigger picture was not known to me yet. i just read a quote that said that even though we let HIM in our life does not mean that it is going to be easy. i have learned that on too many occasions. I could have lost my faith HIM turned my back on HIM, it has only made me stronger and our home stronger. what MS has taught me about people is that they are good despite any fault they have. what MS has taught me about myself is that i am a good person regardless of any fault i have. what MS has taught me the most is that HE does exist because he gave me a burden that i will always have to face whether i want to, or not. HE will pull through. HE is my constant reminder of what is good and what is bad. i am accountable to HIM only.

there will be no way in my lifetime that i will be able to repay those that have helped me and my family over the years. when i am sick i literally do not have to do anything except get better. my parents work together to get their daughter well. my friends bring our meals, take care of our boys, do our laundry and send prayers up to GOD for healing. these individuals are so loved by us, and are so beautiful . they are the testament to the beauty of what GOD can do in our lives.

i have cried so many times with happiness that GOD gave me these individuals in my life. i look up to each one of these women, and their hearts. i can only hope and pray that i can be worthy enough to be the daughter my parents want, and be the friend to these women that i have been graced to have in my life.

i have a painting in my living room that a friend from high school painted. it is my favorite painting in my house. it is of a woman and her beauty. she is strong, beautiful, courageous, delicate, and humble just in her form. everyday i stare at this painting and i fall in love with it more. i am amazed at my friend's talent to be able to create something so beautiful for me to see everyday.

i will listen to HIM more now about what he wants. i am not going to ignore HIM the way i do sometimes. if HE wants me to do it i will do it. i can't ignore what HE wants in my life just because i am scared of the outcome. fear makes us forget HIM. it is always easier to give into sins then to fight the hard fight. all of these things that are happening around us that are hardships is our training. how we handle it is going to be what matters to HIM. what we are willing to do for another no matter what...that is love and HIM.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." proverbs 3:

5

this is my last posting on facebook for the blog

I have a dear friend now that was not a close friend years ago. When I first met her she could quote scripture just like my grandma. She has the bible memorized. She would quote scripture to me at a time when I really needed it, but I would get so angry when she said it to me. I didn't want to hear it.

My perception of Christians was that they were judgmental of how others lived and they didn't have compassion towards others, or empathy. I thought when you went into a church they could tell that you didn't even know the books of the bible. I thought they could see how damaged my heart was, and how sinful it was. I was in my early twenties then and I just really wanted to have a good time. I didn't completely understand about the world and suffering. I still don't understand it.

I grew up in a great home and was not physically in need of anything. The biggest sadness I had faced in my life was my parent's divorce. It destroyed me on every level. I just could not move past it and took me getting sick for it to happen. My parents are human and they made mistakes with each other, but that doesn't mean that they aren't incredible individuals. They actually worked together this past Friday sorting and packing boxes for the Bastrop donation drive. I am still in shock.

First of all knowing how my parents feel about each other I was so proud of them. Out of sheer love and respect for me they put aside their differences to work together. They both have committed their lives to acts of service; veterans and children. This is a huge testament for me, my brothers, and my sister on how we are to live as adults. Their mistakes are few compared to how they have lived with their hearts.

My husband told me I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am too sensitive. He is right. I am too sensitive. I get hurt very easily. I hate feeling that way. He also told me because of that I am willing to do far more than what is asked of me for another. I have made horrible mistakes over this journey that I will now have to learn from and forgive myself for. I will move forward and not look back, because it is not worth it in the long run. It will only damage my heart. HE just wants us to realize it, accept it, confess it, and let it go.

Politics has now become more of passion than reason. I have slammed our president so many times and have not been supportive of anything that he has tried to do. I don't agree with his policies, because it takes more of individual’s livelihoods. That’s it. I believe in social security, Medicare, Medicaid, education, defense, welfare, unemployment, and affordable healthcare. I just don't believe we should spend more on it until we reform it. Every one of these programs is needed programs. I think all Americans agree that do want these things. We just want them fixed without having our taxes go up so we are forced to give more than we can.

This will be my last posting that I place on facebook. This is has become offensive to too many people. I will no longer post it there. My political posts are going to be very few, because I have realized this is not something people want to think about and that is ok. I believe in GOD and politics, but my acts are going to outweigh my words far more. Out of all the things I learned last week with the donations is that seeing is believing. Acting is HIM. I had to see truly the impact of tragedy to understand HIM and what HE wants. All good things come out of tragedy.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ..." 1 Corinthians 13:1

the great state of texas

we are amazed and humbled by the generosity of others. when we started this process i really just thought it would be my sweet husband and i doing it. what this has become has been an outpouring of beautiful hearts. what an amazing city we live in. it reminds me of the outpouring after katrina and ike hit. we will continue to help as long as we need to.

although, there is devastation around us what GOD is doing in peoples hearts is amazing. whether you attend church or not, whether you believe in HIM or not, what you are doing is HIM. i am little scared and very nervous about today. emotions will be running high.

the greatest sadness on our hearts is knowing that it will take years for these individuals to re-build their lives, and what they have lost. if you have prayed, shared, donated, or given money you have earned a jewel in your crown.

"Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!" Psalm 150:1


pray for us today and for those that we will be meeting. we'll posting pics as we go along and sharing.

GOD BLESS everyone in this great state.

ring of fire

Last night while I was watching the debates I was thinking; how is one man going to solve these problems? It takes a village to solve problems. Maybe we have too many chiefs running around, and not enough Indians. I am in awe of so many right now. My heart is breaking for those that have lost everything, and blessed to see those that are willing to give.


Saturday morning I will be driving with my husband and friends to the fire. I have no idea what to expect when we get there. I already know that this will change our lives forever, and politics has nothing to do with it. I am humbled, sad and just a little annoyed with so many things right now. We are going to Bastrop, because it has been the hardest hit. I have a feeling though that the surrounding areas of Houston are next.

Individuals will argue that our governor should have been here last night. In some ways I agree, but when I looked at him the exhaustion and stress were all over his face. I have been reading stories about the cuts in our fire departments and that is why they can’t contain the fires as quickly. I haven’t heard one word from our president, and it proves in my heart even more that he should not be the leader of this country.

The 10 year anniversary of 9/11 is coming up, and it makes sad that we have gone backwards instead of forward. If it doesn’t affect us and our daily lives we really don’t care. This isn’t just about our relationship with HIM it is about what we have not been willing to give up. This is about all those that we blame for our problems. We can’t even take a hard look in the mirror and realize what we have done, or not done.

When I woke up Tuesday and told my husband that I thought we should take donations down, he said we’ll talk about it. I just decided not to wait. So many times in my life I have said I would give and I didn’t. The thought of men being robbed of their homes, women not being able to protect their children and a child not having clothing or food  just killed me. I can’t get there fast enough to help with as much as I can.

I have had people ask me how I am doing this financially. I am doing this because of one man’s gift to me, and his love for his family. My uncle was one of the most generous men I knew. See, I could have just bought a bigger house, better cars, gone on luxury vacations, and spent it on myself and my boys. If I had done those things it would have been an insult to his memory. We can always make more money.

In the next month I will attend an event to honor him. I have to admit that it will not be easy for me, because of circumstances that happened while he was ill. If I can’t forgive then I have learned nothing from reading scripture. We must move forward and learn from our mistakes.

I am overwhelmed with the generosity of every individual that has donated to helping our state, and these individuals. Amazing hearts all around us. We are sending many blessings up for you and your families. We will be continuing our journey with this for as long as takes to help our neighbors. We have no excuse as a nation to ever ignore another in need, and the government is not going to solve that.

You may be thinking this is a guilt note. This isn’t a guilt note, and if you do feel guilty that will be your issue. I have no problem anymore telling anyone about what is right and wrong. I’m tired of excuses really about most things. Make it happen if you want it, if HE is telling you to do it, do it. I ignored HIS voice many, many times and talked the talk. There is no way that I could not give, because of the tremendous love and support I have had since I was diagnosed.

My husband is worried that I will get sick next week. That’s ok because it is small price for me to pay to HIM.

Thanks to all of you that have taken time out of your life to help me in this effort. I appreciate each one of you. I cannot even express, nor do enough for you. Don’t ever hesitate to ask us for help. We’ll be there for you.

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." colossians 3:17

how we love in the end

What it really comes down to is how we love in the end. I read once that people like to think GOD is their personal assistant. They just wait to see what HE is going to them in their lives when they read HIS words; all the good things. I wish that was true. We like to think we are entitled to HIS blessings without ever really working for it. I get that, and I have done that on more than a few occasions.


We are being slammed with rhetoric about what our financials should look like now since the collapse in 2008. We must buy gold, land, stockpile food and hope that we can live through another wave of money dropping out from under us. Everyone is yelling for more money, because they are in so much debt. I don't  think I have heard one person say, including myself, say we're ok what can we do for you.  I guess we didn’t think about the natural disasters that would come along. I guess we stopped thinking about the increasing threat of a bigger war.

All the people that are shouting their beliefs about right and wrong well i have a question for you; what are you willing to give up for your beliefs? we can argue all we want about who should be president, but in the end is going to be about what you didn't do not the president. one issue in this state that drives me crazy is education. i have heard teachers and parents complain about it. you know what is sick the only thing we are complaining about is what we don't want to give up for it. teachers want more money and benefits. parents want to throw their children off on someone else to raise and educate. shame on us. the real question is what are we as individuals willing to do for it, and give up. personally i don't want a teacher that is only complaining about what they are not getting from the state. when they do that it shows what's really in their heart, and it is not the passion of teaching.

What in the world are we supposed to do? We can’t really plan for a rainy day. We could try and so many did, but then it was gone. The only thing that is constant is HIM. That’s it. We never know what each day will bring us. My anger at politicians and the government is starting to soften. I guess it had to run its course. My writings are my outlet.

We are fighting about what we don’t want to pay for, but I’m starting to think that isn’t really the truth. The truth is we just don’t want to have to take care of these things on our own. We really don't want to take care of our parents when they are elderly. We really don't want to have to provide everything for our child’s education. We don’t really want to pay for our healthcare, because we envy the “Cadillac plans” of those that have worked for it. We don’t want higher gas prices, but yet we want 2 or 3 cars. We just don’t want to have to give up our stuff and what this country thinks we need, or what we think we are entitled to.

I have been getting it wrong all these years about my relationship with HIM. I have been reading HIS words about what HE wants, but not realizing what I would have to give up for it. My own selfishness and greed got in the way. My view on the state of this country is just that; what I didn’t want, or don't want to give up. If I did  have to give up then I would actually have to take some responsibility for my parents and my children.

We are mad about wars, but yet we have forgotten the evil of those that hate us? Have we forgotten what 9/11 was really about; hate. We are told now that we can only have sympathy for Islam. I can have sympathy for those that have been taught to hate, but all that really means is their hearts must change. We can’t change another’s heart. We can only pray to GOD that it will change.

Our lives are not about the blessings we receive it is about what we are willing to do for others. As a mother I am willing to give up my sanity over their childhood years, because in the end I would do anything for them. It is not about me. GOD wants us to love HIM first, but what we are willing to do after is what is going to matter most to HIM. We will stumble and fall. We will face trials that we can’t even understand, or imagine.

My prayer this week is to remember that my life is not my own; it is HIS. My prayer is that if someone blesses me I remember this is not for my glory, or my husband’s. This is for my neighbors that I am to love as myself, and do. I pray that my mind and heart do not go to anger to those that don’t give. I pray that I lose every ounce of selfishness that I have in my heart. We can become a little too puffed up with pride in our good deeds. That is what has happened in this country. It’s not the money it is about the show.

When we do something for someone else don’t expect a thank you, and when we don’t get one don’t get angry about it. Do it because you want to do it without any reward to yourself. Do it because you are willing to give something to another not because someone told you to, or you have to. I sat in that pew for over 8 years listening and thinking about on how GOD wanted me live instead of actually doing it. It makes me sick to my stomach what I wasn’t willing to do for HIM. It doesn’t matter what church we sit in on Sunday mornings. We can worship from anywhere. What is going to matter is why we didn’t do what HE instructed us to do; including myself .

 We have to give up all of the sin of greed, envy, jealousy, pride and self-righteousness. I  pray everyday no matter what that we have the strength to fight it. We are not worthy of HIM, and HE will remind just how small we are. GOD wants us to be better people, because HE gave us HIS SON. What is truly in your heart?

“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

how is your soul today?

How is your soul today? I heard that question from a pastor yesterday. Great question. The pastor was teaching the book of James. I had forgotten how much I love the book of James. My husband and I are searching for a new church home. We have been on this new journey for awhile now. We were just doing what we thought was what GOD wanted from us, and not really seeing. The bigger picture has finally been seen.


Reading or hearing scripture over time can become numbing. We hear it, we know it, but we don’t live it. 2010 was a whole year of not living it, but I was trying desperately to get it back. My whole journey had become just about the acts, and not feeling it in my heart. I listened finally, and stopped for a while. I was missing what HE really wanted, and I wasn’t giving fully to HIM.

Yesterday afternoon I was watching a sci-fi movie about individuals that had been created just for the means of harvesting their organs for research. A group of individualsraised them from the time of infancy; teaching them, nurturing them, and preparing them for their destiny. At the end of the movie two of the characters realized that they could love deeply, but they weren’t allowed to live their lives together. They were told years before that through their art they could get a deferment so they could have a few more years. The truth was that some of the adults in the program were trying to prove that these individuals had souls, so they could put an end to the program.


You would think that I would be for advanced research of MS, but I’m not. I cannot condone medical research that would hurt another life. I am going on almost a year now without having an MS attack. Since I was diagnosed this has not happened. I could say that it was the new MS drug they added, but I am in more pain now than a year ago. I have actually had to take more meds because of the long term damage of the treatments over the years. I finally just in the last month learned how to say no, step back, and say “that just does not feel right.”


By stepping back I awoke from some sort of dream that I had been in. I am grateful for the individuals that helped begin the journey, but in the end I looked around and they all had moved on to search for a deeper relationship with GOD. They are still apart of my life and they are living out HIS word. I asked myself the question; what I am holding on to when I know something is just not right? My gut was telling me to see what was happening right in front of my eyes.

About five months ago I started drinking more after years of not really doing that. It was starting to become my escape. Five o’clock would roll around and I would have a few drinks. My hands and feet burn all the time from my MS. Some days it is unbearable. With the burning my pain intensifies and feel likes torture. I justified the drinking because of that. I felt overwhelmed with my children, so that calmed me down. I knew that it was wrong. I knew that I was going down a path that would hurt me and then ultimately my family. So I stopped. I did it again a couple of weeks ago and the next day I felt physically sick, but the guilt of it was worse. I just have to learn self-control, or just not do it at all.


From October of 2010 this is what has happened that made me pull back. My grandmother died, my uncle died, my dad had to have heart surgery because his stints had stopped working, and we had a huge disagreement with my husband’s family. All of this occurred within six weeks. Pre-ceding these events we had attended a love and respect conference about marriage. Man what a wake up call in the next 10 months. After January more started to happen, and this time God was showing me something that I had been ignoring with our church for a very long time.

If it can't be backed up by scripture it shouldn’t be there. If another Christian from your church is telling you that the church won’t help another, because they are not a member of the church it is wrong. If a pastor is telling you that you can’t discuss a nation that is in great turmoil with other members it is wrong. If your church is asking you for more money, but isn’t willing to cut the un-necessary spending it is wrong. If they fire someone, because of church politics and they are not willing to resolve a “Christian conflict,” but choose to ignore it, it is wrong. I am pretty bitter about this right now, pretty raw in my emotion, but I will move forward from it. I just need a little time to heal.

What is worse is that I allowed it to happen, and just went with the flow. I haven’t been doing that lately. I have been pushing the envelope by questioning things more out there, because I can’t ignore it. I can’t ignore someone’s suffering. I can’t ignore a nation that is hurting. I can’t blame someone else for what is going on when I chose to ignore it myself. The mirage of abundance and prosperity has fallen. We are finding out now that people really didn’t have it all. We are finding out that people are broken. We are finding out now is not the time where we can ignore things any longer.

GOD does not owe you anything. You owe HIM for your life and everything you have life. HE bought you with HIS SON's blood. If you've chosen to ignore HIS words and live another life that is not pleasing to HIM that is your issue. I screw up all the time. I will choose the wrong thing because it is easier, and it doesn't work. I make horrible decisions, and I think that it will work out it end. It usually just gets worse over time. I am taking steps back now and really thinking about something before I do it. I am listening to HIM and choosing to do some of the hard things, because I know is the right thing to do.

19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. 26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.” James 1:19-21

slavery

We define slavery in this country as a white man owning a black man. We fought a war to end it. We fought during the civil rights movement for equality, and we still have severe issues in this country with race. I don’t understand, and I really wish someone could explain it to me. We cannot erase the past, and we cannot change the ignorance of another human being unless they are willing to change their heart.


Martin Luther King Jar is one of my heroes. His words, sermons, passion and the belief that equality could be achieved are a powerful legacy for the United States. I have a question though what if we could change our relationship with Christ with just a few words; He is our master and we are His slaves. What if every Christian saw themselves as God’s slave?

God looks at out hearts not the color of our skin. Why would he have created different colors of skin if He thought we weren’t equal? He looks at each person individually. Every knee will bow before God. I had a conversation with a friend some time ago that is black, and I asked what he thought about race in this country. He told me that he teaches his children that there will always be individuals that are ignorant and racist towards them, because of the color of their skin. I am teaching my children the same thing.

I am tired of hearing those in leadership suggest that the American people are racist because they support the constitution and balanced budgets. I wonder if they are saying that because now someone is going to have to prove to others that can do it, and it has nothing to do with the color of their skin or circumstance. In this country we have paid the price for slavery. We can apologize for so long. It is time to forgive, and move forward.

We have provided equal opportunity laws, discrimination laws, grants, loans, colleges, and even changed an entire race to be labeled “African American.“ What else can we do? Every individual that died in this country for a black man to be treated equally must have died in vain then. I feel sorry for people that they don’t realize what the government is doing to them in “social programs. It is just another form of slavery. They want to own you and control how you live your life, your thoughts, and what they define as righteous.

Every time I hear the word nigger out of a black man or woman’s mouth I cringe. When I was 6 years I heard this word from another individual. I repeated it to my mother. I thought she was going to slap me. She told me to never to say that word, or call someone that word because you are saying a person should be treated like animal. When Obama was elected I thought finally maybe we can move past this. I thought maybe so many in the black community would finally get it that they can achieve everything in the United States if they set their minds to it. Well, that hasn’t happened, because he continues to allow the rhetoric of the individuals in his party and those that support him accuse others of racism.

Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Sheila Jackson Lee, Nancy Pelosi and so many others have said he can’t stuff because he is a black man. Would these individuals even have jobs if they stopped with this crap? They would actually have to prove to the American people that they can achieve more than just pulling the race card.

Definition of nigger in the Webster dictionary:
usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a black person
usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a member of any dark-skinned race
a member of a socially disadvantaged class of persons
“Nigger in senses 1 and 2 can be found in the works of such writers of the past as Joseph Conrad, Mark Twain, and Charles Dickens, but it now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English. Its use by and among blacks is not always intended or taken as offensive, but, except in sense 3, it is otherwise a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry.”

I would like to convict the black community is this country to try and stop this rhetoric. If you think the white man is trying to hold you down then explain to me why there are so many successful black men and women is this country? So many in the Democratic Party, and those in society are telling you that you are not worthy as a man or woman. They are telling that you that you are not intelligent enough to succeed because of the color of your skin. This should piss you off. If you still believe that you are persecuted because you are black then look around you, because most Americans have moved on.

Slavery in the bible is not about black men and women. If you are a God fearing man and woman he’s going to ask why you didn’t think you are worthy enough because you’re black. Do you really think he is going to have sympathy for you because of the color of your skin? If you aren’t willing to prove that you are a man, or woman that cares for their family regardless of skin color that is your own problem. If you aren’t willing to stand up to individuals that think you aren’t capable of achieving success in this country because you are black, that is your fault, not the white man.

John MacArthur’s book Slave is about God owning us; we were bought with his son’s blood. Who would you rather be owned by; God or someone that thinks you are not capable of taking care of your family because you are black? Those in the black community that think they deserve sympathy because of circumstance, and or the color of their skin have not earned the respect of another individual. You are telling others that you aren’t worthy, and you are letting others do this to you. Prove them wrong!

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1