from the moment we come into the world we begin our training to live and learn. parents begin training their children to do the little things, and then we start training them to go to school. for 18 years we train them to become adults so they can go out and live their lives. what an amazing process. our whole lives are training to get to heaven whether we believe in HIM, or not; every knee will bow in to HIM.
"For it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” romans 14:11
my husband had offering duty at our old church on sunday. our old pastor is very well known not only in the city, but in the country. he was doing a tribute for 9/11 and the security was tight at the church. a member went up to one of the guards and proceeded to tell the man that they could have spent all of that money on education in our state. just think if we didn't have that security and something had happend. i sometimes wonder if people forget that we are just as a vulnerable as the rest of world now after 9/11. we should be so grateful to those individuals that are willing to sacrifice their life to protect another. GOD gave them this training to do this humbly for others.
last week was huge a learning process for my husband and i in what GOD wants from us; the good and the bad. it was part of our training on living our lives to glorify HIM, and what HE has given us. what we witnessed as a couple last week was by far the most beautiful gift of humanity we have ever seen. it wasn't just the physical, tangible objects that were given it was the prayer and blessings that were given. the verse "love your neighbor as you would yourself" was everywhere around us. what a humbling and beautiful experience.
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself." matthew 22:37
the lessons learned will be with us for the rest of our lives on how we are to live our lives. we have been trained to do HIS job more fully now. i hope and pray that it is the same for everyone that was involved. such beautiful people in the world.
when i first started this journey the bigger picture was not known to me yet. i just read a quote that said that even though we let HIM in our life does not mean that it is going to be easy. i have learned that on too many occasions. I could have lost my faith HIM turned my back on HIM, it has only made me stronger and our home stronger. what MS has taught me about people is that they are good despite any fault they have. what MS has taught me about myself is that i am a good person regardless of any fault i have. what MS has taught me the most is that HE does exist because he gave me a burden that i will always have to face whether i want to, or not. HE will pull through. HE is my constant reminder of what is good and what is bad. i am accountable to HIM only.
there will be no way in my lifetime that i will be able to repay those that have helped me and my family over the years. when i am sick i literally do not have to do anything except get better. my parents work together to get their daughter well. my friends bring our meals, take care of our boys, do our laundry and send prayers up to GOD for healing. these individuals are so loved by us, and are so beautiful . they are the testament to the beauty of what GOD can do in our lives.
i have cried so many times with happiness that GOD gave me these individuals in my life. i look up to each one of these women, and their hearts. i can only hope and pray that i can be worthy enough to be the daughter my parents want, and be the friend to these women that i have been graced to have in my life.
i have a painting in my living room that a friend from high school painted. it is my favorite painting in my house. it is of a woman and her beauty. she is strong, beautiful, courageous, delicate, and humble just in her form. everyday i stare at this painting and i fall in love with it more. i am amazed at my friend's talent to be able to create something so beautiful for me to see everyday.
i will listen to HIM more now about what he wants. i am not going to ignore HIM the way i do sometimes. if HE wants me to do it i will do it. i can't ignore what HE wants in my life just because i am scared of the outcome. fear makes us forget HIM. it is always easier to give into sins then to fight the hard fight. all of these things that are happening around us that are hardships is our training. how we handle it is going to be what matters to HIM. what we are willing to do for another no matter what...that is love and HIM.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." proverbs 3:
5
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
this is my last posting on facebook for the blog
I have a dear friend now that was not a close friend years ago. When I first met her she could quote scripture just like my grandma. She has the bible memorized. She would quote scripture to me at a time when I really needed it, but I would get so angry when she said it to me. I didn't want to hear it.
My perception of Christians was that they were judgmental of how others lived and they didn't have compassion towards others, or empathy. I thought when you went into a church they could tell that you didn't even know the books of the bible. I thought they could see how damaged my heart was, and how sinful it was. I was in my early twenties then and I just really wanted to have a good time. I didn't completely understand about the world and suffering. I still don't understand it.
I grew up in a great home and was not physically in need of anything. The biggest sadness I had faced in my life was my parent's divorce. It destroyed me on every level. I just could not move past it and took me getting sick for it to happen. My parents are human and they made mistakes with each other, but that doesn't mean that they aren't incredible individuals. They actually worked together this past Friday sorting and packing boxes for the Bastrop donation drive. I am still in shock.
First of all knowing how my parents feel about each other I was so proud of them. Out of sheer love and respect for me they put aside their differences to work together. They both have committed their lives to acts of service; veterans and children. This is a huge testament for me, my brothers, and my sister on how we are to live as adults. Their mistakes are few compared to how they have lived with their hearts.
My husband told me I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am too sensitive. He is right. I am too sensitive. I get hurt very easily. I hate feeling that way. He also told me because of that I am willing to do far more than what is asked of me for another. I have made horrible mistakes over this journey that I will now have to learn from and forgive myself for. I will move forward and not look back, because it is not worth it in the long run. It will only damage my heart. HE just wants us to realize it, accept it, confess it, and let it go.
Politics has now become more of passion than reason. I have slammed our president so many times and have not been supportive of anything that he has tried to do. I don't agree with his policies, because it takes more of individual’s livelihoods. That’s it. I believe in social security, Medicare, Medicaid, education, defense, welfare, unemployment, and affordable healthcare. I just don't believe we should spend more on it until we reform it. Every one of these programs is needed programs. I think all Americans agree that do want these things. We just want them fixed without having our taxes go up so we are forced to give more than we can.
This will be my last posting that I place on facebook. This is has become offensive to too many people. I will no longer post it there. My political posts are going to be very few, because I have realized this is not something people want to think about and that is ok. I believe in GOD and politics, but my acts are going to outweigh my words far more. Out of all the things I learned last week with the donations is that seeing is believing. Acting is HIM. I had to see truly the impact of tragedy to understand HIM and what HE wants. All good things come out of tragedy.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ..." 1 Corinthians 13:1
My perception of Christians was that they were judgmental of how others lived and they didn't have compassion towards others, or empathy. I thought when you went into a church they could tell that you didn't even know the books of the bible. I thought they could see how damaged my heart was, and how sinful it was. I was in my early twenties then and I just really wanted to have a good time. I didn't completely understand about the world and suffering. I still don't understand it.
I grew up in a great home and was not physically in need of anything. The biggest sadness I had faced in my life was my parent's divorce. It destroyed me on every level. I just could not move past it and took me getting sick for it to happen. My parents are human and they made mistakes with each other, but that doesn't mean that they aren't incredible individuals. They actually worked together this past Friday sorting and packing boxes for the Bastrop donation drive. I am still in shock.
First of all knowing how my parents feel about each other I was so proud of them. Out of sheer love and respect for me they put aside their differences to work together. They both have committed their lives to acts of service; veterans and children. This is a huge testament for me, my brothers, and my sister on how we are to live as adults. Their mistakes are few compared to how they have lived with their hearts.
My husband told me I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am too sensitive. He is right. I am too sensitive. I get hurt very easily. I hate feeling that way. He also told me because of that I am willing to do far more than what is asked of me for another. I have made horrible mistakes over this journey that I will now have to learn from and forgive myself for. I will move forward and not look back, because it is not worth it in the long run. It will only damage my heart. HE just wants us to realize it, accept it, confess it, and let it go.
Politics has now become more of passion than reason. I have slammed our president so many times and have not been supportive of anything that he has tried to do. I don't agree with his policies, because it takes more of individual’s livelihoods. That’s it. I believe in social security, Medicare, Medicaid, education, defense, welfare, unemployment, and affordable healthcare. I just don't believe we should spend more on it until we reform it. Every one of these programs is needed programs. I think all Americans agree that do want these things. We just want them fixed without having our taxes go up so we are forced to give more than we can.
This will be my last posting that I place on facebook. This is has become offensive to too many people. I will no longer post it there. My political posts are going to be very few, because I have realized this is not something people want to think about and that is ok. I believe in GOD and politics, but my acts are going to outweigh my words far more. Out of all the things I learned last week with the donations is that seeing is believing. Acting is HIM. I had to see truly the impact of tragedy to understand HIM and what HE wants. All good things come out of tragedy.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ..." 1 Corinthians 13:1
Saturday, September 10, 2011
the great state of texas
we are amazed and humbled by the generosity of others. when we started this process i really just thought it would be my sweet husband and i doing it. what this has become has been an outpouring of beautiful hearts. what an amazing city we live in. it reminds me of the outpouring after katrina and ike hit. we will continue to help as long as we need to.
although, there is devastation around us what GOD is doing in peoples hearts is amazing. whether you attend church or not, whether you believe in HIM or not, what you are doing is HIM. i am little scared and very nervous about today. emotions will be running high.
the greatest sadness on our hearts is knowing that it will take years for these individuals to re-build their lives, and what they have lost. if you have prayed, shared, donated, or given money you have earned a jewel in your crown.
"Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!" Psalm 150:1
pray for us today and for those that we will be meeting. we'll posting pics as we go along and sharing.
GOD BLESS everyone in this great state.
although, there is devastation around us what GOD is doing in peoples hearts is amazing. whether you attend church or not, whether you believe in HIM or not, what you are doing is HIM. i am little scared and very nervous about today. emotions will be running high.
the greatest sadness on our hearts is knowing that it will take years for these individuals to re-build their lives, and what they have lost. if you have prayed, shared, donated, or given money you have earned a jewel in your crown.
"Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!" Psalm 150:1
pray for us today and for those that we will be meeting. we'll posting pics as we go along and sharing.
GOD BLESS everyone in this great state.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
ring of fire
Last night while I was watching the debates I was thinking; how is one man going to solve these problems? It takes a village to solve problems. Maybe we have too many chiefs running around, and not enough Indians. I am in awe of so many right now. My heart is breaking for those that have lost everything, and blessed to see those that are willing to give.
Saturday morning I will be driving with my husband and friends to the fire. I have no idea what to expect when we get there. I already know that this will change our lives forever, and politics has nothing to do with it. I am humbled, sad and just a little annoyed with so many things right now. We are going to Bastrop, because it has been the hardest hit. I have a feeling though that the surrounding areas of Houston are next.
Individuals will argue that our governor should have been here last night. In some ways I agree, but when I looked at him the exhaustion and stress were all over his face. I have been reading stories about the cuts in our fire departments and that is why they can’t contain the fires as quickly. I haven’t heard one word from our president, and it proves in my heart even more that he should not be the leader of this country.
The 10 year anniversary of 9/11 is coming up, and it makes sad that we have gone backwards instead of forward. If it doesn’t affect us and our daily lives we really don’t care. This isn’t just about our relationship with HIM it is about what we have not been willing to give up. This is about all those that we blame for our problems. We can’t even take a hard look in the mirror and realize what we have done, or not done.
When I woke up Tuesday and told my husband that I thought we should take donations down, he said we’ll talk about it. I just decided not to wait. So many times in my life I have said I would give and I didn’t. The thought of men being robbed of their homes, women not being able to protect their children and a child not having clothing or food just killed me. I can’t get there fast enough to help with as much as I can.
I have had people ask me how I am doing this financially. I am doing this because of one man’s gift to me, and his love for his family. My uncle was one of the most generous men I knew. See, I could have just bought a bigger house, better cars, gone on luxury vacations, and spent it on myself and my boys. If I had done those things it would have been an insult to his memory. We can always make more money.
In the next month I will attend an event to honor him. I have to admit that it will not be easy for me, because of circumstances that happened while he was ill. If I can’t forgive then I have learned nothing from reading scripture. We must move forward and learn from our mistakes.
I am overwhelmed with the generosity of every individual that has donated to helping our state, and these individuals. Amazing hearts all around us. We are sending many blessings up for you and your families. We will be continuing our journey with this for as long as takes to help our neighbors. We have no excuse as a nation to ever ignore another in need, and the government is not going to solve that.
You may be thinking this is a guilt note. This isn’t a guilt note, and if you do feel guilty that will be your issue. I have no problem anymore telling anyone about what is right and wrong. I’m tired of excuses really about most things. Make it happen if you want it, if HE is telling you to do it, do it. I ignored HIS voice many, many times and talked the talk. There is no way that I could not give, because of the tremendous love and support I have had since I was diagnosed.
My husband is worried that I will get sick next week. That’s ok because it is small price for me to pay to HIM.
Thanks to all of you that have taken time out of your life to help me in this effort. I appreciate each one of you. I cannot even express, nor do enough for you. Don’t ever hesitate to ask us for help. We’ll be there for you.
"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." colossians 3:17
Saturday morning I will be driving with my husband and friends to the fire. I have no idea what to expect when we get there. I already know that this will change our lives forever, and politics has nothing to do with it. I am humbled, sad and just a little annoyed with so many things right now. We are going to Bastrop, because it has been the hardest hit. I have a feeling though that the surrounding areas of Houston are next.
Individuals will argue that our governor should have been here last night. In some ways I agree, but when I looked at him the exhaustion and stress were all over his face. I have been reading stories about the cuts in our fire departments and that is why they can’t contain the fires as quickly. I haven’t heard one word from our president, and it proves in my heart even more that he should not be the leader of this country.
The 10 year anniversary of 9/11 is coming up, and it makes sad that we have gone backwards instead of forward. If it doesn’t affect us and our daily lives we really don’t care. This isn’t just about our relationship with HIM it is about what we have not been willing to give up. This is about all those that we blame for our problems. We can’t even take a hard look in the mirror and realize what we have done, or not done.
When I woke up Tuesday and told my husband that I thought we should take donations down, he said we’ll talk about it. I just decided not to wait. So many times in my life I have said I would give and I didn’t. The thought of men being robbed of their homes, women not being able to protect their children and a child not having clothing or food just killed me. I can’t get there fast enough to help with as much as I can.
I have had people ask me how I am doing this financially. I am doing this because of one man’s gift to me, and his love for his family. My uncle was one of the most generous men I knew. See, I could have just bought a bigger house, better cars, gone on luxury vacations, and spent it on myself and my boys. If I had done those things it would have been an insult to his memory. We can always make more money.
In the next month I will attend an event to honor him. I have to admit that it will not be easy for me, because of circumstances that happened while he was ill. If I can’t forgive then I have learned nothing from reading scripture. We must move forward and learn from our mistakes.
I am overwhelmed with the generosity of every individual that has donated to helping our state, and these individuals. Amazing hearts all around us. We are sending many blessings up for you and your families. We will be continuing our journey with this for as long as takes to help our neighbors. We have no excuse as a nation to ever ignore another in need, and the government is not going to solve that.
You may be thinking this is a guilt note. This isn’t a guilt note, and if you do feel guilty that will be your issue. I have no problem anymore telling anyone about what is right and wrong. I’m tired of excuses really about most things. Make it happen if you want it, if HE is telling you to do it, do it. I ignored HIS voice many, many times and talked the talk. There is no way that I could not give, because of the tremendous love and support I have had since I was diagnosed.
My husband is worried that I will get sick next week. That’s ok because it is small price for me to pay to HIM.
Thanks to all of you that have taken time out of your life to help me in this effort. I appreciate each one of you. I cannot even express, nor do enough for you. Don’t ever hesitate to ask us for help. We’ll be there for you.
"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." colossians 3:17
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
how we love in the end
What it really comes down to is how we love in the end. I read once that people like to think GOD is their personal assistant. They just wait to see what HE is going to them in their lives when they read HIS words; all the good things. I wish that was true. We like to think we are entitled to HIS blessings without ever really working for it. I get that, and I have done that on more than a few occasions.
We are being slammed with rhetoric about what our financials should look like now since the collapse in 2008. We must buy gold, land, stockpile food and hope that we can live through another wave of money dropping out from under us. Everyone is yelling for more money, because they are in so much debt. I don't think I have heard one person say, including myself, say we're ok what can we do for you. I guess we didn’t think about the natural disasters that would come along. I guess we stopped thinking about the increasing threat of a bigger war.
All the people that are shouting their beliefs about right and wrong well i have a question for you; what are you willing to give up for your beliefs? we can argue all we want about who should be president, but in the end is going to be about what you didn't do not the president. one issue in this state that drives me crazy is education. i have heard teachers and parents complain about it. you know what is sick the only thing we are complaining about is what we don't want to give up for it. teachers want more money and benefits. parents want to throw their children off on someone else to raise and educate. shame on us. the real question is what are we as individuals willing to do for it, and give up. personally i don't want a teacher that is only complaining about what they are not getting from the state. when they do that it shows what's really in their heart, and it is not the passion of teaching.
What in the world are we supposed to do? We can’t really plan for a rainy day. We could try and so many did, but then it was gone. The only thing that is constant is HIM. That’s it. We never know what each day will bring us. My anger at politicians and the government is starting to soften. I guess it had to run its course. My writings are my outlet.
We are fighting about what we don’t want to pay for, but I’m starting to think that isn’t really the truth. The truth is we just don’t want to have to take care of these things on our own. We really don't want to take care of our parents when they are elderly. We really don't want to have to provide everything for our child’s education. We don’t really want to pay for our healthcare, because we envy the “Cadillac plans” of those that have worked for it. We don’t want higher gas prices, but yet we want 2 or 3 cars. We just don’t want to have to give up our stuff and what this country thinks we need, or what we think we are entitled to.
I have been getting it wrong all these years about my relationship with HIM. I have been reading HIS words about what HE wants, but not realizing what I would have to give up for it. My own selfishness and greed got in the way. My view on the state of this country is just that; what I didn’t want, or don't want to give up. If I did have to give up then I would actually have to take some responsibility for my parents and my children.
We are mad about wars, but yet we have forgotten the evil of those that hate us? Have we forgotten what 9/11 was really about; hate. We are told now that we can only have sympathy for Islam. I can have sympathy for those that have been taught to hate, but all that really means is their hearts must change. We can’t change another’s heart. We can only pray to GOD that it will change.
Our lives are not about the blessings we receive it is about what we are willing to do for others. As a mother I am willing to give up my sanity over their childhood years, because in the end I would do anything for them. It is not about me. GOD wants us to love HIM first, but what we are willing to do after is what is going to matter most to HIM. We will stumble and fall. We will face trials that we can’t even understand, or imagine.
My prayer this week is to remember that my life is not my own; it is HIS. My prayer is that if someone blesses me I remember this is not for my glory, or my husband’s. This is for my neighbors that I am to love as myself, and do. I pray that my mind and heart do not go to anger to those that don’t give. I pray that I lose every ounce of selfishness that I have in my heart. We can become a little too puffed up with pride in our good deeds. That is what has happened in this country. It’s not the money it is about the show.
When we do something for someone else don’t expect a thank you, and when we don’t get one don’t get angry about it. Do it because you want to do it without any reward to yourself. Do it because you are willing to give something to another not because someone told you to, or you have to. I sat in that pew for over 8 years listening and thinking about on how GOD wanted me live instead of actually doing it. It makes me sick to my stomach what I wasn’t willing to do for HIM. It doesn’t matter what church we sit in on Sunday mornings. We can worship from anywhere. What is going to matter is why we didn’t do what HE instructed us to do; including myself .
We have to give up all of the sin of greed, envy, jealousy, pride and self-righteousness. I pray everyday no matter what that we have the strength to fight it. We are not worthy of HIM, and HE will remind just how small we are. GOD wants us to be better people, because HE gave us HIS SON. What is truly in your heart?
“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23
We are being slammed with rhetoric about what our financials should look like now since the collapse in 2008. We must buy gold, land, stockpile food and hope that we can live through another wave of money dropping out from under us. Everyone is yelling for more money, because they are in so much debt. I don't think I have heard one person say, including myself, say we're ok what can we do for you. I guess we didn’t think about the natural disasters that would come along. I guess we stopped thinking about the increasing threat of a bigger war.
All the people that are shouting their beliefs about right and wrong well i have a question for you; what are you willing to give up for your beliefs? we can argue all we want about who should be president, but in the end is going to be about what you didn't do not the president. one issue in this state that drives me crazy is education. i have heard teachers and parents complain about it. you know what is sick the only thing we are complaining about is what we don't want to give up for it. teachers want more money and benefits. parents want to throw their children off on someone else to raise and educate. shame on us. the real question is what are we as individuals willing to do for it, and give up. personally i don't want a teacher that is only complaining about what they are not getting from the state. when they do that it shows what's really in their heart, and it is not the passion of teaching.
What in the world are we supposed to do? We can’t really plan for a rainy day. We could try and so many did, but then it was gone. The only thing that is constant is HIM. That’s it. We never know what each day will bring us. My anger at politicians and the government is starting to soften. I guess it had to run its course. My writings are my outlet.
We are fighting about what we don’t want to pay for, but I’m starting to think that isn’t really the truth. The truth is we just don’t want to have to take care of these things on our own. We really don't want to take care of our parents when they are elderly. We really don't want to have to provide everything for our child’s education. We don’t really want to pay for our healthcare, because we envy the “Cadillac plans” of those that have worked for it. We don’t want higher gas prices, but yet we want 2 or 3 cars. We just don’t want to have to give up our stuff and what this country thinks we need, or what we think we are entitled to.
I have been getting it wrong all these years about my relationship with HIM. I have been reading HIS words about what HE wants, but not realizing what I would have to give up for it. My own selfishness and greed got in the way. My view on the state of this country is just that; what I didn’t want, or don't want to give up. If I did have to give up then I would actually have to take some responsibility for my parents and my children.
We are mad about wars, but yet we have forgotten the evil of those that hate us? Have we forgotten what 9/11 was really about; hate. We are told now that we can only have sympathy for Islam. I can have sympathy for those that have been taught to hate, but all that really means is their hearts must change. We can’t change another’s heart. We can only pray to GOD that it will change.
Our lives are not about the blessings we receive it is about what we are willing to do for others. As a mother I am willing to give up my sanity over their childhood years, because in the end I would do anything for them. It is not about me. GOD wants us to love HIM first, but what we are willing to do after is what is going to matter most to HIM. We will stumble and fall. We will face trials that we can’t even understand, or imagine.
My prayer this week is to remember that my life is not my own; it is HIS. My prayer is that if someone blesses me I remember this is not for my glory, or my husband’s. This is for my neighbors that I am to love as myself, and do. I pray that my mind and heart do not go to anger to those that don’t give. I pray that I lose every ounce of selfishness that I have in my heart. We can become a little too puffed up with pride in our good deeds. That is what has happened in this country. It’s not the money it is about the show.
When we do something for someone else don’t expect a thank you, and when we don’t get one don’t get angry about it. Do it because you want to do it without any reward to yourself. Do it because you are willing to give something to another not because someone told you to, or you have to. I sat in that pew for over 8 years listening and thinking about on how GOD wanted me live instead of actually doing it. It makes me sick to my stomach what I wasn’t willing to do for HIM. It doesn’t matter what church we sit in on Sunday mornings. We can worship from anywhere. What is going to matter is why we didn’t do what HE instructed us to do; including myself .
We have to give up all of the sin of greed, envy, jealousy, pride and self-righteousness. I pray everyday no matter what that we have the strength to fight it. We are not worthy of HIM, and HE will remind just how small we are. GOD wants us to be better people, because HE gave us HIS SON. What is truly in your heart?
“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23
Monday, September 5, 2011
how is your soul today?
How is your soul today? I heard that question from a pastor yesterday. Great question. The pastor was teaching the book of James. I had forgotten how much I love the book of James. My husband and I are searching for a new church home. We have been on this new journey for awhile now. We were just doing what we thought was what GOD wanted from us, and not really seeing. The bigger picture has finally been seen.
Reading or hearing scripture over time can become numbing. We hear it, we know it, but we don’t live it. 2010 was a whole year of not living it, but I was trying desperately to get it back. My whole journey had become just about the acts, and not feeling it in my heart. I listened finally, and stopped for a while. I was missing what HE really wanted, and I wasn’t giving fully to HIM.
Yesterday afternoon I was watching a sci-fi movie about individuals that had been created just for the means of harvesting their organs for research. A group of individualsraised them from the time of infancy; teaching them, nurturing them, and preparing them for their destiny. At the end of the movie two of the characters realized that they could love deeply, but they weren’t allowed to live their lives together. They were told years before that through their art they could get a deferment so they could have a few more years. The truth was that some of the adults in the program were trying to prove that these individuals had souls, so they could put an end to the program.
You would think that I would be for advanced research of MS, but I’m not. I cannot condone medical research that would hurt another life. I am going on almost a year now without having an MS attack. Since I was diagnosed this has not happened. I could say that it was the new MS drug they added, but I am in more pain now than a year ago. I have actually had to take more meds because of the long term damage of the treatments over the years. I finally just in the last month learned how to say no, step back, and say “that just does not feel right.”
By stepping back I awoke from some sort of dream that I had been in. I am grateful for the individuals that helped begin the journey, but in the end I looked around and they all had moved on to search for a deeper relationship with GOD. They are still apart of my life and they are living out HIS word. I asked myself the question; what I am holding on to when I know something is just not right? My gut was telling me to see what was happening right in front of my eyes.
About five months ago I started drinking more after years of not really doing that. It was starting to become my escape. Five o’clock would roll around and I would have a few drinks. My hands and feet burn all the time from my MS. Some days it is unbearable. With the burning my pain intensifies and feel likes torture. I justified the drinking because of that. I felt overwhelmed with my children, so that calmed me down. I knew that it was wrong. I knew that I was going down a path that would hurt me and then ultimately my family. So I stopped. I did it again a couple of weeks ago and the next day I felt physically sick, but the guilt of it was worse. I just have to learn self-control, or just not do it at all.
From October of 2010 this is what has happened that made me pull back. My grandmother died, my uncle died, my dad had to have heart surgery because his stints had stopped working, and we had a huge disagreement with my husband’s family. All of this occurred within six weeks. Pre-ceding these events we had attended a love and respect conference about marriage. Man what a wake up call in the next 10 months. After January more started to happen, and this time God was showing me something that I had been ignoring with our church for a very long time.
If it can't be backed up by scripture it shouldn’t be there. If another Christian from your church is telling you that the church won’t help another, because they are not a member of the church it is wrong. If a pastor is telling you that you can’t discuss a nation that is in great turmoil with other members it is wrong. If your church is asking you for more money, but isn’t willing to cut the un-necessary spending it is wrong. If they fire someone, because of church politics and they are not willing to resolve a “Christian conflict,” but choose to ignore it, it is wrong. I am pretty bitter about this right now, pretty raw in my emotion, but I will move forward from it. I just need a little time to heal.
What is worse is that I allowed it to happen, and just went with the flow. I haven’t been doing that lately. I have been pushing the envelope by questioning things more out there, because I can’t ignore it. I can’t ignore someone’s suffering. I can’t ignore a nation that is hurting. I can’t blame someone else for what is going on when I chose to ignore it myself. The mirage of abundance and prosperity has fallen. We are finding out now that people really didn’t have it all. We are finding out that people are broken. We are finding out now is not the time where we can ignore things any longer.
GOD does not owe you anything. You owe HIM for your life and everything you have life. HE bought you with HIS SON's blood. If you've chosen to ignore HIS words and live another life that is not pleasing to HIM that is your issue. I screw up all the time. I will choose the wrong thing because it is easier, and it doesn't work. I make horrible decisions, and I think that it will work out it end. It usually just gets worse over time. I am taking steps back now and really thinking about something before I do it. I am listening to HIM and choosing to do some of the hard things, because I know is the right thing to do.
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. 26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.” James 1:19-21
Reading or hearing scripture over time can become numbing. We hear it, we know it, but we don’t live it. 2010 was a whole year of not living it, but I was trying desperately to get it back. My whole journey had become just about the acts, and not feeling it in my heart. I listened finally, and stopped for a while. I was missing what HE really wanted, and I wasn’t giving fully to HIM.
Yesterday afternoon I was watching a sci-fi movie about individuals that had been created just for the means of harvesting their organs for research. A group of individualsraised them from the time of infancy; teaching them, nurturing them, and preparing them for their destiny. At the end of the movie two of the characters realized that they could love deeply, but they weren’t allowed to live their lives together. They were told years before that through their art they could get a deferment so they could have a few more years. The truth was that some of the adults in the program were trying to prove that these individuals had souls, so they could put an end to the program.
You would think that I would be for advanced research of MS, but I’m not. I cannot condone medical research that would hurt another life. I am going on almost a year now without having an MS attack. Since I was diagnosed this has not happened. I could say that it was the new MS drug they added, but I am in more pain now than a year ago. I have actually had to take more meds because of the long term damage of the treatments over the years. I finally just in the last month learned how to say no, step back, and say “that just does not feel right.”
By stepping back I awoke from some sort of dream that I had been in. I am grateful for the individuals that helped begin the journey, but in the end I looked around and they all had moved on to search for a deeper relationship with GOD. They are still apart of my life and they are living out HIS word. I asked myself the question; what I am holding on to when I know something is just not right? My gut was telling me to see what was happening right in front of my eyes.
About five months ago I started drinking more after years of not really doing that. It was starting to become my escape. Five o’clock would roll around and I would have a few drinks. My hands and feet burn all the time from my MS. Some days it is unbearable. With the burning my pain intensifies and feel likes torture. I justified the drinking because of that. I felt overwhelmed with my children, so that calmed me down. I knew that it was wrong. I knew that I was going down a path that would hurt me and then ultimately my family. So I stopped. I did it again a couple of weeks ago and the next day I felt physically sick, but the guilt of it was worse. I just have to learn self-control, or just not do it at all.
From October of 2010 this is what has happened that made me pull back. My grandmother died, my uncle died, my dad had to have heart surgery because his stints had stopped working, and we had a huge disagreement with my husband’s family. All of this occurred within six weeks. Pre-ceding these events we had attended a love and respect conference about marriage. Man what a wake up call in the next 10 months. After January more started to happen, and this time God was showing me something that I had been ignoring with our church for a very long time.
If it can't be backed up by scripture it shouldn’t be there. If another Christian from your church is telling you that the church won’t help another, because they are not a member of the church it is wrong. If a pastor is telling you that you can’t discuss a nation that is in great turmoil with other members it is wrong. If your church is asking you for more money, but isn’t willing to cut the un-necessary spending it is wrong. If they fire someone, because of church politics and they are not willing to resolve a “Christian conflict,” but choose to ignore it, it is wrong. I am pretty bitter about this right now, pretty raw in my emotion, but I will move forward from it. I just need a little time to heal.
What is worse is that I allowed it to happen, and just went with the flow. I haven’t been doing that lately. I have been pushing the envelope by questioning things more out there, because I can’t ignore it. I can’t ignore someone’s suffering. I can’t ignore a nation that is hurting. I can’t blame someone else for what is going on when I chose to ignore it myself. The mirage of abundance and prosperity has fallen. We are finding out now that people really didn’t have it all. We are finding out that people are broken. We are finding out now is not the time where we can ignore things any longer.
GOD does not owe you anything. You owe HIM for your life and everything you have life. HE bought you with HIS SON's blood. If you've chosen to ignore HIS words and live another life that is not pleasing to HIM that is your issue. I screw up all the time. I will choose the wrong thing because it is easier, and it doesn't work. I make horrible decisions, and I think that it will work out it end. It usually just gets worse over time. I am taking steps back now and really thinking about something before I do it. I am listening to HIM and choosing to do some of the hard things, because I know is the right thing to do.
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. 26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.” James 1:19-21
Friday, September 2, 2011
slavery
We define slavery in this country as a white man owning a black man. We fought a war to end it. We fought during the civil rights movement for equality, and we still have severe issues in this country with race. I don’t understand, and I really wish someone could explain it to me. We cannot erase the past, and we cannot change the ignorance of another human being unless they are willing to change their heart.
Martin Luther King Jar is one of my heroes. His words, sermons, passion and the belief that equality could be achieved are a powerful legacy for the United States. I have a question though what if we could change our relationship with Christ with just a few words; He is our master and we are His slaves. What if every Christian saw themselves as God’s slave?
God looks at out hearts not the color of our skin. Why would he have created different colors of skin if He thought we weren’t equal? He looks at each person individually. Every knee will bow before God. I had a conversation with a friend some time ago that is black, and I asked what he thought about race in this country. He told me that he teaches his children that there will always be individuals that are ignorant and racist towards them, because of the color of their skin. I am teaching my children the same thing.
I am tired of hearing those in leadership suggest that the American people are racist because they support the constitution and balanced budgets. I wonder if they are saying that because now someone is going to have to prove to others that can do it, and it has nothing to do with the color of their skin or circumstance. In this country we have paid the price for slavery. We can apologize for so long. It is time to forgive, and move forward.
We have provided equal opportunity laws, discrimination laws, grants, loans, colleges, and even changed an entire race to be labeled “African American.“ What else can we do? Every individual that died in this country for a black man to be treated equally must have died in vain then. I feel sorry for people that they don’t realize what the government is doing to them in “social programs. It is just another form of slavery. They want to own you and control how you live your life, your thoughts, and what they define as righteous.
Every time I hear the word nigger out of a black man or woman’s mouth I cringe. When I was 6 years I heard this word from another individual. I repeated it to my mother. I thought she was going to slap me. She told me to never to say that word, or call someone that word because you are saying a person should be treated like animal. When Obama was elected I thought finally maybe we can move past this. I thought maybe so many in the black community would finally get it that they can achieve everything in the United States if they set their minds to it. Well, that hasn’t happened, because he continues to allow the rhetoric of the individuals in his party and those that support him accuse others of racism.
Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Sheila Jackson Lee, Nancy Pelosi and so many others have said he can’t stuff because he is a black man. Would these individuals even have jobs if they stopped with this crap? They would actually have to prove to the American people that they can achieve more than just pulling the race card.
Definition of nigger in the Webster dictionary:
usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a black person
usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a member of any dark-skinned race
a member of a socially disadvantaged class of persons
“Nigger in senses 1 and 2 can be found in the works of such writers of the past as Joseph Conrad, Mark Twain, and Charles Dickens, but it now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English. Its use by and among blacks is not always intended or taken as offensive, but, except in sense 3, it is otherwise a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry.”
I would like to convict the black community is this country to try and stop this rhetoric. If you think the white man is trying to hold you down then explain to me why there are so many successful black men and women is this country? So many in the Democratic Party, and those in society are telling you that you are not worthy as a man or woman. They are telling that you that you are not intelligent enough to succeed because of the color of your skin. This should piss you off. If you still believe that you are persecuted because you are black then look around you, because most Americans have moved on.
Slavery in the bible is not about black men and women. If you are a God fearing man and woman he’s going to ask why you didn’t think you are worthy enough because you’re black. Do you really think he is going to have sympathy for you because of the color of your skin? If you aren’t willing to prove that you are a man, or woman that cares for their family regardless of skin color that is your own problem. If you aren’t willing to stand up to individuals that think you aren’t capable of achieving success in this country because you are black, that is your fault, not the white man.
John MacArthur’s book Slave is about God owning us; we were bought with his son’s blood. Who would you rather be owned by; God or someone that thinks you are not capable of taking care of your family because you are black? Those in the black community that think they deserve sympathy because of circumstance, and or the color of their skin have not earned the respect of another individual. You are telling others that you aren’t worthy, and you are letting others do this to you. Prove them wrong!
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1
Martin Luther King Jar is one of my heroes. His words, sermons, passion and the belief that equality could be achieved are a powerful legacy for the United States. I have a question though what if we could change our relationship with Christ with just a few words; He is our master and we are His slaves. What if every Christian saw themselves as God’s slave?
God looks at out hearts not the color of our skin. Why would he have created different colors of skin if He thought we weren’t equal? He looks at each person individually. Every knee will bow before God. I had a conversation with a friend some time ago that is black, and I asked what he thought about race in this country. He told me that he teaches his children that there will always be individuals that are ignorant and racist towards them, because of the color of their skin. I am teaching my children the same thing.
I am tired of hearing those in leadership suggest that the American people are racist because they support the constitution and balanced budgets. I wonder if they are saying that because now someone is going to have to prove to others that can do it, and it has nothing to do with the color of their skin or circumstance. In this country we have paid the price for slavery. We can apologize for so long. It is time to forgive, and move forward.
We have provided equal opportunity laws, discrimination laws, grants, loans, colleges, and even changed an entire race to be labeled “African American.“ What else can we do? Every individual that died in this country for a black man to be treated equally must have died in vain then. I feel sorry for people that they don’t realize what the government is doing to them in “social programs. It is just another form of slavery. They want to own you and control how you live your life, your thoughts, and what they define as righteous.
Every time I hear the word nigger out of a black man or woman’s mouth I cringe. When I was 6 years I heard this word from another individual. I repeated it to my mother. I thought she was going to slap me. She told me to never to say that word, or call someone that word because you are saying a person should be treated like animal. When Obama was elected I thought finally maybe we can move past this. I thought maybe so many in the black community would finally get it that they can achieve everything in the United States if they set their minds to it. Well, that hasn’t happened, because he continues to allow the rhetoric of the individuals in his party and those that support him accuse others of racism.
Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Sheila Jackson Lee, Nancy Pelosi and so many others have said he can’t stuff because he is a black man. Would these individuals even have jobs if they stopped with this crap? They would actually have to prove to the American people that they can achieve more than just pulling the race card.
Definition of nigger in the Webster dictionary:
usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a black person
usually offensive; see usage paragraph below : a member of any dark-skinned race
a member of a socially disadvantaged class of persons
“Nigger in senses 1 and 2 can be found in the works of such writers of the past as Joseph Conrad, Mark Twain, and Charles Dickens, but it now ranks as perhaps the most offensive and inflammatory racial slur in English. Its use by and among blacks is not always intended or taken as offensive, but, except in sense 3, it is otherwise a word expressive of racial hatred and bigotry.”
I would like to convict the black community is this country to try and stop this rhetoric. If you think the white man is trying to hold you down then explain to me why there are so many successful black men and women is this country? So many in the Democratic Party, and those in society are telling you that you are not worthy as a man or woman. They are telling that you that you are not intelligent enough to succeed because of the color of your skin. This should piss you off. If you still believe that you are persecuted because you are black then look around you, because most Americans have moved on.
Slavery in the bible is not about black men and women. If you are a God fearing man and woman he’s going to ask why you didn’t think you are worthy enough because you’re black. Do you really think he is going to have sympathy for you because of the color of your skin? If you aren’t willing to prove that you are a man, or woman that cares for their family regardless of skin color that is your own problem. If you aren’t willing to stand up to individuals that think you aren’t capable of achieving success in this country because you are black, that is your fault, not the white man.
John MacArthur’s book Slave is about God owning us; we were bought with his son’s blood. Who would you rather be owned by; God or someone that thinks you are not capable of taking care of your family because you are black? Those in the black community that think they deserve sympathy because of circumstance, and or the color of their skin have not earned the respect of another individual. You are telling others that you aren’t worthy, and you are letting others do this to you. Prove them wrong!
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1
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