marriage, oh marriage what a blessing and a trial at the same time

my husband and i met in a bar almost 11 years ago. our first date wasn't anything different from many first dates. we went out to dinner, then went to play darts and have a couple of beers. my husband is a very quiet person by nature, so he didn't talk a lot, so i really didn't know if we would go out again. he called me everyday, a couple of times a day; this is the most persistent he has ever been in our relationship to this day.

our second date was different. i was sitting across from him and i realized that i was in big trouble, that i had just met the man i was going to marry. i hadn't really thought i would ever get married. i was scared of marriage; of failing. the other reason was that i am not an easy person to get along with. i am a very opinionated individual and i am very passionate about what i believe in. my husband was like no man i had ever met before, he is by the far the kindest individual i know and the nicest man i have ever had a relationship with.

our marriage i would say is strong, but we have to work at it all the time. there are days where we are so in love with each other we can't stand it. they are days where we just like each other and of course there are the days where we can't stand each other. we have had major ups and downs, so bad that we have discussed divorcing. we realized of course that this wasn't an option for us.

our first year of marriage was terrible, awful i can't even explain how bad we were. i had just been diagnosed with MS and he was layed off from work after 9/11 happened. we were both angry and depressed. we were both lost. i think in some sense we felt abandoned by those that we loved on how we were supposed to get through this. the problem was neither one of us was talking to each other about it. i made a few changes that would in the end save our marriage. i attended a support group for MS and the speaker was a doctor that truly inspired me.

we went to meet her and she basically told us to get our "crap" together. while she took care of my MS needs, she found someone to take care of my depression. during the time of seeing my therapist a good friend invited me to a bible study. this was a major decision for me, i was very angry with god for so many things that i had rejected him for years. another reason was i did not in any way, shape, or form want to be involved in a church with individuals that just merely went to church to say they did it and lived a completely different life from whom they were. the biggest reason was, because i was ashamed of all my sins, but my husband and i needed something.

we fight now about silly things that don't even matter really. they aren't the important things in life. our little habits get on each other's nerves; for example i leave the cap off of the toothpaste, cereal boxes open and i don't do the laundry the way he would like me to (by the way there are so many more).

the amazing thing about my marriage is that we still get through our days together and at the end of the day we still love each other, no matter what awful things could have been said that day. my husband is an amazing man. not many men could handle having a wife that was ill. i realize everyday that he shows our sons what a man should be, what a man should strive to be. he has taken is vow of "sickness and in health" very seriously and i know GOD is glorified by this.

"enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that GOD has given you under the sun - all your meaningless days. for this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun." ecclesiastes 9:9

the only problem i have with this verse is i wish that he had added "your wife and husband" instead.