the desires of our heart only GOD truly knows. the last year i have been praying for something and it has been given to me. it is a testament to the power of prayer. it was something that i have feared for so long and when i finally gave it up to HIS control it was granted.
GOD's greater purpose and time frame is not always how we choose. control over our own lives and others seems to be the way of the world. maybe their is too much fear in us to really give up the control to HIM. the desire to be fully HIS is something that is hard to do.
when paul began his journey to spread the gospel at GOD's command i wonder if he struggled with trying to control the outcome to his own will? i fear every day posting these words and what the individuals will think when reading it. i fear if GOD is truly leading me in the right direction for the course of my life. i have many desires in my heart, but i know that not all them will be granted because that may not be the course HE wants me to take.
i have the strong desire to have another child. physically i can't do this and i know that it would be selfish of me to give into this desire. i think as a mother that desire never really goes away.
i have the desire to be beautiful physically again, but i'm exhausted. that is pure vanity on my part. i realize that i want to control my age and that time is taking over. what a great sin.
i think sometimes after a while some of our desires mask what we already have. we tend to focus on our wants and what we don't have instead of the blessings that we do have. all of of us do this, i just sometimes wonder if we will ever be able to give this up.
"2 Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." 2 peter 1:2-4
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
being too comfortable
i have been reading these books about spiritual warfare. they are both fiction, but it is quite interesting on how GOD and satan use our circumstance and emotion to battle against each other; which is not fiction. during our sunday school class yesterday one our teachers made a comment about how "we should always be a little uncomfortable in the world." i started thinking about this, because of how many individuals or societies that have just gotten a little too comfortable with their surroundings.
i'm never truly at peace, which is the opposite of what society tells me. i am constantly seeking GOD for more wisdom on how to do something, or what i should have done in a situation. when peace finally does show itself then i know that i have done what GOD required of me to do at that time. my husband and i have be struggling, and actually arguing about a decision that both of us didn't feel right about making. we ended up going the opposite direction and we stopped arguing. GOD put it on both our hearts that we were making the wrong decision for our family.
sometimes when we are given the chance to do something that we thought was the right choice, or the desire of our hearts it turns out to be the wrong choice. our teacher talked about having to give up a battle that had been going on for over 2 years in their life. he said now he is going to have to basically re-train his mind and heart to realize the battle is over. i started thinking what if they cured ms and i had to live my life without the disease anymore. it would be an incredible blessing, but it would also be a whole new journey to conquer.
there was a situation that occurred in me and my husband's life a few months ago that still has me questioning the outcome on what could have been done differently, and how we should live up to the end decision that came from it. my husband has already resolved it in his mind and i haven't. the reason is because i am still trying to learn wisdom from it. first of all it got way out control; second of all it actually brought to light some things that had been going on for years. with all the parties involved there will always be a reminder of what not to do and what we should be doing.
when we get a little too comfortable in our journey with GOD then i wonder if we are too prideful. maybe we've decided that we can control our lives better than GOD can. do we ever stop to think that maybe the hardships we suffer, aren't about the other individual, but what we are actually doing. when we say "i don't do this", or "i don't that"; then maybe we should look into ourselves and see if we actually do. sometimes it will hit you in the face, heart and mind so hard that you think; "what have i been doing all these years." we have to step out of our comfort zones sometimes and just face the facts.
"15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[g] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant." colossians 1:15-23
i'm never truly at peace, which is the opposite of what society tells me. i am constantly seeking GOD for more wisdom on how to do something, or what i should have done in a situation. when peace finally does show itself then i know that i have done what GOD required of me to do at that time. my husband and i have be struggling, and actually arguing about a decision that both of us didn't feel right about making. we ended up going the opposite direction and we stopped arguing. GOD put it on both our hearts that we were making the wrong decision for our family.
sometimes when we are given the chance to do something that we thought was the right choice, or the desire of our hearts it turns out to be the wrong choice. our teacher talked about having to give up a battle that had been going on for over 2 years in their life. he said now he is going to have to basically re-train his mind and heart to realize the battle is over. i started thinking what if they cured ms and i had to live my life without the disease anymore. it would be an incredible blessing, but it would also be a whole new journey to conquer.
there was a situation that occurred in me and my husband's life a few months ago that still has me questioning the outcome on what could have been done differently, and how we should live up to the end decision that came from it. my husband has already resolved it in his mind and i haven't. the reason is because i am still trying to learn wisdom from it. first of all it got way out control; second of all it actually brought to light some things that had been going on for years. with all the parties involved there will always be a reminder of what not to do and what we should be doing.
when we get a little too comfortable in our journey with GOD then i wonder if we are too prideful. maybe we've decided that we can control our lives better than GOD can. do we ever stop to think that maybe the hardships we suffer, aren't about the other individual, but what we are actually doing. when we say "i don't do this", or "i don't that"; then maybe we should look into ourselves and see if we actually do. sometimes it will hit you in the face, heart and mind so hard that you think; "what have i been doing all these years." we have to step out of our comfort zones sometimes and just face the facts.
"15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[g] your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant." colossians 1:15-23
Thursday, January 20, 2011
death and time
we are to live each day as if it were our last. i don't do this and i don't think most of us do. we are to live our lives with the goal of reaching heaven everyday. last night in gary thomas's sermon he talked about our denial of death. we live as though we are going to have an infinite amount of days to live. this is a morbid topic i know, but i actually had not thought about death this way before.
he used two visuals for our imagination. would you have an affair knowing that you would be facing GOD within a few hours? would you meet GOD in a drunken stupor if you were to be facing GOD within a few hours? to be honest these visuals scared the crap out of me, not that i done those things that day, but i thought "oh my" what have i done today that glorified GOD? well i don't know if i can do enough everyday to glorify HIM, but i do know that just taking the time in my choices does glorify HIM.
i fear GOD way more than i do people. if i am choosing time away from my loved ones when i should be choosing time for my loved ones than i have failed. my immediate family comes before all others. my time with GOD comes before my immediate family. i get up early each day, so that i can spend time with GOD reading scripture and writing this. i do this not just for personal wisdom, but in the hope that someone will value GOD more. i also do this early in the morning, so i am not taking the time away from my children.
scripture tells us that we do not know when CHRIST will come again, so we must prepare ourselves each day for HIS coming. scripture also tells us that we must prepare ourselves each day, because we do not know when we will die. we must be prepared for when HE holds us accountable for our choices. repentance for our choices is most important when it comes to this, so i hope most of us take the time to repent, or seek forgiveness.
my ultimate goal is time on my marriage. the time will come when my children are grown and if i haven't made the time with my husband to make our marriage grow, than what will we have? neither one of us knows when that time will be taken away, so we must live each day together as if it were our last. if i choose something over my marriage, or allow something to interfere in my marriage then GOD is going to hold me accountable for this. in my opinion this will be my ultimate judgement; what i allowed to come in between me and my husband.
when i have an attack i have to go back and look at how i spent my time up to that attack. did i rest enough? did i take on more than i should have? did i allow stresses, or situations to interfere with my time? if the answer to any those questions is that i did or didn't then i have failed. i need to rid my life of it, or make the effort to choose my time wisely. when i am sick that takes time away from my husband and my children. that is something that i'm not willing to give up.
"As no one has power over the wind to contain it, so no one has power over the time of their death. As no one is discharged in time of war, so wickedness will not release those who practice it." ecclesiastes 8:8
"He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority." acts 1:7
"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord" acts 3:19
"Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God" 1 corinthians 4:5
he used two visuals for our imagination. would you have an affair knowing that you would be facing GOD within a few hours? would you meet GOD in a drunken stupor if you were to be facing GOD within a few hours? to be honest these visuals scared the crap out of me, not that i done those things that day, but i thought "oh my" what have i done today that glorified GOD? well i don't know if i can do enough everyday to glorify HIM, but i do know that just taking the time in my choices does glorify HIM.
i fear GOD way more than i do people. if i am choosing time away from my loved ones when i should be choosing time for my loved ones than i have failed. my immediate family comes before all others. my time with GOD comes before my immediate family. i get up early each day, so that i can spend time with GOD reading scripture and writing this. i do this not just for personal wisdom, but in the hope that someone will value GOD more. i also do this early in the morning, so i am not taking the time away from my children.
scripture tells us that we do not know when CHRIST will come again, so we must prepare ourselves each day for HIS coming. scripture also tells us that we must prepare ourselves each day, because we do not know when we will die. we must be prepared for when HE holds us accountable for our choices. repentance for our choices is most important when it comes to this, so i hope most of us take the time to repent, or seek forgiveness.
my ultimate goal is time on my marriage. the time will come when my children are grown and if i haven't made the time with my husband to make our marriage grow, than what will we have? neither one of us knows when that time will be taken away, so we must live each day together as if it were our last. if i choose something over my marriage, or allow something to interfere in my marriage then GOD is going to hold me accountable for this. in my opinion this will be my ultimate judgement; what i allowed to come in between me and my husband.
when i have an attack i have to go back and look at how i spent my time up to that attack. did i rest enough? did i take on more than i should have? did i allow stresses, or situations to interfere with my time? if the answer to any those questions is that i did or didn't then i have failed. i need to rid my life of it, or make the effort to choose my time wisely. when i am sick that takes time away from my husband and my children. that is something that i'm not willing to give up.
"As no one has power over the wind to contain it, so no one has power over the time of their death. As no one is discharged in time of war, so wickedness will not release those who practice it." ecclesiastes 8:8
"He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority." acts 1:7
"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord" acts 3:19
"Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God" 1 corinthians 4:5
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
can someone define what is offensive now?
i just got done reading an article about the new alabama governor regarding a speech he made. he said that all those that had accepted JESUS CHRIST AS THEIR SAVIOUR were his brothers and sisters in CHRIST. he also said that those that haven't accepted CHRIST weren't his brothers and sisters.
the media and a another group have implied that because he said this he may not be tolerate, or accepting of those that don't believe CHRIST is their saviour. my question is do they even know if that is true? has his past suggested that he wouldn't be tolerate, or caring to non-christians?
it seems that we can't even speak anymore without everything being offensive. i don't know why this is. i am more offended that the group assumed that he wouldn't be tolerate. we live in almost fear of everything we do, or say anymore so we don't offend someone. when did GOD become so offensive to speak of?
there are some things that are truly offensive that we seem to ignore as a society. i don't understand how a black man can call another black man "a nigger." this word is terribly offensive. i often think what would martin luther king jr think of this? he fought and died so individuals could understand how offensive this is to another human being.
i find it offensive that our own president doesn't say CREATOR when he reads the declaration of independence. i find it to be very disrespectful to our founding fathers that based the laws of the united states on scripture and GOD.
i'm sure that i have offended quite a few individuals that have read this blog. it's my opinion only. does that mean that you have to read it; no. the truth of scripture is offensive. it's not comfortable always to hear. it's not a continually, tell all book of how wonderful you are. scripture tells you what is sin and what you need to do to live as christian. one of those is to spread the gospel no matter how offensive that is. others don't have to listen, or accept CHRIST. we are not responsible for anothers salvation, only GOD is.
we were once a christian nation. we at one time held scripture and the truths of CHRIST to be the most important thing. CHRIST tells us to tell the truth to each other; to hold each other accountable. this isn't easy. HE never said that it was going be easy. we did this to ourselves when adam and eve ate the apple. HE gave us HIS SON so we could be saved from our sin. why have so many forgotten that?
"6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! 9 As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse!
10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:6-10
the media and a another group have implied that because he said this he may not be tolerate, or accepting of those that don't believe CHRIST is their saviour. my question is do they even know if that is true? has his past suggested that he wouldn't be tolerate, or caring to non-christians?
it seems that we can't even speak anymore without everything being offensive. i don't know why this is. i am more offended that the group assumed that he wouldn't be tolerate. we live in almost fear of everything we do, or say anymore so we don't offend someone. when did GOD become so offensive to speak of?
there are some things that are truly offensive that we seem to ignore as a society. i don't understand how a black man can call another black man "a nigger." this word is terribly offensive. i often think what would martin luther king jr think of this? he fought and died so individuals could understand how offensive this is to another human being.
i find it offensive that our own president doesn't say CREATOR when he reads the declaration of independence. i find it to be very disrespectful to our founding fathers that based the laws of the united states on scripture and GOD.
i'm sure that i have offended quite a few individuals that have read this blog. it's my opinion only. does that mean that you have to read it; no. the truth of scripture is offensive. it's not comfortable always to hear. it's not a continually, tell all book of how wonderful you are. scripture tells you what is sin and what you need to do to live as christian. one of those is to spread the gospel no matter how offensive that is. others don't have to listen, or accept CHRIST. we are not responsible for anothers salvation, only GOD is.
we were once a christian nation. we at one time held scripture and the truths of CHRIST to be the most important thing. CHRIST tells us to tell the truth to each other; to hold each other accountable. this isn't easy. HE never said that it was going be easy. we did this to ourselves when adam and eve ate the apple. HE gave us HIS SON so we could be saved from our sin. why have so many forgotten that?
"6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! 9 As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse!
10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:6-10
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
facing my ms; facing my fear
a couple of nights ago i had a dream where each time i sat down and then got up my legs wouldn't move as well as they had the last time. each time i had a harder time walking than i did before. each time i picked myself up and moved no matter how hard it was to go forward.
not being able to walk and being in a wheelchair at some point with this disease is probably one of my biggest fears. i have denied this for years. instead of facing that fear, i buried it. GOD always has a different plan in mind when HE decides it's time for us to face something. this last attack HE made sure that it was time for me to face that reality. i have realized that i carry a great deal of shame and vanity about this. i don't want individuals to see me as a woman in just a wheelchair.
what's interesting about ms is that it forces you into seasons. each season of the disease is different. life of course is that way. i have always had too much pride in the way i handle my disease, instead of enough humility. i have pushed my body more than i should way too many times because of pride and fear. lately instead of burying the fact that i have ms i have had to deal with it. without GOD guiding me i would still be in denial. if we seek wisdom from HIM, HE will at some point give it to us.
when you see me physically you wouldn't even know i have ms unless i told you. my husband has become an observer of my ms. he knows when something is going on with me physically and he questions me about it. for years i have said i am fine even when i wasn't. usually, within a few weeks i am in a full blown attack. see, i have even made my husband forget that i have ms, because i didn't want him to worry. we both have had to change our way of thinking about it.
for years i have prayed that i didn't have ms; that my doctor was wrong. i have been trying to prove to myself and others that i can still do all the things that others can do physically. i have been lying to myself for years. GOD has allowed me to do this for years; HE finally said enough. HE finally said you will have peace about this and you must give it to ME.
i have had a great deal of peace about my ms since i let it go to HIM. i have had a great deal of peace about realizing that i can't do it all. what's funny about this is, HE has been trying for years to get me to face this. HE knew i wasn't ready yet, until now. i have to finally tell the truth to myself and others that it is real. GOD BLESS all of my family and friends that have had to wait for me to do this.
i love this about GOD. i love that i am still growing in HIM. i love that HE is in control of this and that i don't need to worry so much about it. it is freeing to be able to tell the truth about how this disease makes me feel physically and emotionally. i thank HIM for giving me the wisdom to finally give it up.
"yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through HIM who loved us. for i am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to seperate us from the love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD." romans 8:37-39
"for you will light my lamp; the LORD MY GOD will enlighten my darkness. for by YOU i can run against a troop, by my GOD i can leap over a wall. as for GOD, HIS way is perfect; the word of the LORD is proven; HE is a shield to all who trust in HIM." psalm 18:28-30
"then JESUS spoke to them again, saying I am the light of the world. HE who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of LIFE." john 8:12
not being able to walk and being in a wheelchair at some point with this disease is probably one of my biggest fears. i have denied this for years. instead of facing that fear, i buried it. GOD always has a different plan in mind when HE decides it's time for us to face something. this last attack HE made sure that it was time for me to face that reality. i have realized that i carry a great deal of shame and vanity about this. i don't want individuals to see me as a woman in just a wheelchair.
what's interesting about ms is that it forces you into seasons. each season of the disease is different. life of course is that way. i have always had too much pride in the way i handle my disease, instead of enough humility. i have pushed my body more than i should way too many times because of pride and fear. lately instead of burying the fact that i have ms i have had to deal with it. without GOD guiding me i would still be in denial. if we seek wisdom from HIM, HE will at some point give it to us.
when you see me physically you wouldn't even know i have ms unless i told you. my husband has become an observer of my ms. he knows when something is going on with me physically and he questions me about it. for years i have said i am fine even when i wasn't. usually, within a few weeks i am in a full blown attack. see, i have even made my husband forget that i have ms, because i didn't want him to worry. we both have had to change our way of thinking about it.
for years i have prayed that i didn't have ms; that my doctor was wrong. i have been trying to prove to myself and others that i can still do all the things that others can do physically. i have been lying to myself for years. GOD has allowed me to do this for years; HE finally said enough. HE finally said you will have peace about this and you must give it to ME.
i have had a great deal of peace about my ms since i let it go to HIM. i have had a great deal of peace about realizing that i can't do it all. what's funny about this is, HE has been trying for years to get me to face this. HE knew i wasn't ready yet, until now. i have to finally tell the truth to myself and others that it is real. GOD BLESS all of my family and friends that have had to wait for me to do this.
i love this about GOD. i love that i am still growing in HIM. i love that HE is in control of this and that i don't need to worry so much about it. it is freeing to be able to tell the truth about how this disease makes me feel physically and emotionally. i thank HIM for giving me the wisdom to finally give it up.
"yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through HIM who loved us. for i am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to seperate us from the love of GOD which is in CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD." romans 8:37-39
"for you will light my lamp; the LORD MY GOD will enlighten my darkness. for by YOU i can run against a troop, by my GOD i can leap over a wall. as for GOD, HIS way is perfect; the word of the LORD is proven; HE is a shield to all who trust in HIM." psalm 18:28-30
"then JESUS spoke to them again, saying I am the light of the world. HE who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of LIFE." john 8:12
Monday, January 17, 2011
letting go
by now most of are well into our resolutions for the year, or we have completely thrown them by the waste side. i normally don't do resolutions because i know that i won't complete them and i will fail. this year though i decided i needed to let go of my idols and try to learn about letting go. this is not going to be a one year process, this is going to be many years in the making. i have made the choice to let these idols go. LORD HELP ME and HE will.
two things happened yesterday; one a bible lesson, the other a sermon. one was on GOD's principles and the other about sovereignty. both are the same. GOD's laws are the laws of the world and HE is in complete control of the world. i'm not saying this is easy, because we have actual human nature to deal with. all throughout the bible you see individuals and societies that have fallen from HIS rules, and then you get to see the individual that is brave enough to bring GOD back to them.
the sin of being in control of our life has got to be the hardest sin to let go of. we are not GOD's equal. we will never be HIS equal. so why would we try to be; pride, selfishness, righteousness. last week i heard a story about an alcoholic. he decided to stop drinking. he didn't go to rehab, he just stopped. for over 3 years he fought the urge to drink and he overcame it. what if we looked at addictions this way? what if it wasn't really addiction? what if it was just our choice to continue the addiction? it is my choice to continue to hold onto things; no one else's.
i have sins that i committed years ago that still haunt me; i haven't let them go. sin has consequence. not only does it affect you, but it affects others around you. when we carry a past sin; it becomes an even bigger sin. when we can't let it go and cast it onto HIM then we are still sinning. sooner or later i have to give them up in my journey, or i will never be truly HIS. all of us have it with something; all of us. to think that we don't is the sin. being humble enough to admit that you carry it is a bigger step to letting HIM in to take control.
if i talk about GOD's principles to my children, but don't reflect that in my everyday life then i'm teaching them a lie. if you read scripture and it tells you how to live a christian life then why aren't we living it. if we fail and we don't seek forgiveness from HIM first and then the one we have wronged then we are too prideful. not only are we prideful about ourselves; we are too prideful in thinking that GOD will forgive us.
c.s. lewis described pride as a cancer; it is just that. it spreads and then we can't humble ourselves enough to see what we may have done wrong. this is my year of trying to let go. i have to let go these idols go. i have to rid my life of past hurts, past wrongs, past pride to live by HIS principles and HIS rules. that is HIS love for me.
"pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud. he who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he." proverbs 16:18-20
"do not love the world or the things in the world. if anyone loves the world, the love of the FATHER is not in HIM. for all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - is not of the FATHER but is of the world. and the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of GOD abides forever.
"for GOD has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 timothy 1:7
"they profess to know GOD, but in works they deny HIM, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work." titus 1:16
two things happened yesterday; one a bible lesson, the other a sermon. one was on GOD's principles and the other about sovereignty. both are the same. GOD's laws are the laws of the world and HE is in complete control of the world. i'm not saying this is easy, because we have actual human nature to deal with. all throughout the bible you see individuals and societies that have fallen from HIS rules, and then you get to see the individual that is brave enough to bring GOD back to them.
the sin of being in control of our life has got to be the hardest sin to let go of. we are not GOD's equal. we will never be HIS equal. so why would we try to be; pride, selfishness, righteousness. last week i heard a story about an alcoholic. he decided to stop drinking. he didn't go to rehab, he just stopped. for over 3 years he fought the urge to drink and he overcame it. what if we looked at addictions this way? what if it wasn't really addiction? what if it was just our choice to continue the addiction? it is my choice to continue to hold onto things; no one else's.
i have sins that i committed years ago that still haunt me; i haven't let them go. sin has consequence. not only does it affect you, but it affects others around you. when we carry a past sin; it becomes an even bigger sin. when we can't let it go and cast it onto HIM then we are still sinning. sooner or later i have to give them up in my journey, or i will never be truly HIS. all of us have it with something; all of us. to think that we don't is the sin. being humble enough to admit that you carry it is a bigger step to letting HIM in to take control.
if i talk about GOD's principles to my children, but don't reflect that in my everyday life then i'm teaching them a lie. if you read scripture and it tells you how to live a christian life then why aren't we living it. if we fail and we don't seek forgiveness from HIM first and then the one we have wronged then we are too prideful. not only are we prideful about ourselves; we are too prideful in thinking that GOD will forgive us.
c.s. lewis described pride as a cancer; it is just that. it spreads and then we can't humble ourselves enough to see what we may have done wrong. this is my year of trying to let go. i have to let go these idols go. i have to rid my life of past hurts, past wrongs, past pride to live by HIS principles and HIS rules. that is HIS love for me.
"pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud. he who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he." proverbs 16:18-20
"do not love the world or the things in the world. if anyone loves the world, the love of the FATHER is not in HIM. for all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - is not of the FATHER but is of the world. and the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of GOD abides forever.
"for GOD has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 timothy 1:7
"they profess to know GOD, but in works they deny HIM, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work." titus 1:16
Saturday, January 15, 2011
hearing the truth
hearing the truth is something that most of say we want, but do we really want to know? there is passage in matthew where CHRIST talks about the cost of following HIM and it pretty much tells you that you will hear the truth from HIM, but you may not like HIM for it. scripture is full of the truth whether we want to hear it, or not. we have become a nation where we would rather have our emotion fed than to hear the truth.
my husband and i are notorius, blame game fighters with each other. we both throw it each other's faces about what the other hasn't done, or has done. we both hate to admit our mistakes to each other in our marriage. this is one of the most destructive things about our marriage. neither one of us is always willing to accept the blame for the problem, instead of resolving the problem. i think a lot of people are this way. it is much easier to turn the blame on someone else than it is to face that we were wrong.
my parents are pretty "no nonsense" kinda people. my mom and dad really didn't believe in that term feed your children's self-esteem. i used to resent it, now it has prepared me for the very, harsh reality of the world. i really do believe that if they hadn't been this way i wouldn't have been able to handle having ms. when they told me that they were proud of me recently i knew that i had earned that compliment from them. they would not have given it to me if they weren't.
GOD said that we would have hardship and trials; HE told us the truth. HE said that we would have to work hard for what we earn in this life; HE told us the truth. why all of the sudden do we have to give respect and praise where it isn't deserved? my husband gets up every morning and goes to provide for himself and his family. i respect his drive to do that, because a lot of men don't do that. the truth is this is what GOD told men to do. every morning i get up to take care of my children, because GOD gave me them and GOD told me this is what women are to do. it doesn't matter how i feel, it is my job to raise these young men.
i see it this way, would i have respect for myself if i didn't provide for them in this way; no. i haven't earned that respect from my husband, my children, OR GOD if i just lay there. a friend did something for me this past week that showed me how much she respects and loves me. she told me the truth.
for the past couple of weeks my husband and i have been looking for a larger home. the reason is because at some point my mother will be moving in with us. she is by herself and i will not be able to physically always care for my children the way i do now. that's the harsh reality of it. we found a beautiful, two story home that is us all the way, but i'm not going to be able to walk up the stairs forever. my friend told me this truth and i had to accept that. she's right, because that is the hand i have been dealt with having MS.
the funny thing about this is that years ago i would have been so offended and hurt by this truth that i probably wouldn't have talked to her again. CHRIST told us to tell the truth of a situation, not sugar coat it. if we are doing something wrong we are supposed to hold each accountable for that. this is now called being too harsh and offensive.
this is all about growing and learning from HIM. it's ok to say the truth no matter how much it hurts. i don't always want to hear the truth, because then i have to face my own failures. paul in 1 corinthians 13 talks about love. he is talking to the church about the love of CHRIST and what that means. love is speaking the truth, love is sometimes harsh. it's a hard thing to tell someone you love the truth, but CHRIST commands you to.
"So the spies questioned him: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth." Luke 20:21
"They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen." romans 1:25
"6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 corinthians 13:6-7
my husband and i are notorius, blame game fighters with each other. we both throw it each other's faces about what the other hasn't done, or has done. we both hate to admit our mistakes to each other in our marriage. this is one of the most destructive things about our marriage. neither one of us is always willing to accept the blame for the problem, instead of resolving the problem. i think a lot of people are this way. it is much easier to turn the blame on someone else than it is to face that we were wrong.
my parents are pretty "no nonsense" kinda people. my mom and dad really didn't believe in that term feed your children's self-esteem. i used to resent it, now it has prepared me for the very, harsh reality of the world. i really do believe that if they hadn't been this way i wouldn't have been able to handle having ms. when they told me that they were proud of me recently i knew that i had earned that compliment from them. they would not have given it to me if they weren't.
GOD said that we would have hardship and trials; HE told us the truth. HE said that we would have to work hard for what we earn in this life; HE told us the truth. why all of the sudden do we have to give respect and praise where it isn't deserved? my husband gets up every morning and goes to provide for himself and his family. i respect his drive to do that, because a lot of men don't do that. the truth is this is what GOD told men to do. every morning i get up to take care of my children, because GOD gave me them and GOD told me this is what women are to do. it doesn't matter how i feel, it is my job to raise these young men.
i see it this way, would i have respect for myself if i didn't provide for them in this way; no. i haven't earned that respect from my husband, my children, OR GOD if i just lay there. a friend did something for me this past week that showed me how much she respects and loves me. she told me the truth.
for the past couple of weeks my husband and i have been looking for a larger home. the reason is because at some point my mother will be moving in with us. she is by herself and i will not be able to physically always care for my children the way i do now. that's the harsh reality of it. we found a beautiful, two story home that is us all the way, but i'm not going to be able to walk up the stairs forever. my friend told me this truth and i had to accept that. she's right, because that is the hand i have been dealt with having MS.
the funny thing about this is that years ago i would have been so offended and hurt by this truth that i probably wouldn't have talked to her again. CHRIST told us to tell the truth of a situation, not sugar coat it. if we are doing something wrong we are supposed to hold each accountable for that. this is now called being too harsh and offensive.
this is all about growing and learning from HIM. it's ok to say the truth no matter how much it hurts. i don't always want to hear the truth, because then i have to face my own failures. paul in 1 corinthians 13 talks about love. he is talking to the church about the love of CHRIST and what that means. love is speaking the truth, love is sometimes harsh. it's a hard thing to tell someone you love the truth, but CHRIST commands you to.
"So the spies questioned him: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth." Luke 20:21
"They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen." romans 1:25
"6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 corinthians 13:6-7
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