friday and saturday night my husband and i attended a conference called "love and respect." GOD's definition of marriage and what your definition may be two different things. our society has changed what scripture has taught us about what it means to be a man and woman, and have a fulfilling marriage.
the funny thing is that the secret to a great marriage wasn't hard to define. a man needs to feel respect and a woman needs to feel love. pretty simple. during the feminist movement in this country all that changed. yes, i am blaming the women of this generation and the women currently in our society. women decided to become men, and then change men into women. we decided that men were idiots and they should express all the desires that come naturally to a woman and suppress their own natural desires.
a man gives a woman love when he feels respected and honored by her. a woman gives respect when she feels loved and cherished by him. GOD created us to be different, not the same. physically we can see this, but emotionally we can't. why has it become so hard for women to accept that a man is not a woman? men seem to get this, but i think they have become so beaten down they don't even try anymore to fight it. women have crucified a man's natural desire to protect, provide, cherish, love and respect us, because women think they can do it better.
here's an example of one reason we are not the same. if a burglar breaks into your home who do we expect as a woman to protect us; a man. our instincts turn to the man to defend us. why do we do this? as a woman we know that they are the stronger sex physically. women process situations differently than a man; we rule by our emotions. by nature we are more loving and are the caregivers. there's nothing wrong with traits; this is how GOD made us to be.
when you have a conflict with your spouse each of us hears something different. if my husband is questions something that i have done, or is anger with me over making a decision without consulting him i hear "he doesn't love me." if my husband does something that i don't agree with then he hears "she doesn't respect me." we never fully listen to what our spouse is trying to tell us or show us, because we allow pride to get the way. we assume that they should just get how we are feeling in the relationship. it doesn't matter if you think that you right. choose how you are going to react. actions and tone send a clear message to another.
we are crushing each other's natural desires daily. we have chosen the world's plan of what marriage should be and not GOD's plan. we have to step out of our comfort zones and feed each other's natural desires. this is the commitment that you made to each other and we are failing as a society. we no longer put the emphasis on love and respect in a marriage through all trials and troubles, but we run from it when it gets too hard.
i am not saying that women should be doormats, but i am saying that a woman has great control in her marriage. "the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands tears hers down" proverbs 14:1. men and women need stop trying to change who they are and accept what we love about each other. i have been trying to change my husband since we got married. why? all the things that i fell in love with are still the same, why do i need change him? i am not respecting who he is and how GOD made him. i'm basically saying "i don't like who you are."
"however, each one of you also must love his wife, as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." ephesians 5:33
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