pain

there are two kinds of pain that we can clearly define physical and emotional. a third in my opinion is that pain that becomes so unbearable to some that it takes the form of an addiction of both. there is a quote from albert einstein that says "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result each time." i think with some of us this is true with our pain.

each one us has gone thru a painful experience. we have lost a loved one to death. we have gone thru a breakup whether it be a relationship, or friendship. we have had words spoken to us that were painful. we have even been the giver of those painful words - this should cause you pain.

when i first diagnosed i had to search thru the pain of having this disease and realize that it wasn't the end of my life, but a new beginning. the first year was by far the most painful of my life. not only did i deal with the diagnosis, i came clean with my own pain, as well as pain that i had committed in my life. i spent over a year talking with a woman that brought all of that pain in my heart to the surface. i was very raw with emotion most of the time, but i also began to heal some of my wounds, or the wounds that i inflicted upon others.

amazing grace is my favorite hymn. i cry almost every time i hear it. some of you may not know the history of this song, it was written by a man in terrible pain caused from the crimes he committed to GOD's children. he was a slave trader in the late 1700's. he spent the remaining years of his life atoning for his sins as a clergyman; giving his life to GOD. i can't even imagine the pain he caused to others, or how he was able to even forgive himself. i don't know if i could have.

here is a description of how you can see your pain. it's like a coin in your pocket. you put the coin in your pocket everyday, you can touch it, you can sense it, and you carry it with you. each day you hold on to it, it either gets larger in size and turns to bitterness, or anger or each day you release just a little bit of it and give it to GOD it becomes smaller in size. we can choose to give up our pain, or we can choose to keep it, just like a coin. some of us will always carry the coin whether it be large or small. GOD doesn't want you to continue carrying the coin, HE wants you to give it to HIM.

this is easier said than done for some, but know that the LORD is with you in your pain. HE doesn't want you to suffer, HE wants you to confess your pain. HE wants you to confess your pain to those that may have caused you pain and work thru it. HE wants you to confess the pain you may have caused another and work thru it. just know that some people will never admit they have caused you pain, and some will never accept your forgiveness for the pain you have caused them, but you have to let it go or it becomes a seed of sin.

the most visual and emotional cause of pain in the bible is that of JESUS dying on the cross. what JESUS cried out to the father as he took is last breath is the cause of all the pain in the world. people believe that god has forsaken them, that he's not real in their pain. search your heart, search your soul and know that you are not alone in this life when you go to HIM.

"for men are not cast off by the LORD forever. though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. for he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men." lamentations 3:31-33



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