When it comes to my boys I become like a lion to her cub. My oldest son has been having some issues at school not with discipline, but with learning. They are considering that he has learning disability and I need to put him in tutoring. I don’t agree. I find it hard to believe that a child that can pronounce almost every dinosaur’s name perfectly without hesitation has a learning disability. My husband and I can’t even pronounce most of them. My child is not going to be “labeled” so the school gets more funding. That is what public education has come down to; our children are now money making machines. Children are no longer allowed to learn.
At the beginning of the year I was hesitate to put him in and just keep him where he was. We decided that we would and it would be fine. He has done well since the beginning of the year, but he is now having anxiety now at the age 6 about paragraph structures and how fast he can write sentences. He knows that when he goes to school he has to obey and listen to his teacher, and he does not want to disappoint her. He loves her.
When he isn’t able to keep up the “rigorous” pace of kindergarten he feels as though he has failed her and us. This of course is not even true and breaks my heart as mother. There is no way in hell that my child’s spirit and good little heart will be broken, because of a broken system. He is going to have enough to deal with enough in life and he has to learn the simple tools to deal with those things. Patience is a discipline. The sad part is that they will push him through to 1st grade even though they say he is has having issues and it is going to be harder for him next year to keep up the pace. If he has a learning disability and needs tutoring why in the world would you push a child on to the next level that isn‘t ready?
We have a conference with his teacher in a week, and of course I will point out the obvious; the funding. I feel bad for his teacher because she wants to teach him and work with him, but I will not have my child working a full work day at the age of 6. We are already looking at the options for next year for both boys, and it will not be in the public schools. The United States is number 26th in the world in education. We have pumped billions and billions of dollars into our schools, so why would we be number 26?
We are teaching our children that all they have to do is just get by. It doesn’t matter if they work hard and need more help during school. We just tell them that it is ok and they don’t work hard. We don’t hurt their feelings. What happens when he gets into the real world and he doesn’t even understand the fundamentals? If we train our children that they don’t have to follow through and they can still move forward without working for it then we have failed them. This would be apart of the definition of neglect.
I read a very moving sermon by John MacArthur about children. Children are a blessing from God. We as parents are to train them to be prepared to leave us at some point. If they are not trained they will keep coming back, and will not be able to handle the world. That would be failure on our part as parents. Children are observant and our son watches people all the time. He sees things and is intelligent enough to figure out the manipulation of getting what he wants, or he doesn‘t think that he has to do certain things because he cries. That is manipulation. We have to stop it in its tracks and be consistent with him all the time. That is the reason why I stay at home. As the mother I have made the sacrifice to know everything about them and know how they tic. My boys have extremely good hearts and I will protect that.
My husband and I had a long discussion about this. It is like saying ‘don’t do what I do, do what I say.” The problem is they will learn to do what you do and not always what you say. We are both notorious with each other for not following on our promises on the little stuff. We have to stop that. Our sons will see that and think that they can get away with that. They will begin to think that everyone will just do it for them and they don’t have to follow through. I would be creating children that think they are entitled to it without ever working hard for it. Huge failure right there. We would become enablers of bad behavior. That comes with simplest of chores in the home.
I started thinking about this especially being a mom. I end up doing most of it for them, because I can do it faster. Wrong. I need train them that no matter how long it takes there is great joy in working. If I act like it is awful to clean or do chores just because I don’t want to they are going to see that. I can’t tell them to have strong work ethics without them showing them that. That is the biggest problem that we have with his education. They are basically telling children that even though they don’t know it, they we will push them through and it is ok. That is a recipe for failure later.
It is like our congress and balancing a budget. I don’t think any of them have ever balanced a check book. If you don’t have the money you don’t spend it. We are a “credit” society though. We say just get a loan, or just get a credit card, it doesn’t matter you can pay it later. How many us have gotten into trouble because of that? I know we have. Look at what is happening to the citizens of this nation because of it. All about checks and balances. If our son sees his father and I not following through with each on our responsibilities he will learn that. It will be a hard cycle to break once it is started. I am going through that with him right, because we got lazy and impatient. We didn’t want to have to deal with it.
We don’t just have things without working for it. This includes our relationships. Marriages have to be strong to create strong children. We have decided to cut back a great deal with our wants to make sure these boys have what they need to grow up to be strong men. That is my job as their mother and that is his job as their father. Self-sacrifice is following Christ. He blessed us with these boys, and we have to follow his commands on raising them.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5
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