Tuesday, January 25, 2011

desires of the heart

the desires of our heart only GOD truly knows. the last year i have been praying for something and it has been given to me. it is a testament to the power of prayer. it was something that i have feared for so long and when i finally gave it up to HIS control it was granted.

GOD's greater purpose and time frame is not always how we choose. control over our own lives and others seems to be the way of the world. maybe their is too much fear in us to really give up the control to HIM. the desire to be fully HIS is something that is hard to do.

when paul began his journey to spread the gospel at GOD's command i wonder if he struggled with trying to control the outcome to his own will? i fear every day posting these words and what the individuals will think when reading it. i fear if GOD is truly leading me in the right direction for the course of my life. i have many desires in my heart, but i know that not all them will be granted because that may not be the course HE wants me to take.

i have the strong desire to have another child. physically i can't do this and i know that it would be selfish of me to give into this desire. i think as a mother that desire never really goes away.

i have the desire to be beautiful physically again, but i'm exhausted. that is pure vanity on my part. i realize that i want to control my age and that time is taking over. what a great sin.

i think sometimes after a while some of our desires mask what we already have. we tend to focus on our wants and what we don't have instead of the blessings that we do have. all of of us do this, i just sometimes wonder if we will ever be able to give this up.

"2 Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." 2 peter 1:2-4

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