i understand the anger that some have with GOD. i understand how some can begin to lose faith over the long term. i can understand how so many can be mislead by false doctrine - it's out there. we see so much misery now we fail to look for the beauty that is out there.
in service on sunday the wife of our pastor said something about mother's that really spoke to me about our relationship with CHRIST. when you become a mom you lose yourself. your life is no longer your own. you struggle to find out who you are and the person you are going to become in that journey. you lose your patience, you have days where you feel like you are going to lose your mind and then you have moments where you find what a beautiful gift a child is.
GOD has these days with us, and then we have moments where we show HIM that we get it. we have the eternal gift of unconditional love with HIM and what a great blessing that is. i have been going through a very non christ like walk lately. i have been watching the news too much again and other things, that are really not me any longer. i have felt lost. the great thing about this is that i come back and confess and HE hopefully gives me grace.
i was just telling a friend that i have pulled out of a lot of church activities by choice. i have been thinking about those that are in need around me that don't sit in the pew with me on sundays. there is so much fear and anger going around that it seems just the simple acts of kindness and compassion are no longer there. this isn't about money, or where our country is going, it's about helping those that are in emotional need; that are lost.
i know that we all have it in us to be kind; i know we do. my prayer is that we look at individuals not just the ones that go to church with us and reach out with forgiveness, understanding, compassion and grace, but to all individuals. each of us needs love - all of us. i can be in a terrible mood, or sad and then something happens where i'm reminded of HIM and HIS love.
if we don't have faith, or hope as a christian we become lost. if we don't seek out comfort from scripture we become lost. our journey is like that of a child. we become selfish in our journey with HIM where we are constantly demanding something from our labors. i look at this way if i am teaching my children to love one another, to be kind to one another, to apologize to one another, but i can't show that to another person, how will they learn? if i am always seeking forgiveness from GOD for my mistakes HE is probably at some point going to ask me when i will understand that HE is sufficient alone; not the world?
marriage is this way. i am as much to blame as the next person on this one. we want our spouse to find our peace for us. we want them to give us all the things that GOD gives us so graciously. we want our spouses to make us happy, but see we are responsible for that - not them. my husband and i's home improvement project about drove us both insane. things that were important to me were not to my husband and things that were important to my husband were not to me. on a deeper level we both are still learning this about each other. we both are still learning what hurts one may not hurt the other. i figure we'll get it before we die.
i'm not saying that we have to like everybody, but we do need to be kind. i've had to eat big ole pieces of humble pie quite a few times because of this, but when i put my trust in HIM HE got me through it whether i wanted to or not. the question really is; are we living a world centered life, or a GOD centered life. if we put HIM above all things HE will show us the way.
"not that i have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but i press on so that i may lay hold of that for which i was laid hold of by JESUS CHRIST. brethren, i do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing i do; forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead" philippians 3:12-13
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