the condition of the heart

"The tongue reveals the condition of my heart. The words that I speak are a mirror into my heart.
If I can’t talk about the Lord in the course of conversation, it means that my heart is not as focused and set on the Lord as it needs to be.
If you want your words to change, it’s not enough to focus on changing your speech. What we really... need is a heart change" www.reviveourhearts.com

to me the idea that we can't change is a myth. we can't change a person, but GOD can. we can't change an individuals heart, but GOD can. i am an example of someone that has been changed by GOD. what HE is doing in my heart only continues. what HE is doing in my mind only continues.

spouses tend to be the biggest culprits in trying to change each other. for some reason it becomes a woman's challenge to try and change whom her husband is after they get married. i'm guilty of this and i know most women are. when my husband and i first got married he had to learn that i really needed time by myself. it is just not in my nature to be with others all the time. i like being by myself a lot. a problem that i have and one that i still struggle with is his love of cars and electronics. he loves these things and i can't change that just like he can't change me wanting to be alone sometimes. we are still learning to compromise on these things after 9 years of marriage.

one of the biggest issues that my husband and i have faced is my words. i grew up in a family where we were verbal about our screw-ups - big time. we know when we've screwed up; my parents never hid that from us. my mother didn't yell about what we had done, but my dad did. i don't know which way was worse, i just knew when i had pushed the limit. each one of my brothers and my sister are strong-willed about what we believe and very passionate about it. it's not fun to hear how we've screwed up and what we should be doing.

i yell with my anger and my husband represses his anger. i tell him when i'm angry through yelling and he usually tells me months later when he was angry. he asked me to learn how to control my temper and i have asked him to tell me then when he is angry. when my boys fight i have to tell them to calm down and tell me what happened. they have to learn that they can't yell at each out of anger, but they do have to resolve it then. we are trying to teach them the correct way to do it, and not to learn from their parents actions on this one.

now with that said just because someone tells you what you should be doing doesn't mean they are going to do it. only GOD can do that. sometimes though just mentioning it makes someone decide to look into their hearts and think "maybe i should be doing that." think about paul from the bible. he went into churches and communities and held them accountable to scripture and to GOD's laws. do you think people wanted to hear what he had to say and the truth of scripture? no, that would be too much reality.

i attended a bible study yesterday regarding church history from 1700 to 1914. during this time it was decided that the church and government would separate in france. which ended up causing the french revolution. it wasn't the war that surprised me during this time it was the battle of words; the battle of GOD's words and man's. man believed that they knew what was right and not GOD (sound familiar?). so they decided to manipulate the words. we all do this today. we try to bend GOD's word to satisfy our own ego and selfishness.

when GOD is brought into the conversation sometimes it will feel offensive to you, but maybe that should be a red flag that you are probably doing it. hard lessons to learn for each one of us.

"he said to them, you are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but GOD knows your hearts. what is highly valued among men is detestable in GOD'S sight." luke 16:15

"but, let him who boasts boast in the LORD. for it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the LORD commends." 2 corinthians 10:17-18