You may have heard the story about a couple that only collected sea shells their entire life. I heard it years ago from a friend. They only collected sea shells and nothing else. When they passed God asked them what they had done with their lives and they just wanted to show Him their sea shells. He kept asking what they had done besides collecting sea shells. They had nothing else to say. What would you want to hear from Him when you go home?
Right before my surgery 2 months ago a friend and I were talking and holding each other. I told her I would want God to say to me that I loved well. That is what I would want to hear. That I loved others and him well. I would want to hear you loved so much that you were willing to tell the truth for me. I would want to hear you loved your husband and children well. I would want to hear you loved your family and friends well.
I have been thinking about the past year. The MS progressed and part of my liver had to be removed. Both forced me to rest and find peace. I no longer think that it is selfish to say I don't feel well (a dear pastor called me out on that one.) I no longer feel guilt for saying I can't do that anymore. I physically and emotionally cannot carry that anymore. God did that for me and I am grateful.
It is a glorious gift to be able to find peace in suffering and pain. It is a glorious gift to be able to yell out "why" to God and have him stand by you. It is a glorious gift that you can be angry and He still loves you. It is a glorious gift to have a father and friend that never goes away once He has you. It is a glorious gift to say I can't fight this sin without you.
In 1 Corinthians 13 the famous love verses are written. Paul explains to the Corinthians what love is and it was not what they were doing. The Corinthian church is a lot like the American church today. We believe God's love is tolerance, indifference, passive, and politically correct. We believe that he would never confront His children for what they do. God loves us enough to tell us what we did wrong, embraces us, and says "go, do not sin anymore."
That verse and I have not always gotten along well. It was when I started to read the verse differently that it began to make sense. It says a lot about God and what we are. We are the sins in that verse and He is the love in that verse. Love is not manipulation. Love is not guilt. Love is not used for hate. Love is not selfish. Love is not used for gain from another.
We are at the time of year where everyone thinks back and starts making resolutions. Are we making them for ourselves or for God? The changes we should make should be for Him alone because it gives Him glory. Our lives should be lived for His glory. I do not believe our nation is headed in the right direction. We are just a nation under God. We are falling for turning our backs on His truth.
The other side is that we may learn to value more. We may learn that we should have fought for what was right. We will know that we had a lot to be thankful for. We will learn that His word and way are the truth, and we can't change it. We may learn that our shelter is a true gift. We may learn that the food we have to eat is an amazing blessing. We may learn the clothing we wear is perfect. We may learn that he provides when we ask.
My greatest gift this year was asked for selfishly. I asked Him to me wake me up after surgery. I boldly said "I love you, but I don't want to come home to you yet." He gave me that, gave me love, and said "you love well."
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; itis not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
