people pleasers

how many of us try to be people pleasers? how many of us never say no? how many us worry so much about our image to another that our hearts aren't taken care of? how many of us focus on what wasn't done in our lifetime that we push ourselves to almost the brink of insanity trying to break the cycle? it is almost the curse of the american people and i have to say a lot of christians. the idea of saying no just doesn't even cross our minds when dealing with domestic, foreign, or personal relationships.

this is a tough one to learn in our journey with CHRIST. we seem to almost forget our relationship with HIM, because we are so worried about our deeds. the funny thing about this is that when you are continually nourishing your relationship with HIM the deeds just become second nature to you. when we start pushing ourselves to do more deeds to prove to the world that we are christians is when it becomes a problem. the question then should be are you doing the will of GOD, or are you doing it for the glorification of the world and yourself?

it is not in my nature to pretend to be something i'm not. i don't work that way - i never have. i have tried to do this and it only gets me in trouble; actually i have done this for years. if i feel there is an injustice, that someone has been taken advantage of, or that i have been taken advantage of i usually say something. my husband and i have had numerous discussions about this - not always good i might add. he wants me to control my tongue and i want to put it out there for people to ponder. the argument is more about the tone and not always about the injustice. he has basically been trying to tell me it doesn't matter what others think; he knows i'm a good person and GOD knows.

i have on more than one occasion threw it by the waste side about others judgements, but on other occasions i just couldn't contain it anymore. there is a verse in scripture that says when you do something good don't let others see it. i never understood that verse completely. i knew that we should be humble in our giving and that we should do it with a cheerful heart, but if others didn't see it how would they know your a good person; a good christian? i have finally gotten that verse. i have tried to quit beating myself up when i say no. i have had to realize my limitations and that some things i was doing weren't always what GOD wanted me do, it was more about what i thought i should be doing.

i have very wise friends; very wise. they have for years tried to get me to slow down. for years they have tried to get me to see that i have a good heart regardless of my deeds. they have tried to tell me for years that i was good person and i shouldn't feel guilt for not doing something. there comes a point that you have to stop thinking that you're not worthy enough for someone else and realize that you are worthy in the eyes of GOD. HIS judgement is the only one that matters, and HE knows your heart.

for the first time in my life i can honestly say i am comfortable in my skin. i am comfortable in my life and whom i have become because of my relationship with CHRIST. this doesn't mean i won't make mistakes, it just means that i don't have to beat myself about it anymore - i just need to let HIM guide me more. what an incredible blessing to be a child of GOD. what a great relief it is to have HIS grace in what i do above all others.

the greatest gift that i will ever teach my children is that GOD comes before all things, all relationships. their relationship with HIM will get them through the good and the bad. it has been a great blessing that i listened to HIM to slow down and to just focus on my purpose; my husband and my boys.

"7But (Q)whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

8More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of (R)knowing (S)Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

9and may be found in Him, not having (T)a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, (U)the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,

10that I may (V)know Him and (W)the power of His resurrection and (X)the fellowship of His sufferings, being (Y)conformed to His death" phillippians 3:7-10