2 weeks ago i was thinking about not writing this blog anymore. i wrote a posting that was very transparent about my husband's and my journey in marriage. it was a very hard posting for me to write because it admits my failures as a wife, and what can happen if things aren't resolved. since beginning this i have always felt lead to share it with others. i have felt lead to share what GOD does in our lives when we just pay attention to what HE is telling us.
our journey through this life is our own. our journey with CHRIST is our own. the relationship that you have with GOD will be your greatest legacy for those that come after you. who you are is just how HE made you, so the idea that you have to be something different is a lie. HE accepts you just as you are when you come to HIM. when you feel the HOLY SPIRIT enter your heart, HIS wisdom will always prevail and HIS greater purpose will always come out of it. now, since i've been writing this i have been given a chance to share my faith with others aloud.
there are two things in life they say that individuals fear the most; public speaking and snakes. i am terrified of both. it is one thing to sit in a room with others and talk about GOD, it is another to stand before someone that may or may not have accepted JESUS CHRIST into there life. so what do you do? do you go with the political correctness and try not to worry about offending someone, or do you actually say what GOD is leading you to say? that will be my test tonight and i hope that i give HIM the glory that HE so richly deserves.
tonight i will be staring out at individuals that have ms, their caregivers, doctors, nurses and pharmaceutical reps to talk about this journey. i have asked my parents to be there and one of my most cherished friends along with my husband and children. tonight these individuals will see what my testimony of faith is. i have doubts and worries that my perception of the gospel is not what GOD is actually saying. i have anxiety that my passion alone for CHRIST will not be seen. my prayer is that if i can connect with just one over the beautiful riches of our LORD then i have done to the best of my ability what HE has asked me to do for HIM.
my ms is what brought me to HIM and it will always bring me back to him. everyone that has been brought to my life since then has been because of HIM. he gave me a husband that took the vow "in sickness and health" with great grace, dignity and responsibility. i have been honored and blessed by GOD'S strength. this disease brings great humility and great pride. it pushes you to be something bigger than an illness.
you have to be able to admit weaknesses and you have to be able to praise your strengths. this illness has made me question not just myself, but the trials of the world. with my physical limitations i have to push myself in the job that HE gave me to raise my children and be a wife. i have to honor HIM in these gifts, because that is why HE gave it to me. HE has given me something to care for regardless of how i physically feel. i can only do what HE has asked of me, nothing more, nothing less.
tonight i hope to honor those that handle this disease with such grace and dignity. i hope to honor my husband, a caregiver, for all that he has had to endure with this illness. pray for me that GOD will come through in all HIS glory to show these individuals that it is because HIM that we are here.
"though he stumble, he will not fall, for LORD upholds him with HIS HAND." psalm 37:24
"have I not commanded you? be strong and courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD YOUR GOD will be with you wherever you go." joshua 1:9
"consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of CHRIST." romans 10:17
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