I get up in the middle night every day. At first I thought it had to do with my meds for my MS, but there at times where I have felt an urgency from him to pay attention. It does get old, but this is my time with Him. I have accepted this about my relationship with him. This is when I focus on him the most, and he knows that. The last couple of weeks I have been praying about some things that have become my idols. I should say distractions that are really interfering in my life.
I spend hours in solitude with him. I have made this sacrifice to him that I will do it, and he is holding me accountable to it. At the beginning I had no idea that this is what he was doing. I must say that God is very good at nagging you about stuff. He gives me sleep when I need it. He gives me the strength to make it through the day. He is not done with me on so many levels and when I ignore him out of fear I get myself in trouble. It is hard facing the issues we have in our hearts, or reality. It is beautiful thing when we finally see what he has been trying to show us.
My question is why are we aren’t we happy with our lives? Why are we looking at others to fulfill that void? What is in us that we think life should be easy and we don’t have to work for it. I’m not talking about money. Every fulfillment we have in our lives is because we worked for it. I have peace about certain things because I worked for it not because someone did it for me. Sometimes I wish we would just say no, or I can’t do that right now. I really do, because then we would be telling the truth. We can’t accept no from anyone, or we make them feel guilty for not doing it. I think we do that because we have our own guilt for the stuff we ignore, or for what we don’t do. Our bible study teacher said something Sunday that really struck a chord with me. “Compassion sometimes is doing something that we don’t want to do.” Sometimes telling someone no is the best thing we can do for someone, or actually being there to listen when someone needs us. I see the word “no” as forcing someone to do it on their own.
It would be refreshing if our government finally said we aren’t going to do it anymore. We can’t afford it. We have to fix it. We have to get rid of the stuff that citizens should be paying for on their own. We will protect you from the evils of the world. Help our seniors if they need it, and most of all our children. We will give individuals 6 or 7 months to get their lives back on track, but that is it. What we are seeing though is we want our debts erased. We don’t want to be really responsible for ourselves and our financial responsibilities. We may say it, but are actions go against our words. I understand that we are scared. I have to question individuals though on how this is fair to another that did the right thing, and is still doing it. This should have nothing to do with how wealthy someone is if we have God in our hearts.
Monday I went to the doctor, and when I got out I had to get some prescriptions filled. I picked up my re-fills as well. My co-pays have gone up again. I’ve accepted the fact that with the health care bill they are going up. I can afford my insurance. My husband’s portion is paid for by his company as a benefit to him; part of his salary but this probably won't happen much longer. We have to cover our family though.. A gentleman was there also. A senior in his 80’s. His co-pays have gone up also. One of his meds was deemed too expensive by Medicare. I could see the fear and concern in his eyes.
We talked about it. He said I have worked all my life. I have good private insurance and I can afford to pay for my medicine right now out of my pocket that the insurance will no longer cover. He said “I don’t know about my friends that can’t and are relying on Medicare to cover it.” The bill is affecting us, will affect us and we have to brace our selves for that. So many wanted affordable healthcare, but the problem is it doesn’t affect just a few it affects all of us and it costs a lot of money to do that. I can pay for my insurance and my extra co-pays. That is not always going to be the case because my family has to cover socialized medicine now. This is the truth, and all you have to do is look at European countries that have been doing this for years.
Did anyone think about how this would affect those that are ill, have chronic illenesses, or our seniors? No they didn’t. I was angry in the beginning about all of this, because I understood what it meant. My care will be deemed too expensive in a lot of cases because we have to cover the masses. I don’t blame my insurance company, or my drug company. I blame the United States government and all those citizens that supported this. We are one hell of a selfish country.
I am not wealthy, and to be honest I do not feel bad for our government workers that have to pay more now. This is the private sector, and government jobs are paid by individuals like my husband. I really don’t feel bad that union workers are losing their collective bargaining rights. The more that the employees ask for that work for the government we have to pay for in the private sector. Please stop, and tell them to fix the problems. They are killing us financially. Yes, government employees pay taxes but if corporations and businesses get taxed more, get slammed with higher healthcare costs or regulations you are biting the very hand that feeds you.
I pray that our president does not win again. I pray that a man gets in there and runs the country like a business. I pray that he has enough courage to tell the American people that it is time for us take accountability for our lives. I pray that people understand that the more we ask of them we will fall economically and they have control over our lives. Where will we be then? Military will be weak. Police and fire departments will be cut more. Education will be worse than it is now. Most of all our children will suffer more in the future. I don’t know if I could live with that guilt and regret in my heart.
"Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work. I said in my heart with regard to the children of man that God is testing them that they may see that they themselves are but beasts. For what happens to the children of man and what happens to the beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts, for all is vanity. All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth? So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. Who can bring him to see what will be after him? (Ecclesiastes 3:16-22 ESV)"
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