friendships

this last week has been a weird one. i have been out of sorts since my trip to indiana. i got to see beautiful friends and family that i cherish. also, my family laid to rest my uncle jerry. it was not easy i must say. the stories all of us told about him were exactly him. i have never known anyone like him, and probably never will.

my uncle and i had some big rough spots over the years. he was gracious enough to forgive me because he loved me. he loved his family dearly and he showed that over and over again. we made sure that when he got sick we could protect him and take care of him. dementia is awful. that was the hardest part over the years of caring for him medically; he was losing the memory of us. watching that was awful, but you have to do that for the people you love and care about.

i've learned a lot about friendships since i got sick. i've learned who were my friends and who weren't. i have learned what individuals can handle and what they can't. i have also learned that some people just want a good time and aren't true friends. i have a very high opinion of my friends. i value the good times, but i also value how they are friends during the bad times. over the years if we are still friends after a fight, or a bad time then we are still friends. i apologize for ever being a bad friend and not being there during the bad times. that is my failure to you.

i have to say it's kinda like the saying just because you go to church every sunday doesn't mean your a christian. well you just because you say your friends with someone doesn't always mean you are a true friend. there is a time where you have friends of different seasons; different points in your life. there are times where you haven't spoken to someone in years, or seen them but you pick up just where you left off before. that is an incredible feeling. a lot of people are going through a hard time right now and it may be one of your friends - be there for them no matter how long it takes.

i thought about how wonderful my uncle was and i realized that i had some issues with individuals on how they treated him in his final years. i thought they were his friends. i can only hope that he didn't want them to see him that way and that is why they stayed away. i can only hope as we get older that we realize how we have failed sometimes at being a friend.

i can't always physically be there for my friends and they know that. i can't always help with cooking meals, laundry or taking care of their kids. this makes me sad because they have done so much for me over the years. i will never be able to show them how grateful i am for that. if you've made a mistake in a friendship own up to it. if they've hurt you in some way try to mend your relationship. life is messy, but how we treat someone will come back to haunt you. one thing scripture is about is how you treat another. HE will remember.


"if one member suffers, all members suffer with it; or if one member is honored all the members rejoice with it." 1 corinthians 12:26

"this is my commandment, that you love one another as i have loved you. greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." john 15:12-13