My parents a couple of years ago answered a question for me truthfully. I asked the question will I ever be good enough for this person, and they said no you will not. It broke my heart, not because of the truth they spoke, but because I had placed so much value on it for so long. I heard God quite clearly say "your worth is in me, not people." That was the last time I got sick. I stopped playing the game. I stopped being a doormat. I started to say no this will not happen any longer. I stopped saying to myself you have to be something you're not, because people think you should be one way or another as a christian. My gift is not being hooked up to an iv every six months. I begged like a dog for him to stop making me sick and make me see.
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:14-21
I didn't deserve his gift of grace and I still don't. I got a lot of issues in my heart that are wrong and disobedient to him. His son paid our debt and we owe him our hearts, and obedience. This is the dummy version of it; you owe your rent or mortgage so you pay it - whether you want to or not. We took his gift of heaven, accepted the son, and now we must become more like him. This means that we have to give up everything that is offensive to him whether we want to or not, because we love him more and we are grateful for our gift. The question is do we listen?
Over the last year I have realized that God is pushing me in a different direction. He has said no, you have done that it is now time to move on to something else - prepare. I love that about God. I love the fact that I am more willing now to say no, mean it and not feel guilt about it anymore. I can hear him quite clearly saying if you do this there will be a consequence. When people say no to you about something that they can't do their is reason for that. Their reason may be God has told them not to. That doesn't mean they love you less that just means they love God more. Don't be angry with a person for loving God more than you; they are doing what is right in the eyes of God.
Either we accept the realities, or we don't. I have found great peace in the last couple of weeks. I have found more courage and strength to face the reality that we aren't going to be so comfortable anymore. I found peace with God's righteous judgment for when we turn from him. I found peace with the reality of this country. God has forced his hand, and we are subject to the governing authorities because he said so. Don't get me wrong I am nervous about not knowing what could happen, not so much for me, but for my boys.
27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic[a] either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:27:36
I wonder if the greatest fear Christians have is making the confession to God or to a friend that they have sin in their heart, and saying what that sin is. Peace will not be found in this world. God never said that. He said you would only find peace with him through your trials. The trials will still happen but do we have the courage to trust him during the trial. I have to say that people that refuse to admit when they are wrong and humbly ask for forgiveness have totally missed the point of his grace. God is watching whether or not you have the courage to admit to the person that you hurt for forgiveness.
Remember the disciples didn't deserve his grace. Paul didn't deserve it. The prostitute didn't deserve it. The tax collector didn't deserve it. The adulterous woman didn't deserve it. The thief hanging on a cross next to him didn't deserve it. We don't deserve it. They repented, confessed and gave their hearts to him. Be merciful in your judgement of another Christian for believing in the truth of Christ, because he will hold you to higher standard.
There is a man that attends our church that took another's life. He served his time in prison for taking that life. God forgave him and received him. He showed him great mercy and this man continues to follow him with great love and devotion. He has far more faith than many of the Christians I know that profess his name. Remember if you are angry with your spouse, your child, your friend, your neighbor, your grandchild, your mother, your father, your sister, or your brother for loving God more than you, you have murder in your heart.
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:34-39
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