pride: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc
pride is one of my biggest sins. i pretend to be stronger than i am. i'm ashamed to admit that about myself. my heart breaks in situations more than others know. i anger easily and judge those around me when i shouldn't. i hide my feelings about what i need, just to avoid rejection. i am horrible about asking for help, or sharing my needs with others. i have truly incredible friends that are always there to help me, but i rarely ask for that help until i hit bottom. my husband sees my pain and you can see the pain in his eyes, because he can't take it away. pride is what makes me not say these things aloud.
there are few individuals that have seen me at my worst when i am having a flare-up with my MS. those that have seen me i love and cherish more than they could ever know. i am ashamed of what the meds do to me physically, how weak i am that i can barely lift my children. when i am sick i am desperate for comfort, peace, loving words, and so very sad. with all these needs i still have too much pride. i deny help from individuals, because i believe that am too strong and i can do all the things that a person without an illness can do. pride, it is evil and damaging; it causes the destruction of men and women.
i think when we allow ourselves to be prideful we forget that we are sinning against the lord. when we do not seek his word, or humble ourselves before others we lose the ability to give fully to those that we love. sometimes we have to let our pride fall and show our vulnerability to the world. GOD knows our hearts and he is the only one that can fulfill that void.
give willing of yourself to those you love, listen to those in need. we all share the sin of pride. each one of us is proud in our family, our work, our home or our friendships. pride is not always wrong when we know where these things come from and praise should be given to the lord for these gifts.
"so, if you think that you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall! no temptation has seized you except what is common to man. and GOD is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." 1 corinthians 10: 12-13
jess-
ReplyDeleteyou are an awesome! pride is a difficult thing for most of us. after reading this, i too feel the same way about asking for help and judging people. pride is a hard thing to look through, but i know that you are awesome and that you can do it!