Remember We Are Great Sinners

Our pastor asked us yesterday to remember that we are great sinners during this holy week. The sins we committed before we were saved and the ones that we are doing daily. Each have been given grace. When he caught us and made us his own he wiped the slate clean. We are reborn in him. Can we remember the day he caught us? Can we remember that day we accepted him?

My grandmother was a beautiful woman of God. She knew the bible inside and out. As she got older she kept hanging onto life out of fear. She feared being held accountable to God for her thoughts. He slowly over a couple of years took her mind so she no longer feared then he took her home. What a beautiful gift he gave her. 

There are some days still that I can hardly breathe at the thought that he wanted me and saved me. I am still in awe that he does. I truly believe that if we don't understand our very nature we become blind to what we are capable of that hurts him and others. We conform our minds and hearts to these rules, because we fear that we may be wrong. He already knows our hearts and thoughts.  We fear change. God is always trying to chip away at the rules; a hardened heart. 

I have been reading a lot about forgiveness and grace the last few weeks. Paul's conversion is incredible to me. He was such an evil man and he became one of God's greatest warriors. I have been wondering how long it took people to trust him. If they were always suspicious of his acts and words. They knew what he was capable of. God used that for his purpose. 

"But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints at Jerusalem. 14 And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on your name.”15 But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel.16 For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” Acts 9:13-16

I have read the above scripture numerous time, but the last verse had never popped out at me. Paul suffered tremendously for him. The idea that we won't is a lie that people have taught themselves. We have to accept that he does allow that and be grateful for it. Paul was grateful for his salvation from his great sins. 

I think we believe that God changed from the wrathful God in the Old Testament to a passive, weak man in Jesus. He did not change - he is the same as yesterday, today and tomorrow. Do not fear repentance from him, because then you miss out on the beautiful gift of grace. 

A friend asked me a couple of weeks ago if I could describe my journey in one word what would it be; grace. After all theses years I finally realized that he made me angry enough with my diagnosis to forget my fear of being held accountable by him. I would have missed out on a lot of gifts; what a sad way to live.