balance

i am becoming a hermit. i enjoy the silence of my home; really taking a breather from life. i love to have friends and family over, but after the events at the end of 2010 i haven't done that much. i have begun to study and educate myself more with what is happening in the world; plus just filling my soul with HIS words.

being giving of yourself is a natural process of your relationship with CHRIST. the desire to help and be there for others only becomes stronger in your journey with GOD over time. when it becomes a problem is when you haven't given the time to HIM and your immediate family. letting go of those idols is ok (not that my friends and family are idols). i think we tend to run away from our trials and feed them with non-important things so we don't have to face them.

giving up control to HIM completely is a challenge and that has been my focus for the new year. i've begun to listen to HIM more and what HE is asking of me. there is always something that you can continue to learn from HIM; always. as i watch the world events unfold around us i am saddened by what we have lost and what we are ignoring. each one of us has a purpose for our lives that HE has given us; a gift.

our desire to learn more about HIM comes in stages i think. i have noticed that there are weeks where i can't learn enough from scripture and then there are others that i just have to ponder it. i've noticed that my life was that way; there wasn't balance. i'm having to learn to balance it all, but to make sure HE is apart of my life everyday.

i have had to admit that i really don't feel well everyday and i can only do what i can. it's not that i feel that i am losing my drive, i just have found that i'm not going to do it all anymore unless i can. i have made a conviction to myself that if it interferes with my husband and my children it will stop. i can't carry guilt for not being able to do it all. i can't let societies rules come before GOD's rules for living.

living a christian life sometimes means living a quiet life. there are those around us that change the world by teaching scripture and how that has affected their life; that is their gift. my desire is that my husband knows he comes first in my life next to GOD. my desire is to write. that's how i spread the word of CHRIST. my desire is to open my home to others if they need me. my desire is to be a true friend. my desire is that i've given my boys a loving home that they can feel secure in. all of these desires were given to me by HIM. i can't praise HIM enough for that!

this is the year of GOD, my husband, and my boys; that's it. it feels pretty good to let life take its course for us. it is quite peaceful actually. i have begun to find balance.

"make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 thessalonians 4:11-12"

"for the word of GOD is living and active. sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. hebrews 4:12"

"21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. james 1:21-25"