my failure to my husband

GOD brought me to my knees yesterday, literally. HE slapped me in the face with a very harsh realization about my marriage and how i was failing my husband. my husband and i have very clear, defined roles in our marriage. he supports us financially and i am to care for our home and our children. the demands of these roles have left us physically and emotionally exhausted.

GOD made me realize that this problem needed to be addressed before it got any worse. i need to make some changes as a wife. i need to remember why GOD brought us together in the first place. taking responsibility for your failures in a marriage and not blaming your spouse for them is a big step in the journey. we have to fix ourselves first to make it work.

spouses blame each other for the reasons they are having problems in their marriage instead of looking at themselves first. i asked my husband to do something yesterday that in all reality is against his nature and i was wrong to put such a heavy burden on him. i do need this from him and he knows that,so knowing the heart of my husband he will try his best to do it because he loves me. i cannot ask something of my husband that i am not doing myself.

here's an example of two simple requests that we have asked each other to do that has turned into a 6 year argument. i want him to clean out the garage and he wants me to have someone clean out the air vents in our house. i know you are thinking this is so stupid and it is. first of all, my husband does not have the time to clean out the garage, but i do. second of all, the phone call to set up the cleaning of the vents would probably just take me 10 minutes. now we are bitter when we bring up these tasks to each other so neither one us has done the chore yet. do you see how something so small can turn into something so much bigger?

the above argument is selfishness on both our parts. i should always do the task my husband has asked me to do the first time, not after 100 plus times of asking. i made a commitment to him and i am not living up to my end of the bargain. most of the time our petty arguments are really because of a deeper issue within ourselves and it is not our spouse's fault.

if your heart and soul are sick, how in the world are you going to fulfill your spouses needs? first i need to hold myself accountable for what i am not giving my husband, then i will have the right to ask more of him. i have a lot of work cut out for me.

proverbs 31: 10-31

"though YOU have made me see troubles, many and bitter, YOU will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth YOU will again bring me up." psalm 71:20